My girlfriend is more wrong than I had expected
by BigKokujin
Summary: Hachiman ends up dating Yui after her initial confession wasn't interrupted. Things work out for awhile - until Hatchiman brings up the idea of telling Yukino about them. A whole lot of inferiority related issues and possible yandere tendencies rear their head at once. Updates often I guess?
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first ever anything related to Yahari. I work so this will be at my leisure, and it's pretty darn short due to the fact that I started typing this at 5am and it's 7 now. Experimenting with Hikigaya's personality is a bit difficult. It's also my first submission, so yippee. Feel free to point out any errors. It's short, will be in parts, and will ultimately be some suffering. Because who wants happy when they read/watch this? Come on.  
**

* * *

To work is to lose.

This is a phrase I have repeated many times, in many different variations, all with the same message. By setting a large amount of effort into something, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You can work all your life to finally retire and do what you could have - and should have - done all along; nothing. It is with this that I say the phrase "to work is to lose" with full confidence and belief.

Ah, but on that same path of thought, if working is losing, then why am I working so hard to keep my girlfriend a secret?

Girlfriend. The idea of a solitary creature like me having something along those lines is still enough to make me scoff. Who on Earth would ever consider a relationship with the wolf with no pack? The answer to that question is the owner of the hand currently entangled with mine; Yuigahama. As I stare at her slender, small fingers clasped around mine, I can see her mouth curve up into a smile. Moving my eyes upwards, I can see her looking at me in an admiring fashion, eyes somewhat glassy and half open. All I can do is return the look, cheeks starting to flare up. I can't stand being the recipient of this deep, loving smile. I'm not worthy! Gods, release the spell put on this poor girl's heart!

"Y-Yuigahama; you're staring."  
"Eh?!"

The pink-haired girl jumped slightly, focus returning to her vision and her hair bouncing, exposing her forehead for but a moment. Her cheeks flushed a shade darker than her hair, and she took on a pouting visage. A smile crept across my face upon seeing her cheeks puffed out, only for her to grow even more 'agitated'. Hand balled into a light fist, it collided with my shoulder.

"Hikki! Don't be mean! And I told you, call me 'Yui'!"  
"Right, right...Yui."

As I spoke her name, as she directed me to at least, her expression quickly went from one of mock anger to clear embarrassment. Her mouth hung open ever so slightly, bottom lip glistening with the smallest amount of saliva. Oi, be careful who you show this face too. You could get into real trouble being this cute! Could it be that Yuigahama's cute level can rival Totsuka's?! No, that's crazy. If Yuigahama were cuter than Totsuka I would have asked her to marry me within five seconds of meeting her. Hiratsuka-sensei, forgive me, I can no longer marry you after I graduate. Maybe Zaimokuza can take you, you both seem to have similar interests!

Yuigahama's placed her head on the shoulder she just struck, her hand squeezing mine a bit tighter. The biting wind atop the school rooftop only grew worse in the winter months, Chiba being the frigid (but beautiful) place that it is. I could feel Yuigahama shaking next to me as she pressed herself more firmly against my body. Normally, I would be complaining under my breath about the temperature, but with Yuigahama here, I can only quietly complain about how warm it is. With a slight sigh, I lift my arm up, causing her head to fall closer than she had intended. I can hear a slight gasp her cheek is met with the left side of my ribcage, and the heat emanating from her face reaches me even through my coat. Before she has a chance to react, I swiftly place my arm around her shoulder, pulling her a bit closer. By closing off all exits, I have guaranteed a COMPLETE VICTORY! I wonder how much XP this will net me?

"H-Hikki?! I-I-Isn't this too public a place for this?"  
"Why do you think I eat up here so often? No one would but the crazy or a social outcast would come up here when the weather is this cold."  
"A-and what does that make me, then?"  
"Ahh, crazy. Definitely crazy. It's the only logical explanation I can come up with for you wanting to date me."  
"Dummy Hikki! I want you date you because I lo-"

Before she completes the sentence, she cuts herself off. I don't look to her, but I can picture her expression - deep embarrassment, with a hint of being unsure and worried. She's only said the phrase to me once before, when she initially confessed, months ago.

The night is still clear on my mind. The night of the festival. The night where we stood close to her apartment, and she stopped, turning to me. Something about her eyes, the look she had in them...turned me to stone. As she spoke, she hesitated slightly; and her phone began to ring. I wanted to urge her to answer it, to deter what was about to happen, maybe even avoid it entirely - but the words were stuck in my throat, refusing to exit and held in place with the sweet honey of Yuigahama's words. Finally, she said the words. The three words she almost spoke just now, words I thought I'd never hear from anyone outside of my family. I remember letting out a slight gasp as I looked at her, clad in her yellow yukata, the mix of worry and fear firmly attached to her face, the slight beads of tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. I gave myself a slight smile before I leaned down, quickly pecking her forehead. She shoots up almost immediately, narrowly avoiding smashing into my face, and opens her mouth to speak. However, before she can do so, I cut her off.

"I love you too, Yuigahama."

"Dummy Hikki! Mean, unforgivable, stupid stupid stup **AAAAAGH**!"

Her fist once again pounds into my shoulder, her eyes clenched tight. In between the rain of her fists, I can see she's flustered beyond all belief. All I can do is let the smile etched on my face grow a bit larger. Perhaps not being alone isn't all that bad.

Although, a thought came into my mind which swiftly wiped the grin from my face.

Yukinioshita.

"Yui. Does, uh...Yukinoshita know about this? Us...being together, that is."

Her movement stopped almost immediately, her face bolting up to meet mine at an almost eerie speed. Gone was the look of girlish faux frustration. The look she donned was similar to that of Ebina's, even Haruno's - completely flat, knowing and understanding, yet somewhat condescending at the same time. She smiled as she spoke, eyes unusually sharp for the girl I used to consider a bit air-headed.

"Why do you ask? Does it matter if she knows or not?"

W-what's with that answer?! Is your name actually Reina?! I'll eat the ohagi! **[1]**

"She's your friend, isn't she? And my...clubmate. Shouldn't she know about this?"  
"I don't see why she needs to be involved in any of this, Hikki."

Her response was quick. The words she spoke were so rapid they practically cut me off at the tail end of my sentence. Her look was no longer admiring, soft. If looks could kill, I'd be a pile of ash. She wasn't outwardly malicious, said eyes keeping the same shape, but I've been alone long enough to know to read between the lines. This was the look of 'If you keep talking, I'll kill you'. The warm air I felt suddenly turned a brutal, howling cold, and I swallowed.

"Y-Yui. You aren't seriously saying that we keep this hidden from her? It's been long enough, hasn't it?"  
"What Yukinon doesn't know won't hurt her, Hikki. Why can't it just be the two of us?"  
"Have you really not told anyone?"  
"Have you told Komachi?"

What is this? Why is she answering so bluntly? She's colder than the wind blazing across my face. She makes Yukino herself look like Meguri, in terms of warmth. And what's with these guaranteed critical hit responses?!

"I...haven't, no."

"Why are you asking me to tell Yukinon if you haven't even told your own sister? Do you hold Yukinon on that high of a pedestal, Hikki? Is she that important to you?"

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense. I think that-"

"Do you love Yukinon?"

The question caught me off guard. I let out an audible choking noise as the sentence I was going to speak tumbled out of my mouth rather than carefully stepping out.

"Why would I be interested in Yukinoshita?! What're these accusations for?!"  
"Why do you want to bring Yukinon into this so much?!"  
"Why are YOU so opposed to it?"  
"Because Hikki is mine!"

Yuigahama's exclamation was loud. The wind carried the faint echo of her panicked declaration to faraway places, and I looked at her with a deeply concerned expression. She was angry. Some part of her was angry. I could tell that straight away, I've seen anger of all types directed towards me. But there was something else in there, mixed in with that anger. The faintest hint of despair. Inferiority. The same look I've seen on myself back before I learned to embrace my adversity.

"Yuigahama...are you...jealous of Yukinoshita?"

"Lunch is over, Hikki. We should go back to class."

Completely ignoring my question, the animosity in her face quickly faded, replaced with the carefree, bubbly Yuigahama I know. She gave me a smile that at one point I would've considered cute, and left. I sat there on the roof, the wind berating me, and shivered. It wasn't from the cold - it was from I had just witnessed.

Who was this green monster wearing a suit of white and pink? Was Yui better than Isshiki at hiding her true feelings, to the point where it fooled even me?

With this thought in mind, I swallowed once more. My tongue was dry, heavy. The ultimate question for the day entered my mind.

If the Yuigahama I've known all along was merely an act, then who am I really 'dating'?

Somewhere in the distance I could hear a dog barking and a baby crying, their sounds also riding the icy oceanic winds. However, neither of these were the answer I was looking for. Not even a hint.

* * *

 **References;**

 **[1]** ; A direct reference to _Higurashi_ , particularly the first arc known as _Onikakushi._


	2. Chapter 2

**This blew up overnight, didn't it? Jeez. I'm going to work on the last part, too, don't worry! Thank you for all the kind words, it was a surprising thing to wake up too.**

* * *

By the time I had reached the classroom, Yuigahama was already in her designated spot with Hayama's group. Lunch break hadn't ended quite yet, so the band of 'friends' were chatting away noisily. I glanced over them quickly, briefly scanning each face. Tobe was smiling as his lips moved, while Miura looked disinterested. Hayama kept his same soft, almost resigned expression, as though he were being put through mildly annoying or uncomfortable. Oh, come on, Tobe isn't that bad of a guy! He's a bit noisy but he means well. If he weren't so loud and clingy I might consider Tobe enjoyable to be around. Might being the keyword here. However, as my eyes lazily drifted across each expression, I froze in my tracks when a pair of pink eyes were dead-locked with mine. An eerie chill rose up my spine as Yuigahama smiled at me, gaze unwavering, not even blinking. I, a veteran outcast, should be use to this kind of stare - but this was much, much more sinister. It wasn't filled with any sort of dislike or animosity, but it felt more like being caught under a searchlight; it pinned me in place.

I could feel my mouth opening slightly as if to speak, but I quickly latched it shut. As I realized that now Miura was peering at me in through the peripheral of her vision, I quickly averted my eyes, taking my seat. She shot me the usual glare, but I just returned it. Nothing she could muster could compare to the look Yui Yuigahama just gave me. As Hiratsuka-sensei entered the room, however, my attention was drawn to the front of the class. But, out of the corner of my eye, I could still see Yui giving me that same sentry-like smile. Just what was that face trying to convey? Because all I was getting was unsettled.

Class seemed to fly by. I could hear words, gestures, and expressions coming from Hirtasuka-sensei, but my mind wasn't focused on them. My fingers moved quickly, jotting down bits of information only when the tone in her voice indicated that they were important. I was more focused on Yui. Although never directly turned to her, I could feel her look. It dug into me, hooking into the corners of my conscious and tearing me towards it. Just what was that stare supposed to say to me?

 _Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Hikki, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. I love you so much. Look at me._

I didn't look. Not once. Not even after class had ended. As Hiratsuka-sensei gave her closing statement on the topic at hand, she clapped her hands together and granted us permission to leave. I practically shoved my books into my bag before standing, swiftly moving out through the door at a pace that surprised even myself. As I considered heading straight for the club room, I stopped. No, that would be bad, wouldn't it? I've read enough trashy light novels to know that by doing something like that, you're only provoking the yandere. She'll accuse you of having an affair then cut off your head, disembowel her friend, then vanish on her father's boat **[1]**! I grit my teeth as I thought about running or staying, but my options were quickly sealed off as Yui rounded the corner, the Cheshire smile wide and beaming.

"Ahh, Hikki! You left me again!"

"I-I waited just like I always do, Yui. You don't want people to get the wrong idea until it's time to tell them, you know?"

My reply was hesitant. She caught me off guard. I could see the faintest hint of a sparkle in her eye. Did she catch that? I could register the feeling of a single drop of sweat rolling down my forehead. Her arm linked with mine, and she squeezed me a bit closer. Under normal circumstances, this would be welcome, but given the context, I could only feel fear. Still, I forced a smile out for her.

"Hikki, are you okay? You're acting _**awfully strange**_."

Before I could respond, she moved up onto her tip-toes. Her face was so close to my ear that as she opened her mouth, the wet sound caused me to shiver. Closer than Iroha. Too close! Too, too clo-

"It's almost like you're _afraid_ of me, Hikki."

Again, another chill shot through my body. Yui quickly resumed her normal stance of standing, giving me a sweet smile. How do you say something so sinister then go onto looking so innocent and cute?! Have you been taking lessons from Isshiki?! I couldn't voice my response. My throat sealed shut, as though she were clenching it with her mind. If she knows how to use PSI, her name should be Paula **[2]**. All I could do was shake my head, giving a disingenuous smile to her.

"Of course not, Yui. Why would I be afraid of my...lovely girlfriend?"

I hesitated on the last part of the sentence as I looked around, making sure no one was around. This seemed to appease the raging jealousy demon in Yui, however, as her cheeks flushed. The grip on my arm tightened as she held me closer, coddling my left arm in her grip.

"T-that's a dirty move, Hikki. You shouldn't say things like that with no warning!"

"Sorry, sorry...should we move to the clubroom?"

She won't be this way around Yukino. I hope she won't, at least.

"Why don't we just skip it for the day?"

Her reply was cold, and fatal. It wasn't a suggestion she laid on the table for open debate, it was a demand. Something that you cannot refute. I swallowed, taking a step in the direction of the room myself.

"We can't do that. That's irresponsible and hurtful. Yukinoshita would expect that of me, but from you? She'd understand something was awry almost immediately."

"So? She has plenty she can do. A lot to read, and all the tea in the world. She doesn't need us to have a good time."

I recoiled in response to that. Who is this girl? If you place a fan in front of her, she could legally be classified as an air conditioner. I furrowed my brow, getting a bit angry now. This wasn't right. None of this was right. I took another step in the direction of the room, backing away from Yuigahama. My arm slipped through her grasp before she had a chance to tighten the grip.

"Look, if you don't want to go, that's fine...I'll say you were sick, or had something to do. But I'm not one to just not show up to things without warning."

" _Are you positively sure that that's the **correct choice** to make, Hikki? I'll be awfully cross with you if you go._ "

Gone was any semblance of courtesy or restraint. Her expression was flat, and bitter. There was no grace or tact in her tone. Her eyes looked slightly rotten. I felt my heart seize in my chest for a moment as I took in the bizarre transformation, and quickly averted my look. It was a mistake.

"Yukinoshita is my clubmate, and you're her best friend. It's wrong to just not go. What would she think about us?"

"What Yukinon thinks about us doesn't matter to me at all. If she has a problem with us, she can just **leave**."

The reaction she gave was immediate. Not once did she blink, or move an inch, standing perfectly still. Nothing about what she said, the clarity and alacrity of her words, are what I would attribute to Yuigahama. I could feel the sweat on my brow being joined by more of the same. Her smile grew back, and the light in her eyes resumed its' place, making her look...deceivingly normal. Her arm locked with mine once more, and a surge of unease rushed through my veins. She began moving in the direction of the club, taking me forcefully with her. What is this strength, this ability to hide her intentions? Is she a skin-walker **[3]**?

"But, I suppose we should go check in on Yukinon, right, Hikki? Let's go together!"

I wanted to speak. I wanted to ask her what was going on. As she dragged me, I ran through a million different things to say, but I could not say a single word. I looked out of the window as we took that leisurely pace.

Specks of snow fell, dotting the landscape. This situation is too pleasant for snow. Mother Nature, you really got the mood wrong.

* * *

 **For now, I think this is a good place to stop. I'll be writing more, of course, but I write in quick bursts. Yukino next chapter!**

* * *

 **References;**

 **[1]** ; A reference to the anime/visual novel _School Days_

 **[2]** ; A reference to the video game _Earthbound_

 **[3]** ; A Native American folklore monster. The skin-walker is basically a horrible shape-shifting THING that wears the skin of animals to transform into them. In popular culture, it takes over people and uses deceit to make itself seem normal, but there's always something notably wrong with it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Gonna be a lull in updates, here. Work tonight, in an hour actually, for the next few days.**

* * *

Yuigahama opened the door with such force that it actually startled Yukinoshita, who sat on the edge of her seat in a manner much like a surprised cat. I found it mildly amusing, but kept my face stoic. With her hand raised to the air and an overly cheery tone, Yuigahama greeted our clubmate.

"Yukinon, yahallo!"

"A-Ah, Yuigahama, hello, Hikigaya as well."

She gave us a smile, but I could tell that from the door slamming open she was actually quite shaken. I was still quite startled myself from the sudden developments that had unfolded over the course of the day, so I suppose loud noises should put me edge even further. The last thing I need is Yuigahama calling my phone a thousand times over night, leaving a bunch of infernal revelations beamed through the cryptic shadows **[1]** of telecommunications technology. The idea alone drew out another shiver - if I'm not careful, at this rate, someone will think I have a cold from all the shaking I'm doing. Following behind Yuigahama at a safe distance, I took my seat at the far end of the table, with Yuigahama in the middle and Yukinoshita at the end opposite me. As Yuigahama took out her bright pink phone, Yukinoshita gave me a soft, somewhat worried smile, before rising to make the tea. Ah, how considerate of her to wait for us before making it!

Although, how long would she be waiting if we were to just...never show up?

Probably until the end of time.

As I looked at Yukinoshita, I could feel Yuigahama's blatant stare. Her fingers moved swiftly on the buttons of her flip phone, until finally mashing her thumb in a decisive, singular strike - the send button. Almost immediately, I could feel a vibration coming from my bag. My eyes momentarily widened as the sound reverberated through the quiet room, Yukinoshita herself turning her head back to look at me.

"Oh, someone actually wants to speak with Hikigaya? I worry for whoever willingly messages that beast of cynicism and despair."

"Oi, I don't exactly see your phone blowing up either. Who knows? Maybe I'm really popular."

"The only people I see you being popular with is the police force."

The banter actually made me grin, but Yuigahama's voice sliced through the calm air like a knife.

"You should see who it is, Hikki. It might be _very important_."

There was a slight expression of confusion on Yukinoshita's face as Yuigahama spoke. _So she picked up on it, too? That's good. I'm not imagining things._ With a grumbling sigh, I reached into my bag, digging around through school supplies and notebooks until finally pulling out my phone. I dragged my way through the security procedures before opening my messages. Indeed, the only one I had was from Yuigahama, as I suspected, and I made a quiet swallowing sound before opening it.

 _Should you really be cheating on me so blatantly, Hachiman? Please look at me and only me._

I could feel a small surge of terror working its way through my veins as I read each word carefully. I moved my eye ever so slightly, looking at Yuigahama. She was smiling, that same jaded, distant smile. Yukinoshita, however, was still looking at me.

"Was it important, Hikigaya? It's the only reason I can imagine someone speaking to you outside of obligation."

"Y-Yeah...it was very important, alright…"

I could only choke out an answer.

"I hope nothing _bad_ happens to Hikki…"  
"Something tells me that this message was a warning to prevent that, Yuigahama."

Her smile only widened. Yuigahama isn't capable of violence. I don't think she'd physically harm someone. Yukinoshita looked between us with an increasing expression of worry and confusion.

"Hikigaya-kun; are you alright? You look rather...pale. You look as though you've seen a ghost."

"J-Just saw someone's true colors for the first time earlier. It's a bit startling."

" _And who might you be referring too, Hikki~?"_

"H-Hiratsuka-sensei! She actually is way into Sailor Moon, not Gundam. I found it humorous."

"Hikigaya-kun, your expression is not one of humor, but one of fear. But, given that you found something Hiratsuka-sensei enjoys humorous, I suppose fear is the best emotion you can feel for the inevitable beating she will undoubtedly give you for mocking her about it. I would recommend avoiding all jokes about it."

"Yeah...that's a good idea. I'll just avoid thinking about it entirely."

If I could avoid thinking about the pink haired girl next to me, I would. If I could go back and stop that confession, I...might. Things have been fine up until now. Did Yuigahama always harbor this deep resentment for Yukinoshita? I could only remember the words she spoke to me during the whole student council debacle.

" _I'm going to beat Yukinon."_

At the time, I thought this merely to be a declaration of her intention to win the presidency, we were already dating at the time. I took it at face value, which was a horrendous mistake. I, the one who always insists on reading between the lines, took something that serious at face value. What else did she have to beat Yukinoshita in? Why is this sudden jealousy only showing up when I wish to tell our closest associate of our relationship status?

Wait. Use your senses, your ability to read the mood and intentions, Hachiman. You've trained for this moment since birth. Yuigahama was completely fine, normal even, until you bought up the idea of informing Yukinoshita. What would happen besides Yukinoshita now knowing? What would make Yuigahama so paranoid, green with envy, and possessive? What does she have to worry about? It's not like Yukinoshita would care that we're dating…wait. Wait, wait wait.

Does Yukinoshita have a crush on me? Is that why Yuigahama is so paranoid? I can feel my cheeks start to flush at the mere idea, my eyes once more growing wide in a sort of sudden understanding. Yuigahama is afraid that by telling Yukinoshita, Yukinoshita will make a move of her own, or react adversely. Once more, my phone loudly vibrates, this time in the palm of my hand.

"A real emergency indeed."

I don't respond to Yukinoshita's comment, quickly checking my phone.

 _It seems as though you've realized something, dummy Hikki. Your face is all messed up and red like you've just been confessed too. But what exactly did you figure out, I wonder~?_

S-s-scary! Scary! I quickly throw my phone into my bag, avoiding eye contact with Yuigahama. Okay, okay. This situation is a bomb, I understand now. It's a terrorist situation and I have no shoes **[2]**. This needs to be carefully diffused. Yuigahama's feelings of inadequacy and Yukinoshita's (possible) feelings of deep caring. If only I could be a blissfully unaware harem protagonist who has no idea that the women he surrounds himself with are all after him. Yukinoshita placed the Pan-san teacup in front of me with a soft click, causing me to jump as the sound brought me out of my deep thought. Embarrassed, I spoke.

"T-Thank you."

"Don't think of it too much, Hikigaya. If I didn't bring you your cup, you'd never get up to actually get it. You'd fall asleep halfway to the tea set, muttering about how working is losing. It would also explain your overall basic physique, Hikisticka."

"What's with the super effective words here? I'm gonna cry, come on."

"Oh, how unsightly that would be. Your eyes are already rotten enough, no need to add them being clenched and weeping to make them look worse."

"Spare me these insults, you'll run your repertoire dry and have no good material left over."

"My inventory has just been taken, thank you, and I have well over a thousand different ways to playfully berate you, and more not-so-playful ones."

"Have you considered the military? I'm sure they could use your stern skill. Though you'd probably be charged for more than a few war crimes…"

The banter continued back and forth; I was really getting into it, to say the least. As we spoke, however, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a new expression. Yuigahama's face was no longer flat, in a fake expression of happiness and caring, or even malicious. She just looked angry. Soon enough, club was wrapped up. Goodbyes were exchanged, and I left ahead of the others. As I closed the door behind me, however, I could hear a faint voice.

"Yukinon, we need to talk about something…"

* * *

 **References;**

 **[1];** A reference to an obscure, kind of creepy youtube video known as _Banjo Gyro_. I can't go past that, just watch it.

 **[2];** A reference to _Die Hard_.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't stand around as I heard the conversation initiate. I may eavesdrop on many things, but this was something I didn't want to be near. I was the elephant in the room at all times, both in terms of standing out and in frightening memory capacity and clarity. Hurriedly, I made way down the hall, walking at such a brisk pace that i actually found myself mildly out of breath. Haaanh? I thought riding a bike was supposed to increase stamina? I think Yukinoshita could beat me in a race at this point. Perhaps the comment about me falling asleep halfway to my cup wasn't entirely incorrect, although I'd be more likely to collapse in a pool of unsightly sweat and tears of self-hatred for letting myself get this way. I quietly moved through the front door and bit my lower lip immediately. The snow had only gotten heavier and heavier since the club started, the biting wind at the top of the roof now nothing in comparison to the gale of icy debris sweeping across the landscape. With weather like this, biking is absolutely out of the question. I'm more likely to end up in Narnia than I am at home. Begrudgingly, I trudge through the snow to retrieve my bicycle. A few flakes of snow manage to find their way down the back of my neck to my back proper, and I let out a quiet, indignant yelp of surprise. _Awuaaah! Cold, cold cold!_ After firmly reaffixing my scarf, I undid the lock on my bike and carefully wheeled it forward. The snow crunched under my steps as the bike swerved and wobbled, like a toddler taking its' first steps. Slowly, I made my way in the direction of my home, escorting my faithful steed by my side. Oi, don't get the wrong idea! We're just co-workers of sorts.

"Come on, girl. Let's get you home. Maybe I'll see if there's a kotatsu especially for bikes."

The streets were practically serene, everything covered in a fresh white blanket. Like a blank canvas, an unpainted world. With the wind not-so-quietly blowing through the empty street, I let out a relaxed sigh. For the first time in hours, I didn't feel completely on edge. This was a moment of respite, a time to retreat and regroup. My forces were weakened considerably by the forces of darkness (heretofore referred to as 'Yuigahama's continuous mental assault'), but I am a strong opponent.l - The Hero King of Loners! I will not be so easily bested by the Demoness General Y. Gahama! Ahh, if I keep up this train of thought I may relapse into eighth grade and become Zaimokuza's partner in embarrassment. Still, the events invaded my mind, rooting their way deep into the front of my thoughts. Perhaps I'm a bit more dense than I initially assessed. Perhaps I'm biased? No, of course not. I'm my own most ferocious critic!

Yuigahama was clearly on the defensive. She was terrified, but at the same time, aggressive; a cornered animal. Yukinoshita was a wildcard, her reaction to all of this could be either just as bad, if not worse. Just how WOULD the yuki-onna **[1]** that is Yukinoshita respond to this development? I hardly need another obsessive-possessive girl, especially Yukinoshita. If SHE was like that, I think I might actually be in danger! But, I can acknowledge that I must take Yuigahama seriously as well, lest I be punished for my own hubris. Both of them are to be considered class S threats. Danger, Will Robinson, danger **[2]**! My legs moved on autopilot as I spent the rest of the walk deep in thought, running potential plots and escape options, all of which quickly dismissed. I couldn't talk to Hiratsuka-sensei, as she would likely make things worse by activating her own stalker techniques. Zaimokuza would be of absolutely no assistance because outside of Ebina, he has no experience dealing with women, if you can even classify Ebina as one. Totsuka and I couldn't elope, so that option was shot out of the sky almost immediately by harsh, reality-packed anti-air cannons. Quite a bind I found myself in. Parking Epona in her home, I entered my own.

"Komachi, I'm home."

My call echoed throughout the home, to which I received no reply. Kamakura looked at me lazily, letting out a quiet meow. _Hello, master. I'm quite comfy here, so don't bother me, 'kay~?_ Do not worry, Kamakura. I am looking to bother the other resident of this home whose name starts with a 'K'. Stepping into the kitchen, I looked around to see if she was waiting in ambush. However, I was greeted with a note, hastily written in a handwriting that can not be mistaken for anyone else's. I glanced over the note, but froze in place.

' _Yui called me out shopping on sort notice, onii-chan! We'll be at the mall. She invited you as well, but you weren't home left, so I left without you~. If you don't come, I'll buy you something as an apology - no matter what happens here I'll earn Komachi points, right? Of course!_

 _Komachi.'_

This. _This_ was bad. Almost immediately, I was right back out that door, racing and panting through frozen streets and frigid air. _No, no no no! Komachi, alone with a highly unstable Yuigahama?! All this spelt was trouble, in many different languages at that!_ A sound like rushing water overtook my sense of hearing as I moved, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I was overheating, wheezing, and otherwise on the verge of collapse when I finally reached the train station. I nearly knocked people out of the way as I flew up the stairs. My, I looked like quite the action movie star, didn't I? Would I be an anti-hero? Many people must of thought I was running from the cops. Hastily making my way through to the platform, I boarded the train, collapsing into one of the seats. The fellow passengers looked at me as though I was some sort of escaping refugee, and to their credit, I was a disheveled, exhausted mess. The speed at which I had sprint through uneven snow was alarming, the fact I avoided injury even more so. But, in times of great peril, a big brother is capable of entering a sort of super-powered frenzy. My invincibility had finally worn off, however, and I was hit with the full brunt of my escapades at once, with locomotive force. Ahh, I was just getting used to the jingle **[3]** too...

Slowly, I reached for my phone, still in my bag which I never got the chance to drop, and checked the messages. I had well over twenty from Yuigahama, all of which I ignored, for the time being. Quickly, I dialed the number of my beloved little sister. _If so much as think about hurting one hair on her head, I'll throw you to the dire wolves._ As it rang, I tensed up. Please, please answer. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four. Five, six…finally, I could hear someone pick up! My greeting practically flew out of my mouth, the second I heard the click of being connected.

"Komachi?!"

" _Yahallo, Hikki. Komachi-san can't come to the phone right now...she's a bit busy with something. I'm sure you'll be here soon enough, though, riiight~? See you soon!"_

" _ **YUIGAHAMA-**_ _"_

The dialtone cut me off. I looked at my phone. Why is the screen shaking so much? No, not the screen, my hand. Quivering. All of this funding and technology and the train is still too slow.

 _Komachi, onii-chan is coming, as fast as Chiba's train line will allow._

* * *

 ** _References;_**

 ** _[1];_** The _Yuki-Onna_ is a malevolent snow spirit. What exactly they do varies from story to story.  
 **[2];** _Lost in Space._  
 **[3];** A reference to how most invincibility powerups in video games are accompanied by a catchy tune.


	5. Chapter 5

As the train moved, my foot tapped in horrid anticipation. I was sweating, even after catching my breath, as I kept my eyes firmly pinned to the window. I wasn't looking out it, but past it, past everything else. What happened? Why was Yuigahama with Komachi? What happened with Yukinoshita? Yuigahama isn't capable of violence. She's not capable of hurting someone beyond a few harsh words. But although I say that, I remember her surprising strength as she held my arm, so much to the point where I couldn't even retract if I tried, and I DID try! Hikisticka. Was Yukinoshita...well, alive? No, that's thinking far, FAR too much in the black! She's fine, Yukinoshita can defend herself, especially after that debacle with Miura.

But...a sneak attack from a friend? I can picture it clearly from Yuigahama's perspective. Yukinoshita's soft smile quickly turned into an expression of pain and confusion mixed with shock, a sharp pain radiating from the abdomen from the strike. _Et tu, Yui?_ There's no silver to be won in betraying Yukinoshita. But, calm down. Yukinoshita has to return the key every day. If something happened to her, Hiratsuka-sensei would almost surely discover it. My phone would be exploding.

But that doesn't mean something hadn't happened after the club had dismissed, and I had left. Had Yuigahama lead her away from school to a more secluded area? There are many alleys...no, no! This is too cynical, even for me. Yukinoshita is fine! But...Komachi. I know Komachi is with her, right now, somewhere in the mall. A crowded place. The thought simultaneously eases my worried mind but causes me stress. _Uwaaaah...it's gonna be so tightly packed with people…_ The train lurched to a stop, and I found myself rocked forward. The final destination had been reached. Blowing through the doors, I very nearly slipped on the icy patch of concrete that awaited me on the station platform. I could hear myself being scolded by a shocked policeman, but I quickly and mindlessly blurt out an apology, moving my way down the steps with alacrity not known to me since the race with Hayama. As I raced through the streets, quickly dodging smaller groups by narrowly jumping through them, I must say, I felt quite cool! Real action movie material, here. Still liable to be arrested. The mall in question was up ahead, I could see the massive structure looming in the distance. With a renewed burst of vigor, I grit my teeth, pressing forward. The wind had not let up one bit, and I could feel my sweat beginning to freeze on my body. If I stopped now, I'd become a Hikisicle. A horrible fate, indeed.

Nearing the automatic entrance, I could once again hear the sound of rushing water, something I can only attribute to an auditory hallucination of adrenaline. All other sounds seemed to be dulled, faces blurred and unimportant, while the door shone with crystal clear quality, guiding me towards it. Someone had just stepped on the mat as I rapidly advanced, and the door was opened. Using every bit of my shonen power, I leaped from the curb and onto the mat, blasting past the person who had just opened it, who let out a startled shriek and almost fell over. I saw light blue hair in a ponytail and what appeared to be something similar to our school uniform, but I ignored it, still moving. Ahh, if this were a time attack, I'd be hitting _S RANK!_ right about now. My legs burned, my throat was dry and hoarse from greedily inhaling frozen air, and now that the heat had begun affecting my body, all of the frozen sweat exploded at once back into liquid form. I didn't stop moving, I couldn't stop! Komachi was in danger! In the distance, I saw what I could only describe as a waypoint. Bouncing carefully in the distance was a pink bun, the person it was attached to rocking back and forth on her heels. With fire in my heart and appendages, I kept up the assault against my own body, pressing forward. Yuigahama herself saw me, and froze in her tracks, looking at me with what I can only describe as fear in her eyes. Approaching her, I let out a ferocious warcry, but it came out more as a hacking, wheezing cough.

"What have you done with Komachi?!"

"H-Hikki! Are you alright?! You look like you're about to faint! Here, let's get you some water…"

Her hand reached out to touch mine. My eyes widened as I noticed something was off. Her hand...she had something red on it. Before she even could even fully extend her arm, I slapped her hand away. Gone was my exhaustion, replaced now with righteous fury and holy purpose. As I quickly repelled her attack, she looked at me in a confused, slightly upset manner - she made the same face she did when I refused to hold her hand the first time.

"Where. Is. Komachi?! Is she hurt? _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER?"_

"I-I-I didn't do anything! Why are you yelling, what did I do?!"

She looked on the verge of tears. Were I a younger man, I would've fallen for the facade. But now, I merely gave her a look of disgust and anger. I opened my mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off. I could see behind her, coming out of a store was bags, was a familiar face. Her visage brightened up considerably, and she waved. Behind her was another figure, skin as pale as the snow falling outside, with an expression as cold as it.

"Onii-chan! You came after all! I thought for sure you'd join Kamakura in the Kotatsu Klub...are you alright? You look as though you've seen a ghost."

"Hikigaya-kun, have you just ran a marathon? I thought you swore off of that after the request from Miura."

I was astonished. As my heart calmed, my endurance stat lost all of the bonus points provided by the _Brother's Protection_ buff. Wracked with pain, I collapsed backwards onto a bench, eyes burning from the sweat dripping down into them.

"Ahh, YuiYui, you have ketchup on your hand!"

"Ack! Embarrassing…"

As Yuigahama bought her hand up to her mouth, she licked the ketchup off. Like a dog nursing its' wounds. Voice hoarse and tired, I spoke.

"Why...are you all here?"

"What do you mean, Hikki? Didn't you get my texts?"

"I was worried they'd contain quasidimensional demons of spite…"

"Quasi...dimensional...what does that last part mean?!"

As Yuigahama spoke, I shakily retrieved my phone. I opened the first text message from her, and read it.

 _Valentine's Day is coming and a lot of things are on sale! Me, Yukinon, and maaaaybe Komachi are going to go out and buy some things. You should come too, Hikki! ( ´_ _・_ _ω_ _・_ _`)_

Ah. This was not a hostage situation. This was...Valentine's Day shopping. And I was just dragged into it. As Komachi and Yukinoshita stood behind Yuigahama, giving me a concerned look, Yuigahama herself wore her smile. Her eyes took on the same glassy, long-gone expression as they had before, and her mouth moved. She was saying something without actually voicing it.

 _I...o...you…_

What? What is she…

 _I...love...you…_

Rather than blushing, I could feel myself growing paler.


	6. Chapter 6

Muttering under my breath, I was dragged along with the trio of women as they did their Valentine's Day shopping. If someone were to see me now, they'd surely think I was on the _Harem End Express_. There are numerous things wrong with the statement alone, considering one of them is my little sister, you sickos! As I sighed, Yukinoshita gave me a look out of the corner of her eye.

"Are you alright, Hikigaya? You seem to be far more repulsive than normal."

"Well, when you sprint through heavy snow in a winter coat, you tend to get a little exhausted."

"And why were you were running? That anxious to come see someone who invited you out somewhere? You're either quite lonely or a deviant."

"Yeah, of course. No."

With a wave of my hand, I dismissed any more comments coming from Yukinoshita. A few steps ahead of me, Komachi and Yuigahama were talking with one another, quite noisily might I add. The volume and proximity of their conversation was to the point that I could no longer register the sound of my own footsteps, just one more sound that was lost to my senses due to the hectic crowds of people. However, in a quick glance, I could see something was wrong with Yukinoshita. She appeared to be mildly troubled, brow furrowed as she watched Yuigahama. I slowed my steps just a bit, and she quickly noticed. Before she could open her mouth, I pressed a single finger to my lips and did a small gesture indicating for her to do the same. She shot me a stern look but did so regardless, matching my pace. Quietly, I spoke to Yukinoshita.

"Hey...has Yuigahama seemed off to you?"

"I'm glad I'm not the only perceptive person in the room, then."  
"This isn't the time for jokes, I'm serious. Has she, uh...seemed scary?"

"Scary? What do you mean?"

I bit my lower lip, gnawing it as I tried to construct a sentence that could properly portray what Yuigahama's been doing to me without giving away the fact that we're a couple. Words linked together but never quite held up what I wanted to say without leaking information.

"She's been leaving me some very interesting, borderline threatening text messages."

"Hoh? Forgive me, Hikigaya, but I am having trouble believing that."

"I'm serious! Really, I mean it. It's been freaking me out all day."

"Then may I see these messages? I, of course, need evidence if you are to say such things."

Quickly, I took out my phone. My eyes alternated between looking up to Yuigahama and down to the screen as hastily moved through the navigation menus. I decided to pick one that wouldn't give away our current relationship status, and one of the more recent ones at that.

 _Hikki, why do you prefer Yukinon's conversation over mine? Am I not good enough? You never smile that way when we talk, seem so active. Are you two doing something behind my back? I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. Tell me._

The words on the screen alone were enough to make me cringe. Yukinoshita saw my shivering and almost looked sympathetic, but the expression quickly faded and she held her hand out. Quickly, I pressed the device into her hand, our fingers brushing with one another's. Ahh, if I were younger, I might be a blushing and apologetic mess! Her eyes scrolled over each letter, seeming to absorb them in as they formed words, and her eyes widened very slightly, the same look of confusion I had pictured her having appearing on her face. Nailed it. She pressed my phone back into my hand, and looked at Yuigahama.

"That is indeed Yuigahama's mail address…"

"See? I wasn't kidding when I said that. She's been doing this since lunch. You should hear some of the calls…"

"But why is she saying these things? Did something happen between you two?"

"Urk- no. Nothing happened."

There was a gleam in her eye as I spoke those words, and I averted my look.

"Hikigaya, you aren't a very good liar. I wouldn't recommend a career in anything involving sensitive information, as one look at your rotten eyes rolling away from them would clearly reveal your bluff."

"Please, can we not do this right now? This is very, very serious."

"Hmph, fine. I'll still take this as a victory, though."

 _So blatantly attacking a man while he's down?! No honor!_

I looked up to see if the two were still speaking - I was so engrossed in my own conversation that I neglected to look - and was met by Yuigahama's icy stare. It was directed to Yukinoshita and myself, and I knew that Yukinoshita herself felt it because she froze in her tracks. _The ice queen is frozen? All is lost._ The stare seemed to say a thousand different things at once, but she quickly turned back to the front, watching where she was going and speaking to Komachi. I gave Yukinoshita a glance and she returned it, looking mildly perturbed herself.

"I'm not lying."

"I...see that…"

"Ahh, onii-chan! Yukino! Me and Yui want to stop here!"

Komachi's sweet voice filled the air, and I felt just a bit better. The store in question was a very high-class...undergarment store. My mouth hung agape before I shook my head, and I planted myself on the nearest bench. Ahh, warm. Warm warm warm. Surprisingly, Yukinoshita followed suit, and I was forced to scoot over.

"Eh? Here? In that case, I'll be waiting outside."

"Hoh, perhaps Hikigaya isn't such a demented pervert. I will stay here as well to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't assault anyone else."

"Aww, you two are no fun! Come on, YuiYui!"

"R-right...hey, Hikki, Yukinon?"

We both looked up to Yuigahama. Her face was stone, tongue silver, and spit acid.

" _Don't do anything silly, alright?"_

She left, following Komachi inside, and I shivered.

"I...am not sure what's wrong with Yuigahama, Hikigaya. She's acting as though she were an extremely jealous wife."

PFFFFBBBTBTBTBT

"Y-Yeah, crazy, right? I'm not sure what I did, or what you did."

"Me? What does this have to do with me?"

"A majority of the messages I'm getting are that she doesn't want you and me together. Don't know why."

Yukinoshita looked troubled as I spoke those words. For a moment, I thought I could see the faintest hint of flush on her cheeks. _W-why that reaction?_

"I see."

"Ah, that so?"

We sat awkwardly, occasionally exchanging glances as people walked by us. Every so often, I could see Yuigahama and Komachi walking back and forth from aisle to aisle, carrying various pairs of bras and underwear. I really didn't need to see this. Rather, I used my time to activate my _Detective Instincts._ Yuigahama jealous of Yukinoshita. Yukinoshita not sure what to do. Yukinoshita possibly likes me. Yukinoshita possibly likes me. Yukinoshita is closer than she was a moment ago?!

Her face was still a bit red, and her hand was next to mine. I looked away from her once I noticed her finger were watching, almost as if deciding on what they should do. Her pinky was edging closer towards my thumb, but stopped, hesitant. _So, it's going to be like that? Ahhh! Why do the Gods toy with me so?!_ I moved my hand closer to hers, our fingers touching. I heard a slight gasp but 'ignored' it, gauging her reaction. I expected to be berated, slapped, or arrested, but instead, she left it there. I could feel the warmth radiating from them - they were slightly wet. We sat in complete silence, very stealthily 'holding hands', for the next few minutes. Ahh, what's with this tension? I feel like my heart is going to explode.

"Y-You really are despicable, Hikigaya…"

"Ehh? Where'd that come from? I didn't do anything."

"You know full well what you're doing...what _we're_ doing...which makes me just as despicable…"

"I-I'm not sure I follow, Yukinoshita."

"It doesn't take a physicist to see that you and Yuigahama are an item."

 _SHE KNEW?!_

"But, still...even knowing this, I...think that this is nice…"

Her hand moved just a bit closer, the palm of her hand squarely on top of mine. I actually looked to her this time, confused and growing increasingly embarrassed. She returned the look, face bright red and looking as though she was on the verge of tears. My mouth once more hung slightly ajar. The girl I had considered cold, unfeeling, and robotic now looked as though she was about to catch fire.

"Yukinoshita…"

"Phone."

"Eh?"

"Give me your phone."

"A-Ah...right…"

I clumsily handed her my phone, and she shot me a glare out of the corner of her eye. _What happened to that soft, vulnerable exterior?! How fast does your armor regenerate?!_

I couldn't tell exactly what she was doing, but by the time she handed me my little slab back I could tell. New contact; Yukino.

"Don't make me regret this, Hikigaya…"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to bother you. The most I'll do is change your name to Yukinyan~."

"This is already proving to be a mistake, give me that back this instant."

"Nope."

I gave her a grin, and slowly, she returned it, even chuckling under her breath. We were both flushed, hearts thumping in our chest with enough force to wake the Devil, and scared. We weren't scared of Yuigahama. We were scared of what it is we wanted, both as individuals and from each other. Was this merely a one time thing? Or would it progress more? Furthermore...what of Yuigahama?

* * *

I stood in the shop with Hikki's little sister. She was speaking to me and inquiring about what set I preferred, and I nodded my head and answered automatically. My eyes were fixated on the atrocity I was noticing outside. Hikki and Yukinon, sitting out on the bench, speaking so freely with one another. One looked flustered and the other was smiling. Just what was going on out there, I wonder? They sure look _awfully_ close right now. Hoh? Hikki is taking out his phone, and…

I dropped the clothes I was holding in shock and disbelief. Komachi quickly inquired as to if I was okay, and I coolly played it off - I think I'm cool, at least...but, what was Yukinon doing to his phone? Why did he give it to her? Why? Why? Why? I knew this would happen. I knew this was going to happen. Why didn't I stop it sooner?

It's not too late.


	7. Chapter 7

Eventually, Yuigahama and Komachi emerged from the shops, both carrying large bags. Whatever genius (or pervert) chose the design left them slightly transparent to radical colors, which most lingerie devolved into. I refrained from looking at Komachi's, but I could clearly see Yuigahama's was a bright pink, with what appeared to be lace accents. _Hoh? Hoooooooooh?_

Standing before they could even greet us, I extended my hands. I've done this enough times with Isshiki to know what to do. Komachi almost immediately plopped the bag into my hand, letting out an exhausted sigh. Yuigahama, however, took the time to blush and fidget before placing the bag into my hand. _Hey, we don't want Komachi to get the wrong idea. Use some of that super-excited Love Love~ energy to perk up._ Quietly, Komachi spoke in a low, seemingly exhausted tone.

"They barely had anything interesting in my size...I had to settle on regular ol' underwear."

"That's good. You're a bit too young for anything flashy."

"Onii-chan, you're no fun…"

Komachi pouted, cheeks puffed out and swollen as I responded to her whining. With a small smile, I switched her bag to the other hand, freeing it for _Big Bro tactic #928; the 'There There'!_ My hand landed softly on Komachi's head, and slowly, I began to pet her, being careful not to pull on any hairs or get caught on them. Komachi seemed to calm down instantly, eyes closing as she smiled. Yuigahama and Yukinoshita looked on in wonderment, as though I was calming down a raging, wild beast. Quietly, I began speaking in a soft, melodic tone.

"There there, Komachi. It's all okay."

"Fuwaaaah...onii-chan, not in public, it's embarrassing. What if someone gets the wrong idea?"

"H-Hikki…"

I glanced over to Yuigahama, who was once again flush and twitching eagerly, as though restraining herself with every fiber of her being. Her eyes look at my hand, then to me. The action repeated itself a few times before I got the exact message she was attempting to convey, and I gave her a flat look.

"Out of the question."

"E-Eh?! But I didn't even say anything!"

"Head pets are reserved for special occasions or little sisters. You fill none of the qualifications."

"Geh!"

"Onii-chan~."

"Yes, Komachi~?"

"Pet YuiYui~."

"No~."

"If you don't I won't make you breakfast for a week~."

"Yuigahama~."

"Y-Yes, Hikki?"

"Head, please~."

Very begrudgingly, I moved my hand away from Komachi's dome. She gave me a somewhat sinister 'gotcha' grin. H-Hey, don't tell me you're _yandere_ for me and Yuigahama as an item?! That'd be horrible - and weird. Like a demented Cupid you just so happen to be related to.

Yuigahama bowed slightly, her messy pink hair practically on presentation. I could see her trembling, hands wrapped around one another and squeezing as she anticipated the sensation. With a quiet sigh, I pressed my hand on to her head, carefully ruffling her hair. She jumped at first, stifling a noise, but quickly moved her head into each movement. Embarrassed, I looked away. Yukinoshita was still looking on in a sense of wonder, as Komachi was simply nodding her head.

"T-There there, Yuigahama...it's all okay…"

"Mm...Hikki...your hand is so soft…"

 _Ah, please refrain from saying such embarrassing things, Yuigahama. This is dangerous territory. If people were to see this, many people would surely curse me by saying 'I hope that lucky bastard gets what's coming to him', and given how events are going, what I'm going to get is stabbed._

When I pulled my hand away, Yuigahama merely pouted. For a moment, I was worried she was going to press her head back against my hand like a dog upset that you stopped petting her too early. Regardless, she gave me a warm smile. It was refreshing, compared to the death glares. Turning on her heels, she rocked forward.

"Let's go! There are still a lot of stores to check out."

"Isn't it kind of late…?"

"Shh, Hikki. Don't be a party pooper."

"Yes, Hikigaya. Haven't you learned by now that Yuigahama is not to be intercepted when shopping?"

"See, Yukinon agrees! Or was that an insult?!"

Yukinoshita merely smiled. Komachi giggled under her breath, and all I could do was give an exasperated smile. From store to store, the amount of bags I was carrying gradually grew. Foodstuffs, school supplies, small pieces of jewelry...a small assortment of plush animals from Yukinoshita. _You as well?!_ As time dragged on and on, finally the restless ball of whim-spending that was Yuigahama Yui let out a loud yawn.

"I think that's enough for today, guys...what do you think?"

"I think that if I have to carry anymore I'll need new arms."

"Yes, as expected of Hikisticka."

"I asked you to stop with the critical strikes."

"Hikitwigga."

"Yukinyan."

"Do you want a traditional funeral, or will cremation work? Both options are involuntary in either case, of course."

"You're already setting me on fire with these insults…"

"But, yes, I agree with Hikigaya."

"That's a first."

"Shush. It's quite late, and we should all be off."

"Komachi is tired too...but this was really fun! I'm glad we could all go out together. We even managed to drag the onii-troll out from his lair."

"It's not a lair. It's a sanctuary."

"Only someone like you would consider that place a sanctuary, onii-chan…"

"Shall we all ride the train together, then? No point in splitting up, we're headed the same direction…"

"Ah, me and Yui planned to go somewhere else. Right, YuiYui?"

"Eh? We did?"

"Yes, of course we did! We'll be a bit longer, you too can go on ahead."

"B-But-"

"Come, YuiYui!"

Before either me or Yukinoshita could intercept the boisterous wind that was Komachi Hikigaya, both her and Yuigahama's bags were quickly swiped from my hand. But, Komachi herself never moved...unless?! _An afterimage?! My little sister can't possibly be this stealthy. A lost result of the Les Enfants Terribles project, perhaps_ _ **[1]**_ _?_ Yukinoshita turned to me, looking mildly concerned. I returned the look, hoisting her bag up.

"How will you handle Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think there's a safe way to handle her. Even when she seems normal, I feel like she's ready to lash out at me and tear out my throat."

"Yes, I understand the feeling of underlying animosity...but, none of it seems to be directed at you. Sadly, I am the recipient of those feelings…"

Yukinoshita let out a troubled sigh, eyes glassing over as her gaze fell to the floor. Her feet moved anxiously in place.

"I...feel very bad, Hikigaya. If she were to found out about this, I would just be enacting her worst nightmare, wouldn't I?"

"You didn't do anything. I'm the one to blame…"

"Why do you say that?"

"I technically made the first move…"

"Yes, but I reciprocated."

"It wouldn't happen again if I were to do it now...just caught up in the moment, I guess."

What should've ended the conversation caused a devilish gleam in Yukinoshita's eye. I caught that gleam, and shivered slightly. She took a step forward, standing next to me. _Dangerously close! My comfort zone is at least another step away, please move back from the Hachiman._ Nonchalantly but very clearly intentionally, her hand dangled close to mine. Her index finger brushed against my middle, and I let out another shiver, only this one a mildly pleasurable one.

"Shall we go, Hikigaya? We can ride the train home together. I don't mind sharing a train car with an unruly hog so long as there are other people to keep you in check."

"Hey, how many animals are you gonna compare me too? I'm practically a walking zoo at this rate."

"Oh, a fair comparison - for lack of better wording, you share the zoo's odor."

"Then why are you so close?"

"No reason."

Yukinoshita gave a coy smile. Her fingers not-so-accidentally pressed against mine as we moved forward, the sleeve of her coat colliding with mine. This was a dirty, dirty trick. This was the kind of trap I'd expert Haruno to lay for me, but from Yukino, it was enough to make me quiver in confusion and extremely guilty delight. As we kept our pace, Yukino's hand actually began to get bolder and bolder in its' assault, actively beginning to press against mine. Her face was starting to show the signs of flushing, a small amount of sweat on her forehead very visible. Upon reaching the exit, the curt, cruel wind drew a quiet mumble of complaint from me. The train station isn't that far, and the streets are surprisingly quiet… Giving a quick look around confirmed that no one was nearby, close enough at least. As Yukino kept up her silent assault, I began my own. Her hand pressed against mine 'accident', but rather than keep walking, my own hand shot open, gripping hers.

She let out a slight yelp of surprise, the initial signs of flushing developing into a full out case of embarrassment. She didn't speak one word, however, nor did she look at me. She kept a slightly annoyed, pouting look, face bright red and lips curved into an obviously forced frown. Still, her fingers gingerly locked around mine, and she leaned just a bit closer. As we reached the platform, despite the horribly biting wind, I felt as though I was just emerging from the kotatsu after a nap with Kamakura. Boarding the train, however, turned the heat up further. As for our fellow commuters, there wasn't a soul in sight. The train was completely dead quiet, save for me and Yukinoshita. Even taking a look back to the closing doors, I hadn't realized how dead silent and lonesome we were.

"Hoh, now I truly fear for my chastity, being alone with you."

"You say these things without me even doing anything. Are you trying to drop hints?"

"Truly, you are a despicable person."

I quietly withdrew my hand from Yukinoshita's. For a moment, she seemed as though she wanted to grab it right back, but she looked to me with a forlorn look.

"I'm sorry if that off-"

I cut her off by placing my hand on her head. The look on her face ranged from indignation to confusion and enjoyment.

"H-Hikigaya, I didn't say you could-"

"There there, Yukinoshita. It's all okay."

Standing frozen and stony, I pet her head gently. Moving my fingers through her hair, I played with her locks as I progressed each stroke. Slowly, the Ice Queen of Sobu melted, trembling silently while letting out a few sounds of approval. _Ah, this is too cute...just like Kamakura when he was little._

In near complete silence, we road the train to Yukinoshita's stop, my hand gently petting her head the entire time. She was still bright red and appeared to be in a trance when the train lurched to a stop, the cheery conductor happily announcing our destination. As I retracted my hand, she gave me a 'why did you stop' death glare, but I merely handed her bag to her and pointed at the door. She looked slightly embarrassed, giving out a small 'ah' sound as she rose. I rose with her, walking her to do door - which felt a bit silly - but which I felt compelled to do. She turned just enough to see me, and smiled.

"Thank you for the lovely evening, Hachiman."

"H-Hey, since when are we on a first name basis?"

"Oh, my, that was rather sudden, wasn't it? Perhaps I'll stick with calling you Hikisticka."

"Hachiman is fine, thanks."

Her smile was unusually warm. My own mouth returned it, and I felt...happy.

"Have a nice night. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the word."

Quietly, Yukinoshita Yukino stepped off the train and on to the station platform, giving me a slight wave as the doors closed. The train gave a grunt of energy and slowly pushed forward, carrying me away from her. Part of me wanted to stay there with her. And, truthfully, part of me did. There was a slight pain in my chest as I saw her fade into the distance. If I had it my way, that train ride would have never ended.

* * *

 **References;**

 **[1]** ; The _Metal Gear_ games.


	8. Chapter 8

_Hikki, my boy, what is it you desire?_

As I wearily reclined in my bed, I recalled that question. Those are the words Pan-san spoke to me at Destinyland. Or, rather, those are what the puppet, controlled by Yuigahama, said. At the time, I wasn't sure purely because of the seemingly random nature of the inquiry threw me off balance. I never really reflected on it, never gave it much thought. But, thinking about it now, it's the question I should've been considering the entire time. Yuigahama...is a lovely, sweet girl. She gave me, of all people, her affection, and I took it. But in light of these developments, her extreme jealousy and almost animosity for the other women I associate with...I know deep down that when the time comes, I won't be able to condone it. Yet, at the same time, my own actions have been undoubtedly contributing to her own paranoia. I feel a deep, deep sense of guilt; I can only imagine this is how Yukinoshita felt. Yukinoshita...has all but confessed to me, hasn't she? What occured, alone on that train, was flirting. Open, unabashed flirting. We held hands, I pet her head, voluntarily, no threats required. Could that just be classified as flirting…? No, that was cheating. A deeper wave of soul-clenching guilt washed over my body, and I winced. Yuigahama's suspicions, fears...I was enabling them just as much as I was Yukinoshita. I know this is wrong. I know what I'm doing, how I'm handling the situation, is incorrect, illogical. On an emotionless, logical standpoint; I have a beautiful girlfriend. Why would I risk it all dabbling about with another woman? That is one of the questions I found myself trapped with. Was it just because it was Yukino...? I must ask myself; how do I feel about Yukino Yukinoshita?

She's a beautiful creature, both in appearance and her mind. Almost every conversation I have with her is enough to make my blood feel as though it could combust just from enjoyment. She's witty, educated, surprisingly soft and kind when she wants to be. But, at the same time, she can be cold and callous, even deeply hurtful, all while keeping the same slight smile. She's not a forced to be trifled with. I also have no idea how to handle her. That is not necessarily an insult in the slightest, but it's the truth. She's unlike anyone I've ever spoken with, keeping her past and feelings reserved in a vault of ice and deflection. Although I say this, as I almost lovingly pet her head, she seemed as though she was never more content. Even without outright saying it, I could pick up on her feelings, which given her track record she would never confess. For some reason unbeknownst to me, she had a spot for me in my heart. And now, I had one for her. But the neighbor to that spot was Yuigahama, who was not thrilled about the idea in the slightest.

Yui Yuigahama...I care for her. I do, I really, truly do. She may not be nearly as smart as Yukinoshita, but her warm, caring attitude is true. She actually legitimately cares, not putting it up as a front, not worrying about her image or what other people think. If Yui Yuigahama says something along the lines of "I love you", you can tell without a doubt that she does, no hidden subtext. She, for lack of a better word, less embarrassing word, is genuine. Her feelings are her own, true and strong, and she loves me. To be honest, I love her as well. When I said the phrase to her on the rooftop, it was not a lie, not forced. But now, far too late, do I realize that I also love Yukino. To make things far worse, as though that was possible, I reciprocated her feelings when she attempted to show them to me, drastically taking the car that is my current life by the wheel and spinning it. I am careening towards a wall, as we speak. There's time to stop it, to straighten out the wheels, but I'm not sure how. I don't exactly have many options. I thought back to my older self. A world where no one gets hurt but me...doesn't exist. Even by taking the hurt for myself, the people around me, who care for me, are forced to suffer. But now that the problems are involving them, there's nothing I can do without hurting one or the other. A horribly greedy, sure-fire way to get caught is to keep Yukinoshita as a mistress while still dating Yuigahama. In doing so, I would (potentially) satisfy both of their hearts, but I'm sure the guilt would eat away at Yukinoshita and myself, with Yuigahama eventually finding out and being completely heartbroken. Breaking up with Yuigahama to date Yukinoshita would be the same as shooting her straight in the chest, then watching her tearfully bleed out as she begs for help. It would utterly destroy our relationships, again, the guilt being too much for Yukinoshita or I to carry. Ignoring Yukinoshita's feelings...it's too late to do that, not after what we did together. I'm not charismatic enough for a _True Harem Happy End_ , so that idea is completely out of the question. I am trapped between a rock and a hard place, with no apparent choice in sight to avoid someone being hurt. For but a brief moment, I thought if this was what Hayama must go through. It would explain his single status despite legions of women confessing to him; trying to avoid juggling them all at once by simply never dating to begin with, not outright blaming them. For a microsecond, I found myself feeling sympathetic. Truly dark times when Hikigaya feels sympathy for Hayato.

I tossed in my unrest, staring at the wall.

 _Hikki, my boy, what is it you desire?_

I don't know...no, that's a lie, I know…

 _Hikki, my boy, what is it you desire?_

For neither of them to be hurt.

 _Hikki, my boy, what is it you desire?_

Their happiness. For both of them to have their feelings received and reciprocated, to be with them, love them as they love me...

 _Hikki, my boy, how will you obtain this?_

I don't know, Pan-san. Please, help me.

The panda puppet in my mind's eye merely smiled at me, looking rather mischievous, not unlike a certain underclassman. _Hoh, I knew you weren't going to help me. I bet you'd help Yukinoshita, though, you little rascal._

Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. I loved them both, dearly. I can say that in my own mind without feeling embarrassed. I loved Yukinoshita's beautiful mind, and I loved Yuigahama's tender, true feelings. If I didn't need to choose between them, then I think my eyes would finally revert back to normal from the deep feeling of happiness. But, sadly, life is not a trashy light novel full of super-powered teenagers, and a choice must be made. I sighed, closing my eyes. Mere seconds after performing the sacred act of preparing for rest, my lovably annoying little sister burst through the door.

"Good morning, onii-chan!"

"There's no way it's morning."

"Ah, you're awake? Were you up all night? Also, it's 6am! Time to wake up!"

Exhausted, I sat up. Indeed, the sun was just beginning to shine in the distance. My already squinting eyes closed further.

"I...was up all night…"

"That's no good, onii-chan. What were you doing? I hope it was nothing perverted."

"You're beginning to sound like Yukinoshita. Are you going to threaten to call the cops on me as well?"

"Oh, no, Komachi would never do that. I'll be happy to hide you from the police when you DO commit a crime, though!"

"You'll be waiting a long time for that day…"

Rather than swinging my legs off of the bed, I sort of rolled out of it. I didn't even so much as grunt upon colliding with the floor. Komachi stood over me, her hands on her hips with an annoyed look on her face. Her foot raised, stamping me on my back, and I wriggled under her as I attempted to get up. _H-hey now! This is dangerous! If someone were to come in right now, they'd totally assume this was some sort of fetish scene!_ Her heel began to grind into my lower back, and I tapped the floor rapidly.

"I'm out, I'm out!"

"Onii-chan, you shouldn't stay up all night. You'll end up too tired to go to school, then you'll become a hikikomori NEET. A…"

Her expression began to SHINE, her mouth unnaturally wide with a smile.

"A hikkineet! Bwahah!"

"I'll give you five seconds to get off of me before I rub your hair into a mess."

Komachi complied, leaving the room in the middle of a laughing fit as I lay facedown on the floor. _What's with that giggling? Are you Orimoto? If they ever meet I'm going to kill myself._ Rather than standing, I rolled my way into the restroom. Doing my morning routine, albeit very slowly. As I finally stepped into the kitchen, Komachi urged me to sit. I did so, and she pushed a rather simple breakfast in front of me - rice and egg. The humble dish surprised me, but I took my chopsticks and began working on it regardless. As expected of the younger Hikigaya, the rice was cooked to perfection and the egg had just the right balance of pepper and salt, yet light enough to not offset the taste of the rice. Komachi, you'll seriously make a good wife to someone.

"Nothing elaborate? That's a surprise."

"I was all worn out from yesterday...me and YuiYui saw a movie after you two left for your little date."

Ah, I take it back. You'll make a horrible wife. Your husband will flee in the middle of the night.

"It wasn't a date. We simply took the same train."

"As you held her hand."

"I did no such thing."

"Nothing gets past my special Komachi vision!"

"Don't go giving yourself special abilities!"

Komachi laughed again, taking a portion of food into her mouth. Okay, this. THIS was bad. I wasn't counting on Komachi finding out anytime soon…

"Still, doing that while you're dating YuiYui? That's unexpected."

 _Just how many people know about this?!_

I suddenly found my food hard to swallow, my throat dry. I choked down my own tongue, and carefully asked a question.

"Did Yuigahama see?"

"Oh, no, I don't think so at least. Still, trying to play both sides of the field? That's surprisingly low, even for you."

"Don't remind me, please...I'm trying to think of a way out of this."

"You know, you shouldn't be too considerate for other people's feelings...I know it's a new thing to you and all, but you're bound to hurt people that way too."

"Are you sure you can't read minds, too?"

"It's just my little sister instincts telling me when my onii-chan is troubled."

I averted my gaze from Komachi. I could see she had a slightly worried, compassionate face. Quietly, I ate my egg and rice. The food, once flavorful and warm, seemed tasteless and cold. Guilt ate away at me. I couldn't tell Yuigahama - she'd never forgive me. God knows what she'd do...and I can't hurt Yukinoshita, either.

"There's no way you're going to get out of this without someone being heartbroken, onii-chan."

Komachi spoke to me in a surprisingly soft, mature tone. The matronly voice caught me off guard, and I looked up to her.

"You like both of them, don't you?"

"I…"

"You can't have them both, onii-chan. You need to choose."

"What if I...were to choose neither?"

"Then you'd still be breaking three hearts. You just wouldn't be spitting in the face in the other."

"Three? What do you mean?"

Her smile, still soft, began to weaken.

"You'd be stabbing yourself in the chest alongside the two of them. No matter what you do here, unless they do something miraculous...your relationship with them will change. Who knows? Maybe they're totally on board for a harem ending."

There was a small grin at the end of that sentence. What should have angered me further drew a smile out. Reaching across the table, my hand planted itself firmly on Komachi's head, and I began to pet her. Eyes closing, she let out a small sigh of content.

"You really are a dummy."

"Mhm...a dummy, nincompoop...Hachiman."

Komachi's expression softened further, and she laughed.


	9. Chapter 9

My vision was obscured by my own exhaustion. Wearily, my eyes struggled to gain focus. I looked at the ceiling, or attempted too, as it didn't require me to move any part of my head since it was directly in front of my field of view. This was not my bedroom...nor the classroom. Where was I? Where have I seen these depressingly drab tiles before? Ah...the clubroom? Is it possible that in my sleep-deprived stupor I fell asleep in the clubroom? Hoh, that's not very fitting of a cool, nihilistic guy like me (lol). If I make this a habit, I may need to join the nap club with a cute, borderline narcoleptic girl who carries a fluffy pillow wherever she goes **[1]**. Somewhat embarrassed, I sat up. As my body raised slightly, I found myself unable to go any higher, my wrists refusing to move. Ah. Wait. If I was asleep on a desk, then why am I facing the ceiling, and not the table? I moved my wrist again, feeling something coarse grinding against my skin. Turning my head revealed it to be a leather strap. _Wait. Huh?_ I tugged on it once more, the cow-hide refusing to budge an inch. _W-What's going on here?!_

"Ah, Yukinon, he's awake!"

"It seems I used a bit more than I had intended...at least he slept well."

"Hikki has a cute face when he's asleep~."

"Even if he does snore."

Two silhouettes bent over, looming over me and dominating my vision. I could barely make out their features through the shadows, their head blocking the light, but what I could clearly see were wide, pearly grins. I was starting to sweat, a bead of my anxiety rolling down my my temple. Cautiously, I moved my wrists as I spoke, attempting to break free of the constricting pieces of skin.

"Why am I...tied down...what's going on here? How did I even get here?!"

"Perhaps I did use a bit too much...he can't even recall coming here."

"Jeez, Yukinon, I thought you were good with this stuff."

"I don't make a habit of lacing drinks, thank you."

"What?!"

My eyes focused a bit more, and I could make out Yukinoshita's cold, piercing gaze. I wish I hadn't. Slowly, still with a bright smile, she spoke.

"Don't worry, Hikigaya. We came up with a nice solution to our problem."

"We'll split you 50/50!"

"Hush, Yuigahama. Don't give away the surprise."

"Haaah? What do you mean split? I'm not a timeshare, I'm a person. And, please, undo these straps."

Both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama let out boisterous, dominating laughs. I shrunk down in response, gritting my teeth to stop them from chattering.

"No, Hikigaya. You don't seem to understand what we mean. Yuigahama, if you would."

"Okaaaay~."

Yuigahama moved to the left of my vision, as Yukinoshita stayed firmly over me. I could hear clattering, but despite my best efforts, I could not turn to see what exactly she was doing. Yukinoshita, however, placed a hand on my chest. Her touch was of ice, and I let out a soft sound. There's no clothing covering my chest...skin on skin contact?! Am I naked?! In response to my jumping, Yukinoshita's smile merely grew. It looks unnatural on you, please stop it.

"Don't worry Hikigaya, you're not _entirely_ undressed. Unlike you, I am not a horribly selfish deviant."

"I got it, Yukinon!"

"Good. Please, bring it over."

With a few quick footsteps, Yuigahama came back into my vision. My eyes widened, and my warm blood ran cold, turning into slush, as I saw what she was carrying. Large and silver with a devilishly glinting edge, it was an axe. It was large enough to require two hands, and it looked to be quite weighted. The movement against my restraints grew increasingly frantic. My words balled up in my throat, and I could feel my own panicked expression worsening. Yukinoshita took the axe as Yuigahama lifted it over me for effect, the blade pointed directly for the center of my skull. Hefting it up, Yukinoshita let out a coy chuckle.

"Fufu...no, Hikigaya. When we say 50/50, we more meant that in a literal sense. Perhaps you should...read between the lines?"

"Yukinon, did you want him from the waist up or the waist down?"

"I'll take from the waist up, if that's fine with you, Yuigahama...he'll make a lovely addition to my collection of stuffed animals. Maybe I'll take him with me on my father's boat..."

"Aw...What can I do with a pair of legs?"

"Knowing you, Yuigahama, your attention would be focused to the thing that lies between them."

"H-Hey! That's not true! I don't...think about that at all, really!"

"You're quite a bad liar."

"Geh!"

Even with this, I couldn't speak. I was petrified. This isn't happening. This CANNOT be happening. No, no no. Yuigahama, despite my struggling, took out a permanent marker. With the cap off, slowly, she dotted a line just under my stomach. The entire time, she chuckled with girlish glee, as Yukinoshita clutched the axe. The light bounced off the sharpened edge every time she hefted it back up, at one point blinding me.

"Yuigahama, do hurry. This tool is so...heavy."

"I'm trying, Hikki won't stop squirming!"

"He's restrained. You should have no trouble drawing a straight line."

"He keeps thrusting upwards!"

"I thought you said you weren't concerned with what lay between his legs, Yuigahama?"

"I didn't mean it like that!"

As I struggled more and more, Yuigahama drew closer to completing her line. Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. Hoh, how unsightly I must look. Not like it matters at this rate. Frantically punching up at the air, a faint hope blossomed that I might be able to free at least one arm. The left shackle was beginning to come loose! However, a loud crash snapped me out of my stupor.

"Hachiman!"

"What do you two think you're doing to my student?"

"...!"

"T-Totsuka! Hiratsuka-sensei!"

I could only take their word for it, not being able to sit up. Two more pairs of feet walked into the room, and I could see Yukinoshita freeze. _Please don't drop that now. Please, keep holding onto the axe until you are far away enough that dropping will not injure anyone._

"Yukinoshita, Yuigahama - did I just walk into an attempted murder in progress?"

"H-Hachiman, are you okay?!"

"No, this...isn't what it looks like…"

Yuigahama quivered. Totsuka rushed to my side, clutching one of the restraints with his soft hands. Hoh, his skin is pressed against mine. Are we married now? No, this isn't the time for that.

"We were merely...splitting Hikigaya between us, Hiratsuka-sensei."

"Y-Yeah. That way, we could both have Hikki...he...wouldn't have to choose."

"And you planned to leave us out of it?"

 _Hah?_

Totsuka's grip on the restraint was released. The cuff was tighter than it was before. _N-not you too!_

"So, from the waist? That's no good now. And here, Yukinoshita, give me that axe. Your arms are shaking so much I think they might snap off."

"Yes, sensei…"

Hiratsuka-sensei moved into view. She looked down upon me, eyes locking with mine, as she took the axe. She held it easily, with one hand.

"This is the next best thing to marriage, I suppose...I'll have a nice boyfriend to live with. Well, part of him. Is that okay with you, Hachiman?"

"I'll have part of Hachiman to take with me to Tennis Club...it'll be nice."

"I'll have a little piece of Hikki with me at home! Ah, I hope Sable doesn't get a hold of him…"

"And I'll have Hikigaya at home, too. If it's fine with you all, I'd like the head, please."

"Sure thing~!"

Hiratsuka-sensei hefted the axe up and overhead, and my eyes grew wider. I could hear, alongside my own throbbing heartbeat, a rising crescendo of voices. The other three poured around me, their hands on my arms to hold me still. In unison, almost as if on a metronome, they spoke in an eerily low tone, almost as if whispering.

" _Hachiman. Hachiman. Hachiman. Hachiman. Hachiman. Hachiman!"_

As Hiratsuka-sensei moved her arm forward, I saw the axe fall towards me. I clenched my eyes shut, as hard as I could. In a booming, thunderous sound, I heard her.

"HIKIGAYA!"

I bolted upright, my bag falling off of my desk and my body almost out of my chair. I practically pinned myself to the wall, panting and gasping for air, my eyes still wild and wide, as I looked at Hiratsuka-sensei. Her face, mere moments ago, showed signs of anger, now reduced to anger mixed with confusion and worry. My classmates looked at me in bewilderment as I tried to calm down. _A dream…? I was just dreaming?_ Yuigahama looked at me from across the room, wearing an expression of deep concern. Hiratsuka-sensei cleared her throat, her hand still on my desk as I stayed pinned to the wall.

"Hikigaya, I'd appreciate it if you didn't sleep during my class. If it's fine with you - and it will be - I'd like to see you after class. Mandatory attendance."

"T-that's not really giving me a choice then, is it?"

"Correct~!"

Ah...and now, despite my best wishes, Hiratsuka-sensei gets involved.

* * *

 **References;**

 **[1]** ; _Chūnibyō demo Koi ga Shitai!_


	10. Chapter 10

As Hiratsuka-sensei sat across from me, I felt an uneasy tension. The couch under me, while not exactly comfortable to begin with, felt rock hard and cold. I couldn't bring myself to relax, sitting up as straight as I could. Hiratsuka-sensei herself looked at me, eyes squint and limbs crossed. Her left foot, raised on her right knee, moved around in a distracting manner as she rolled her ankle. What's with this tension? I feel sick. Ah, am I sweating? I must look guilty of a crime.

"So, Hikigaya…"

I froze as she spoke, jumping right back up. If my spine was any straighter, I think I could be used a bubble level.

"Calm down. You're not in trouble...but you might be based on your responses. Why did you fall asleep in class today? It's very much unlike you."

I averted my eyes, instead staring at the bland, uninteresting paintjob the teacher's office had. If I were here, I'd fall asleep in here all the time just from how depressing this place is. Swallowing a small amount of saliva, I answered truthfully.

"I didn't get to sleep a lot last night. I was very tired and I must've dozed off. It's my mistake, and I apologize."

She looked at me with an immensely confused expression, shifting between anger and bafflement.

"What's with that mature, reasonable answer?! Now I KNOW something is wrong with you."

 _Ah?_

"N-No, really! That's all there is too it!"

"You can't lie to me, Hikigaya. It's about the Service Club, isn't it?"

 _Ah?!_

"It's not! I'm just horrible irresponsible when it comes to sleeping!"

"That's a horribly obvious lie. What happened now? What did they do? What did _YOU_ do?"

Her look was stern. I could see her fists starting to clench, even though her arms were crossed. _Ahh, this totally isn't good, is it? If she found out about all this who knows what she might do. She might ask me to marry her on the spot out of jealousy! I'm sorry, but I cannot take you, I don't need more women problems at the moment. Again, maybe Zaimokuza would be willing? You two could totally go to Comiket together!_

"I'm waiting, Hikigaya."

There was a tone of impatience in her voice, and her vision narrowed more.

"I-I was thinking a lot last night. I lost track of time, and I ended up staying up until 6AM."

"Thinking about what? Please, tell me."

"I…"

"If you lie to me, you'll be on the floor so quickly you'll have missed my initial movements."

"Is it really okay to threaten students like that?!"

"It's only a threat if I plan to go through on it. But who knows?"

"I was just...thinking about my relationships, with the people in the Service Club."

"Ah, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama?"

"Yeah...some stuff has been happening."

"Like dating Yuigahama?"

 _HOW._

"How on Eart-"

"I'm a teacher, Hikigaya. Nothing gets past me. I can also tell how quiet Yukinoshita's been lately - and I'm guessing it's your fault."

"Oi, that's a rude assumption."

"But is it an incorrect one?"

"...Not necessarily."

Her legs switched, the left now being used to hold the right up. If she were wearing a skirt, I actually WOULD need to marry her to take responsibility for visually defiling her. _If I was born ten years earlier…_

"So, what did you do?"

With a deep sigh, I closed my eyes. My throat quivered as my mouth opened, but quickly closed back. Even if I don't tell her, she'll find out herself. She's persistent. Knowing her, she'd quickly go to Komachi. My throat felt dry, but I can tell it's perfectly moist. Slowly, seemingly automatically, I explained my situation to Hiratsuka-sensei. Briefly, I opened my eyes to look. Her expression was soft as she listened to me, a slight frown attached to her face. I shut them once more, and drew the explanation to a close.

"I see...you really are in quite a pickle, Hikigaya...even though you placed yourself in brine."

"It's true. But, what do I do?"

"Why are you asking me? This is something I can't exactly give you advice on, not even as a counselor. This is something YOU need to deal with."

"...Not even a hint?"

"Be open with them."

"Huh?"

"Don't keep all of this to yourself. This is as much about them as it is about you. Leaving them out of it is selfish. That's all of the hints you're going to get."

I soaked in her words like a sponge. So far, everything I've been considering has only been things I can do myself. Is she right? Should I get them involved? How will they react? Yuigahama...might be difficult to control. Yukinoshita has probably been thinking about it just as hard as I have. Hiratsuka-sensei leaned forward, pressing her hand onto my shoulder, giving me a small smile. I looked to her hand, then to her face. That soft, matronly look, soft lips, half-closed eyes...I found myself blushing.

"It's okay, Hikigaya. You're young. You can make mistakes. This time now...isn't everything. I'll be here for you, if you need anything. As your teacher, counselor, and...acquaintance."

"H-Hiratsuka-sensei…"

"Don't talk. You have things to do, don't you? Go on, get outta here."

She urged me up, standing up herself. I could still feel myself blushing as I stood up, standing in front of her. She kept her smile, then stepped aside, arm raising towards the door.

"Good luck. I'm sure that you of all people can work things out with them."

"You give me too much credit. A lot of what I do is dumb luck."

"f I give you too much credit, you give yourself too little. I wonder who gives you just the right amount?"

She chuckled quietly, then pat me on my back. Slowly, I moved towards the exit.

It's only a quarter of the way through the lunch period, and she saw me leave with Hiratsuka-sensei; which means it's time for me to meet up with her. Yuigahama is waiting.


	11. Chapter 11

As I stepped through the halls, I hugged the walls to avoid the people coming by. Hiratsuka-sensei's words stuck with me, the suggestion to work together with both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita to resolve this conflict. It was a dangerous plan. It was a foolish plan. But, when dealing with emotions, such things may be the only option I can take. My legs carried me closer and closer to the rooftop, and my pace slowed. I was nervous, sweating a bit despite carrying an already relaxed speed on the way here. Yuigahama wasn't going to hurt me. She wouldn't hurt me. Why was I so afraid? Because I didn't want to hurt her feelings? Hurt _her_? It's a bit late for that. The realization drew a grimace, but it could only be directed to myself. Slowly, I stepped up the stairs, and opened the door.

Quietly sitting on the bench was Yuigahama, idly kicking her legs while looking at her phone. When she saw me, her face lit up considerably and she stepped up, jogging towards me. Sadly, however, on her third step, she tripped. She collided with the ground, and I myself ran over to her.

"Y-Yuigahama, are you alright?"

"Ahhh...owowowowow...I'm fine, Hikki. Thanks…"

"Here, let me help you up."

"N-No, I'm fine, really!"

"Just give me your hand."

"Eh?! Aren't we a little too young to get married?"

"...While you certainly ARE fine, that won't stop me helping you up."

I gripped her wrist gently, and her fingers wrapped around mine. Slowly, I pulled upwards, and she rose with my help. Her forehead was red and her eyes had a faint ring of tears pooling towards the bottom, but besides that she seemed fine. Her hand, however, kept squeezing me, a small look of bliss forming on her face.

"Sorry...I got so excited I lost my footing...are you okay, Hikki? You looked so scared in class…"

"Yeah...just had a bit of a nightmare. It's my fault for falling asleep to begin with. I'm fine; thank you for asking.."

"Ohh, that's scary...what was it about?"

"That's...not important."

"Come on, I wanna know!"

I seized the chance to do something right by Yuigahama, as well as steer the conversation away from that horrible _BAD END_ dream. Leaning in as she pouted, I moved the hair from her forehead and kissed the red spot. As I pulled back, I could tell that more than just her cheeks were flushed. She stammered and whimpered as she was bright red, lip quivering awkwardly as she made sounds of confusion. Yes, this tactic was despicable and crude, but it worked wonders. Yuigahama was completely disarmed. Her hand balled into a gentle fist, which pounded softly against my shoulder. I could practically see the steam coming off of her ears.

"H-Hey! What was that for?! Y-Y-You can't just go and do that to a person!"

"Hoh? Why not? You seemed to enjoy it quite a bit, what with the cute reaction and all, Yui."

"E-Even if you call me by my name AND call me cute, that doesn't excuse it!"

"Then, what can I do to make you forgive me, Queen Yuigahama?"

"G-Geh! Ahh...uhm..."

She paused, the pouting expression devolving into one of deep thought. Her eyes darted around as she thought, mouth slightly agape. Her lips glistened sweetly with the faintest film of saliva, which she quickly licked away. She kneeled down just a bit, her eyes coming into contact with mine as they were focusing on her lips. Her face was redder than ever. She stepped forward, still at that slightly hunched angle, before straightening up. Her face was close to mine, dangerously so. I could smell her shampoo, which, appropriately enough, had a faint hint of strawberry. I found myself blushing as she leaned in closer and closer. I wanted to move. I wanted to say something. Instead, I stayed perfectly still as her arms wrapped around me in a gentle embrace, her lips pressing against mine. Her eyes were closed as she did so; it would only be right for me to do the same. My own hands wrapped around her waist, and I squeezed her, causing her to jolt. She didn't pull away. Guilt was gnawing away at me, but compared to the sensation of Yuigahama's lips against mine, it felt like nothing more than a mosquito bite. They tasted of cherry. _She's a regular ol' fruit basket._ As she pulled away from me, she gave me a slight, worried smile.

"T-There! Now we're even."

"Really? I think things are way heavier on your end of the scales now…"

"Shush! Besides, I had to step it up after what…happened with you and…"

She froze up, a frown returning to her face as she grasped at the ribbon her chest, which she fiddled with awkwardly. The mosquito bite became a bleeding, oozing sore, and I flinched.

"I'm going to beat Yukinon, Hikki...I'm going to beat her. I'm not mad at you, or her...she's just...my rival, you know? And I...probably scared you, didn't I?"

Her voice was soft, and shaking. I could see the tears welling back up in her eyes as she shivered. Each word was said carefully to avoid breaking out into a sob. As I opened my mouth to speak, she raised a hand, stopping me. If a strong breeze were to come by now, it'd carry her away…

"B-but, it's okay...I love you, Hikki, and...I want you to be happy. I really, really want you to be happy! Even if...even if...it's with someone else…"

"Yuigahama…"

"Don't, please...you've been worried about this, haven't you? That's fine...y-you're considering my feelings, and I appreciate that...but...that's how I feel about all of this. I love you so much that just saying this _hurts_...but I want you to know...okay?"

Her face was an unbearable sight of pain, anguish. My hand reached out to touch hers, and she took it. She clenched it tightly, bringing it up to her chest. In a less dire situation, this would be considered dirty, but at the moment…

"I'm not going to hold you to anything...do anything...but...even if I lose to Yukinon, I love you, Hikki."

I was wrong about Yuigahama. I was horribly, horribly wrong about her. Had I overreacted? Had she? I'm not sure. It doesn't matter. She was shaking, terrified and hurt, and it's my fault. Just saying those words, practically encouraging me to leave her if it brought me happiness, cut her deep. And I was the one who hand her the knife. Awful doesn't even begin to describe me…

I held her hand as she wiped the tears from her eyes with her free sleeve. Slowly, she looked up to me with a smile.

"I-It's time to go back, Hikki...you'll be at the club, right?"

"Of course I will."

"I'm glad...c-can we go together?"

"Again, of course."

The smile widened. Her eyes still had hurt in them. I can only hope they don't become rotten like mine...

* * *

I clutched my phone as I watched Yuigahama and Hikigaya leave the rooftop. It was horribly uncouth of me to stay here like this, watching such a tender moment between the two, but I needed to see Yuigahama in action. Needed to see what she had, what I lacked. I wanted to call Hikigaya, to spoil the entire thing, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bring myself to be so... _vile._ I never want to be an interloper like nee-san, but watching _him_ with _her_ was driving me insane. But, it's okay, right? I all but have her blessing, yes? No guilt. No self-loathing. Nothing to stand in my way. All I need to do...is win over the loner's heart. Soon enough, they'll both be with me in the clubroom. From there...I can begin my advancing. Forgive me, Yuigahama. I'm a terrible friend.

* * *

 **Thank you all very much for the continued support. Really, it means a lot to me when I come home from work to see a bunch of reviews and private messages. I appreciate it all a great deal. Heck, seeing other authors, whose stories I enjoy a great deal, mentioning reading my work? I almost melt. Once again, thank you all for reading.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

As we slowly walked down the halls together, I thought about the situation. Yuigahama's tearful resolution, Yukinoshita's slightly aggressive behavior, and my complete lack of understanding. She kept close to me, although she was very slightly ahead, just enough that I couldn't see her face. That thought alone brought me the most hurt; knowing that I had caused it. I made a self-loathing, bitter expression as we walked. It felt far more natural this way. However, when Yuigahama stopped, I was forced to do the same. Jogging towards us in a rather brisk form was Totsuka, waving happily. His small silver bangs bounced as he moved, and I found myself smiling on instinct. _Hoh, if you slow down time and add a few sparkly effects, this would make a really good scene in some trashy harem show, you know?_ Yuigahama spoke up first, her voice sounding as if it would break, but she quickly resolved it, putting up a facade of being alright. The smallest amount of pain shot through me, numbed by Totsuka.

"A-Ah, Totsuka! Yahallo!"

"Yeah, yo! How're you two doing? Going back to class together?"

"Yeah. You're welcome to tag along, if you want."

"I'd love too!"

Smiling, the fair-skinned boy took his place by the side that wasn't occupied by Yuigahama. Oh, most joyous life of mine, I thank the Gods responsible for thee. He had the faintest odor of sweat, but it wasn't at all unpleasant. Ah, if this keeps up, I might end up the protagonist of some some BL doujin. Knowing Ebina, though, it may already be too late.

"You know, there was a point where I thought I'd never see you two out together like this."

Both Yuigahama and I turned to Totsuka, who was wearing a soft smile.

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"Well...I think Hachiman's changed a lot."

"Ah? Me?"

"Yeah! Before you used to be all...super cynical, kind of distant...but now you seem a lot nicer? It's really hard to describe. Something about you though is different. I don't think you'd ever walk with Yuigahama back to class, or anything like that."

"Haanh...that so?"

I awkwardly rubbed the back of my head as he praised me. Maybe I became more socially adjusted in my time with Yuigahama? I hope not. I don't want to end up as one of those super normal people (lol) like Hayama's clique (lol) who just worry about girls and their hair all day (lol). Ah, but aren't I already doing the former? I'm a laughing stock amongst loners! I need to start taking daily injections of cynicism, stat, or else my eyes might ripen and someone will call me handsome, or I'll accidentally bump into an underclassman running to school late with a piece of toast in their mouth! A horrible fate indeed.

"But, you're still you! I didn't mean the change was bad or anything."

"No, if you hadn't pointed it out, I probably would've never have noticed…"

"Hikki really has become a bit different, huh? Like falling asleep in class."

Yuigahama's hand pinched my cheek, which caught me off guard. When she tugged on it, Totsuka gave a quiet laugh, as if trying to repress a larger one. _Yuigahama, please, don't make me blush in front of humanity's apex in terms of cute. I'll die. I'll throw myself into the fires of Mount Doom in ritualistic sacrifice, so please stop._ As we neared the classroom, Totsuka sped up his steps, reaching the door before us. When I expected him to go in without us, he instead waited by the entrance happily, rocking on his heels. _Hnngh. Be still, my throbbing heart._ As the door slid open, our trio walked in together. I, of course, bringing up the rear; I wouldn't be me if I wasn't dead last in everything save for schoolwork. As I stepped inside, however, Yuigahama turned to me, giving me the faintest hint of a worried, willful smile. I tried my hardest to return it, to give her some manner of comfort; but like most things, I failed, giving her a nod instead.

Class progressed, the teacher spoke, and my hand quickly took down notes on the subjects. _Uh, hey, not to interrupt, but anybody else notice time speeding up? Is this my power? Fast forward?! What a rip. I want to slow time to get enough sleep, not progress it rapidly. Boooooo._ Class came to a screeching halt as the teacher rapidly attempted to wrap things up, despite most students already packing to leave. As I rose from the my own seat, I looked over to Yuigahama, who was still talking with her friends. Rather than leave the classroom and stand around the corner, I merely leaned back against my desk, waiting for her to wrap up. She noticed this, however, and I could practically see the gleam in her eyes from across the room. I couldn't make out the exact things she said, but her mouth exploded in a flurry of goodbyes as Miura looked extremely confused, trying to process what she said. Yuigahama by my side, we headed towards the door.

"You actually waited...Totsuka's right, you did change!"

"No, I didn't. I'm still good ol' rotten eyed Hikigaya Hachiman. You just wanted to walk together, so…"

"Yeah, but before you'd just stand around the corner and wait. Even if you say you didn't, you did."

"Are you saying I should undo whatever I allegedly changed? I still don't know what it is…"

"No, no. I like it. It feels like...you care, you know?"

I let out a soft sigh, cheeks flushed. Man, getting praised by a girl and Totsuka in the same day? This is too much. I feel like I should make a Twitter post saying 'My youth begins now!'.

Yuigahama pressed herself closer to me, taking one of my hands with hers. Urk. As I looked over to her, she smiled, and I could feel her fingers lightly clenching around mine. _Were this a few months ago, I think I'd be on the floor frothing at the mouth from embarrassment. No, this is still super embarrassing, what the heck! Auuugh!_ Pulling me along, we headed towards the building that housed the clubroom. Her dedication to go to the place that she should be avoiding at all costs is startling.

"Hey, Yuigahama...are you sure you want to go to the club today?"

"No, not really. I'm honestly a little...afraid."

"Then why are you going…?"

"W-Well I can't just leave you and Yukinon alone in the room together, dummy! Besides...if I have you with me, it...doesn't seem that bad, y'know?"

She slowed down just enough to look back at me, a warm smile painted on her face. If I get hit with any more heart shocks, I may need a paramedic. The Clubroom came into sight, and the slight jog became a slow walk. Her hand still wriggled nervously in mine, and I averted my rotten eyes if only to hide my flushing. _I changed, huh? Well, I hope it's nothing too serious. I don't want people to get the idea that I'm some sort of super cool guy. That'd be bothersome, you know? Having a bunch of underclassman come flirt with me when I just want to be left alone. Having guys greet me like I've known them all their life when I just want to get a coffee. Having older women asking me if I have a girlfriend then asking if I'd like to go out on a date when all I want is to buy a book. Eugh. I couldn't handle being handsome._ Yuigahama reached for the handle and opened it gently, releasing the grip on my hand at the last second.

"Yukinon, yahallo!"

"Y-Yo."

"Yuigahama, Hikigaya, good afternoon."

Stepping inside, I closed the door behind me. As I turned, I could see Yukino smiling at me. It was unnerving. Time to see where Yukinoshita wishes to take this.

* * *

 **Sorry for the lack of longer chapters. Working 9 hours overnight 5 nights a week drains most of my ability to do anything substantial in a short amount of time. I try to balance it out, so please, forgive me.**


	13. Chapter 13

I made my way to my seat, located on the far left side of the table, on the end of it. Directly opposite to me was Yukinoshita, who still the unnaturally soft smile plastered on her face, expression seemingly frozen in the matronly gaze. Her breathing was so subtle that I couldn't even register her chest rising or falling as each small amount of oxygen was either bought into her lungs, or exhaled. It was more than slightly nerve racking. What was she looking at me like that for?! Had I done something bad? The last time I had seen her lips ever-so-slightly, it was a sad smile of resignation as I continued to use my destructive methods. But I hadn't done anything this time. That is, unless, she was thinking about what to do with Yuigahama. Glancing to her, I could see she was restless, legs moving as her hands gripped the hem of her skirt. She made quick, shooting looks between me and Yukinoshita, and occasionally, I could see her lower lip open as though she were about to speak. On each occasion, however, she closed her mouth and cast her eyes downwards, repeating the cycle of fidgeting. What's with this tension? Even the icebreaker is frozen…

"Hikigaya."

I shot upright, needlessly correcting my posture as though I was called on by a teacher.

"A-Ah, yes?"

"I'd like to thank you for the lovely time I had yesterday. The same goes to you, Yuigahama."

Yukinoshita spoke to me, but her eyes were cast in Yuigahama's general direction. Staring, transfixed. I felt a bit of a chill. Yuigahama looked to Yukinoshita, and she too noticed the glare. She gave a faux smile and averted her eyes, chuckling quietly. And nervously.

"Ah, haha...no, no, I'm glad you had so much fun with us...even if Hikki smelt all gross."

"I said I had been running, give me a break. First I'm too lazy, then I work too hard…"

"I think Hikigaya smelt just fine. Not particularly odoriferous, unpleasant by any means."

"T-That's a weird way of praising someone, Yukinon…"

"It's merely the same as complimenting someone's perfume, Yuigahama."

"Ahh, that so?"

I replied in a disinterested tone. _Seriously, what the Heck? 'Oh, you smell so good'! Talk about an easy way to end up behind bars. And I'm the alleged criminal, here? Someone bribed the jury, I tell you._ Yukinoshita, however, merely leaned over slightly, resting her cheek on her hand, a bit of her hair falling down over her face. This is very out of character for the normally diligent Yukinoshita. The stern Yukinoshita. The perfect posture Yukinoshita. I could feel a few of my hairs stand on end.

"S-So, Yukinon! How was class today?"

 _Gods bless you, Yuigahama._

"Entirely fine. I spent most of it deep in thought. Mostly reflecting on yesterday."

The words _'on yesterday'_ stuck to the forefront of my mind. I could feel myself starting to sweat a bit. The blatant flirting. The head petting. All of that. That was the only thing she could possible be focusing on. I quickly licked my lips in an attempt to moisten them, but found it difficult. I was dry. The tea in front of me should have cooled by this point. Taking it into my hands, I quietly blew on it, my eyes closed. _I spent most of it deep in thought. Mostly reflecting on yesterday. I spent most of it deep in thought. Mostly reflecting on yesterday. I spent most of it deep in thought. Mostly reflecting on yesterday._ I cringed. I popped an eye open slowly, Yuigahama and Yukinoshita both looking at me in wonder.

"H-Hikki, I'm sure the tea is cool by now. If you blow on it that much, it might get cold!"

"Yes, Hikigaya. I am _well_ aware of your so called 'cat's tongue', but this is excessive."

"Ah, sorry...I just got a bit carried away, you know? I like my drinks cold anyway."

 _What was with that emphasis on 'well'?!_ The look on Yuigahama's face stiffened, and she winced. I took a sip from the cup. It was warm, but not unbearably so. The drink tasted miraculously bitter. I loved it. Gently, I placed the Pan-san mug back onto the table. I stiffened up a bit before I leaned down, reaching for my bag. I pulled out my book, a paperback whose name eludes me, and I began reading. Things were getting particularly good, this I remember. The main character and his preacher had finally managed to bring back a woman from the dead, even though she was still physically dead. Her eyes moved, and her mouth opened. As the preacher spoke to her about what she saw, she uttered a singular, haunting phrase. _'No death, no light, no rest.'_ _ **[1].**_ _Hanh...even with something like this, I can't find myself unsettled from literature when I'm more worried about what the two living beings in the room with me are going to do next. 'No death, no light, no rest'. Certainly, I had not rested, but so far no one had died and it was still light out. Wait, what do I mean 'so far'? No one is GOING to, as a result from this at least. Ahh, but I'm merely putting blinders on to avoid the problem, another unusual thing in the already unique day. What am I to do with Yukinoshita?_

"I'd like it if we could go out like that again sometime, Hikigaya, Yuigahama; if that's fine with you."

In my thought, I hadn't noticed Yukinoshita. She was sitting up, back straight once more as spoke softly.

"I'd rather not. Crowds around this time are terrible."

"That's why she said 'sometime', Hikki. I would love to go."

"Yes, Hikigaya, do come out of that shell. Hermit crabs need to change, eventually."

"Hermit crabs move from shell to shell when the time comes, and they do it very quickly at that. I doubt you'd ever catch me mid-way to a new one."

"Then I guess I'll just have to keep a _very close_ on you you, Hikicrabba."

"Geh. I thought I asked you to stop comparing me to wildlife, anyway."

"You also asked me to stop comparing you to bacteria. Please, one at a time."

"H-Hehe...you two are funny…"

Yuigahama laughed nervously, and I once again glanced down at my book. I wasn't reading it anymore. My eyes scanned the pages fruitlessly to make the illusion of reading, and I'd turn the page, but that's it. Yukinoshita was behaving strangely. Yuigahama was terrified, and I was too much of a coward to up what happened yesterday with her in front of Yuigahama, even though she knew full and well what had transpired, a fact that still makes my own skin crawl. Scummy. But, at the same time...would talking with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama about this really make it better? I myself am the one who said that there are certain things which cannot be resolved through mere talking. _Self-gratifying on the part of the speaker, and conceited on the part of the listener._ Source; me. What was I hoping to gain from speaking with them both about this, other than penance? It would hurt them both, and myself. Was it supposed to make me feel better? To expose my wrong doings, my follies, and openly admit them? I can do that, I can do that easily, but this isn't about that at all. That really is just self-gratification, knowing that I "did the right thing". _You won't always come to an understanding by talking things out_. The source, once again, being me.

I was back at square one, the plan I had constructed being broken apart by my own musings and thoughts. I recalled that dark, dark day, where those words were first uttered. As I bore my weakly pulsing heart, voice hoarse and tears welling in my eyes, the look of absolute shock and amazement worn by Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. _I want to understand._ I still do. I want to understand Yukinoshita's feelings, and Yuigahama's, no matter how self-indulgent it sounds. No matter what I find, no matter how it hurts me, I want to understand.

' _I'm sure we can understand it better by talking to one another. That probably won't be enough, though…"_

 _Yuigahama…_

No. Now is not the right time for this. To drag out all this emotional strife into the light at once, with no understanding, no context, it'd be a disaster. A bomb ready to blow. _I need to talk to them. I need to bring this all out. I want to understand. I_ _need_ _to understand._ I could feel my knuckles going white as I clenched the book, my teeth starting to grit slightly. This was foolish. This was a foolish, idealistic plan that would never work. Life isn't a second-hand manga picked out of a bargain bin long after the series has concluded. You can't take such drastic steps and have blind faith it would all work out. What's wrong with me? When did I begin thinking with such arrogance? Such _faith_ in my own plans, this sense that nothing would go wrong? It's disgusting. I'm a monster of logic, trying to dabble in the world of the illogical. Making illogical choices in the world of the illogical is fine, but this was a step beyond illogical and into the realm of blatant disaster. Rather than bridging the hole in the ground through careful planning and consideration I was about to run right into it. Dummy. Nincompoop.

"Hachiman."

Yes, thank you Komachi. It describes it perfectly.

"Hikki!"

"Ah?"

I looked up from my book, Yukinoshita looking annoyed and Yuigahama looking concerned.

"We've been talking to you for five minutes! Yukinon even called you by your first name...which is kind of rude!"

"Not as rude as blatantly ignoring being spoken to by your peers."

"Ah, sorry...I was thinking about something. And since when are we peers?"

"Hoh, true. Acquaintances? No, betters? Commanders."

"Why is Yuigahama in a higher chain of command than I am?"

"Because I'm the best!"

"...Yes, let's go with that."

"Ah?!"

I gave a slight smile, my brain being freed from my thoughts but for a moment. Yukinoshita stood up, and turned her body toward the window. The sun was beginning to set out in the distance, and I hadn't even noticed.

"I think we should begin to close up for the day, don't you? Time really does have a way of slipping by without noticing…"

"Yeah, really! It felt like we just got here!"

"Well...they say time flies when you're having fun."

"Hoh? Does that mean you're admitting to enjoying our company, Hikigaya?"

"If you recall, I was reading."

"Hikki, that's mean!"

As things wrapped up, we exchanged our goodbyes, and I began to slow walk to my bicycle. Mounting it, I began to pedal home. In the endless expanse of my mind, I thought about the action I would take. _A plan. THE plan. Talk to Yukinoshita privately. Talk to Yuigahama privately. Gather information. Try to understand it. Then bring it all together. You'll be fine, Hikigaya. You've done worse successfully._

* * *

 ** _Ah! I was caught up in sleeping! I'm late!  
_**

* * *

 ** _References;_**

 ** _[1]_** _;_ A lift from the Stephen King novel _Revival_. Guess what I spent most of the night chewing through.


	14. Chapter 14

Before I could even say I was halfway to my home, my phone made an annoying buzzing sound associated with mail. Tentatively, I remembered the fiasco with Yuigahama's mail, one of the things that had initially started this mess. It was only two days ago, yet it feels longer. All of this feels like it's been dragged out over the course of a week, kicking and screaming, possibly dragging its' feet. With an exasperated sigh, I stopped pedaling, taking my phone out of my bag. Surprisingly, the message was not from Yuigahama. In hindsight, I wish it was. The name in the field was one I associated with intelligence and grace. More recently, it was one I also happened to associate with nervousness. Yukinoshita Yukino. The contents of the message? An address. Not far from here, either, if memory serves correctly. A cafe, a small little place, often passed by. I think most people assume it to be closed from how little business it has, which is a shame yet a blessing.

 _Come here. I'm already waiting. Attendance is mandatory, Hikigaya._

Lovely. If she's already waiting, I can't lie. I grit my teeth, annoyed, and begin typing a response.

 _And Yuigahama?_

Almost immediately, a reply.

 _Isn't here, doesn't have to know. I'm waiting._

"Scary…"

I resumed my pedaling. This time, however, I began in the direction of my new destination. The cafe; and inside of it, Yukinoshita. The sudden request to meet was a bit jarring and out of character for her, but it worked to my advantage, in some ways. I needed to speak to her anyway, didn't I? This was a good thing. But something bugged me. This wasn't like her, as I mentioned previously. She doesn't suddenly spring plans onto people; she herself hates that when it happens to her, and Yukinoshita isn't the type to do what she dislikes to others. To be fair, both of them have been acting strange. Yuigahama did a complete 180, Yukinoshita seeming more...at ease. And, allegedly, me becoming softer. My armor rusting, revealing the soft, vulnerable and scar-ridden flesh beneath. I don't like that. I don't like any of this. But choices were made, by me, by all of us. We must see them through. Slowing my pedaling and striding to a stop, I parked my bike on the side of the building. As I rounded the corner, I stood before the arranged meeting spot. Inside, I could see Yukinoshita quietly sipping from a cup. With all the reflexes of her favorite animal, as I made a single movement her eyes locked onto me. _Scaaaary._ The door opened easily, the hinges making a creaky howl as the door itself moved a bell. The waitress wearily looked up, attempting to perk up.

"Oh, my. Another customer? This is going to be a busy night…please, take a seat."

"Ah...I'm, uh...with the girl, over there."

"Oh. _Ohhh._ I see. In the meantime...coffee?"

"Water, please."

"Right away!"

My hands dug into my pockets as I pressed onwards towards the booth. The entire time Yukinoshita's eyes were upon me, the soft smile and somewhat distant look stuck on her face. I didn't flinch; I think.

"Yo."

"Hikigaya, you actually arrived in quite a timely fashion. That's surprising. Please, take a seat."

Ignoring the backhanded praise, I took the seat opposite her. The waitress quickly rushed over, giving me my glass. Three ice cubes and crystal clear liquid. As she left, however, I could see the sneaky thumbs up she shot me. _This isn't like that._

"So, what's the problem?"

"Problem? Whatever do you mean?"

"Why did you call me here, then?"

"Is it so wrong to desire the company of one's partner?"

"Partner…? In what? I already said I'm not committing a crime."

"The one who always reads between the lines truly cannot take things at face value. It's no matter. Yuigahama?"

"Huh?"

"How is Yuigahama? Did you handle her?"

"Ah...yeah, kind of...I guess."

"Your hesitation is noted but the result is the same; that's good. She seemed fine, today. You must've done a spectacular job with the break up. Perhaps you're better with people than you thought."

"Woah, break up? What break up? That didn't happen. We just talked about her acting all... _creepy_."

"I know. Don't worry."

"...What do you mean 'you know'?"

"Irrelevant."

"That's very relevant."

"It isn't. Would you like something to eat, Hikigaya?"

"I'm not very hungry...more tired than anything, really. I just want to go to sleep."

"There will be plenty of time for that. Until then, I believe you and I have many things to attend too."

"Like? I still don't know why I'm here."

Silently, her hand slid over the table. It stopped just shy of mine.

"Taking responsibility for the unending fluttering in my heart that you started the night previous."

There wasn't a hint of warmth in that voice. Her expression was the same. Slightly open eyes and a smile. There was a faint blush on her face, deepening as I stared at her in amazement. Her index finger reached out slightly, and brushed against mine. I retracted my hand, and averted my eyes.

"You know I can't do that."

"And why not? As I seem to recall, Yuigahama wants you to be happy."

"How could you possibly know that?"

Her smile grew wicked. Her eyes sharpened. And her voice had the chill of a snowstorm. I could see clouds forming outside, behind her, and I winced. _Mother Nature, come on. Don't read the mood so hard._

"It's obvious, isn't it? Hikigaya, please, use some of that intellect you claim to have for something other than wondering how to not break a lady's heart."

"The only way you could even know she said that was to be there yourself."

I tensed. It felt like an icy breeze rode my neck down to my spine.

"Or I could have guessed those words and you merely confirmed them right now. It's not uncommon for a couple to wish for the other's happiness."

"Those were too specific. Way too specific for comfort."

"Then I guess that only leaves one option then, doesn't it? The kiss was particularly sweet. Although I could feel my heart stop briefly."

I nearly stood up, hands on the table. The silverware provided clattered, and I quickly looked to the waitress. She looked shocked. I settled back down, beginning to shake as the temperature in the room started to shift sharply downwards. Trembling, I took a sip of the water provided for me. Yukinoshita's hand began to curve into a slight claw, her nails on the table. Her words dropped to a whisper, and her gaze was cast downward. I couldn't make it out too well, but her expression appeared to be of anger.

"Even after speaking with her, she thinks she can just talk her way out of it…"

"What do you mean 'speaking with her'? When was this?"

By the time her eyes shot back up to me, it was too late to register the fire in her irises.

"Mere hours after we departed from each other's company. About what you did. What _I_ did. What we, together, did. About how you were concerned to be around her. Scared of her. How her actions were pushing you away. The immense guilt I, and undoubtedly you, were carrying. I spoke it all to her. I couldn't wait, hold it inside of me. It was driving me mad. We were supposed to meet on the roof today...but you showed up. You two spoke. She knew I was there, I could see her glancing at me, almost mockingly...and then she...you two…"

Her nails dragged across the countertop.. The fire was rising rapidly.

"The _audacity_ of that action. The _implications_ it had. She smiled to me just before you both descended, you know. It infuriated me. I wanted to step in. Do something. But that would just make things worse. That... _kiss_ was done purely to spite me. I know this, I can feel it in my bones. She…"

Yukino Yukinoshita was not herself. This was not the girl I had known for months. This is not the girl I had worked with, against, and for. It is in the same way that Yui Yuigahama was not _herself_ mere days ago. This was a side of her I wish I had never discovered. The side that hid itself beneath apparent apathy and sarcasm. Beneath cold, calculated responses and restricted feelings. Pure, unbridled emotion. Her once colorful, vast vocabulary reduced only to words of fury and loathing. Her resigned expression now barely holding back blatant outrage. My own expression was one of unease. I wanted to leave. The fire in her eyes began to quickly die down, and her free hand covered her mouth. On the table's surface, scratch marks were beginning to dig into the wood.

"I'm...sorry, Hikigaya. I suppose I lost myself there for a bit."

She cleared her throat, improving her posture as she did so. She once again sat firmly, sitting upright, an aura of complete domination once again eminating form her. She was still shaking, one arm reaching up to rub the other. I was petrified.

"You told Yuigahama everything...without consulting me?"

"I'm sorry."

"I felt terrible about it too, but I didn't tell her it all over a phone…"

"I'm sorry."

"What would happen if things went absolutely awfully?"

"I'm sorry."

"Please, stop apologizing…"

"I'm sorry."

"Yukinoshita."

"I'm-...right…"

The thick air of awkwardness and suspense was starting to choke me. She wasn't looking at me anymore, still gently rubbing her arm. I couldn't find proper words to speak, instead sipping my water.

"It was selfish of me, wasn't it?"

"Eh?"

"To say those things to her...it was selfish."

"No, you were just being honest...a Hell of a lot quicker than I was."

"You really don't lead between the lines anymore, do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She gave me a weak smile.

"I still never helped you with that request, you know."

"And I still don't know what you mean. It's done. Has been, for awhile."

"Hikigaya, honestly…"

Yukinoshita's smile only grew warmer. At least some part of herself was returning. I felt my shoulders beginning to relax, no longer tense from feelings of panic rising in my breast.

"Would you like a hint? I think it's been more than enough time…"

"Ah, no, that's fine. I'm not a hint kind of person."

"If you insist. But, truly, give it some thought. You said four very specific words to us."

"I said no hints."

"That's not a hint. Don't worry."

There was a flash of light from behind Yukinoshita. Lightning is starting to roll in. That's bad.

"Hey... it looks like a snowstorm is coming. Can we call this a night? I don't want to get snowed in."

"I suppose it IS getting late enough, isn't it? Very well. Help me up."

"Your legs are fine. We're not in our sixties.

"Please, use that mind of yours…"

Grumbling, I stood up and made my way around to her side of the booth. With a smile, she gave me her hand. All she needs is to say _"Charmed, I'm sure"_ and then this scene will be complete. As I took hers in mine, there was another flash of light. Squeezing her hand, I gave a light tugging, prompting her up. She was warm. Her legs slowly stepped out of the booth as she stood upright, and she kept her smile, her hand clenching mine a bit harder.

"...You're up, you know."

"Yes, I am, thanks to you."

"Which means that...you can let go."

"You're the one who's holding onto me."

Another burst of light. This time Yukinoshita herself jumped. _Hissssss._ Her hand fell away from mine and she straightened her clothes, leaving a small banknote on the table to pay for her drink. I hope there's a tip in there.

"Shall we go?"

"Don't you want to leave separately? We always do that."

"I...think it's fine if we go together, just for a little bit."

"Ahh...that so?"

Flash. Yukinoshita tensed up. _Oh. Afraid of lightning?_

"Yeah. Yeah, we can go together. Come on."

"R-Right...thank you, Hiki-"

"Don't mention it, really."

As we left, I prepared myself for dire, biting cold and high winds. Yet, for as cloudy as the sky was, there was no sign of electricity in the air. It was still, and deathly quiet.

* * *

As I made my way away from those two at that cafe, I felt bitter. It's not like me to feel bitter. Why was Yukinon still there? I thought I taught her a lesson. Showed her I wouldn't be stopped. Kissed him right in front of her; if I had a video of her face I could probably show you the exact moment when her heart started to crack. So why was she here still? _Why?_ Holding his hand in a public place like that? Like it's nothing? But I have proof. I have proof of this event. I should have turned off the flash, though…but it's fine. It's fine. Hikki still loves me. He does. And if he doesn't, well...I learned enough about tying knots to know how to make them strong enough. I'll change his mind. And then we can stay together. Forever. Until the sun blows up. Ahh, my room is a mess, though, I should clean it before bringing him inside...

* * *

Moving with Hikigaya felt correct. It felt _right_ , for lack of a more descriptive term. He agreed to walk with me to my home, and I could feel my cheeks flush and heart pound faster. I unwittingly began venting my frustration with Yuigahama onto him, and yet he didn't flee, he didn't stand down. I admire that. I admire _him_. I can still feel a bit of his warmth in my palm. I would never tell him this. I couldn't. Not yet, at least. Yuigahama is still in the match...she can't fool me by attempting to use the weather to cover an LED flash. But that's fine. The ball is in her court. All I must do is carefully continue my way into Hikigaya's heart. Repress my emotions, hold them back, I don't want to overwhelm him. If I do, I'll be just like Yuigahama...even if I already do most of what she does. I just don't show it to him. He'd hate me if I did. His sleeping face really is cute, though; just like Pan-san. Pan-san is cute. Hikigaya reminds me of Pan-san; perhaps in the eyes and demeanor. Does that mean Hikigaya is cute? Mm. If all else fails, I'll force my way inside his heart. And I'll take Yuigahama out kicking and screaming. Quietly, I lick my lips, letting out a ragged breath. Does Hikigaya like chains? Hmm...

* * *

 **Friends, do not be of worry. Many plans are underway. Yukinoshita was never as open with her emotions as Yuigahama. And there always must be a slight break away from horror. Otherwise, where's the fun in between periods of suspense?**


	15. Joke chapter!

**This is a joke/gag chapter. I need a little break (aka today) and had this idea around 3-4am after reading the comment "WHY IS EVERYONE A YANDERE". Everyone? No, no. Not everyone. Not yet. Again, this is a** _ **joke chapter**_ **and has nothing to do with the main story.**

* * *

 **Location; Universe #895898053980295, also known as Chinamizawa.**

Class seemed to drag on eternally. I already knew all of this stuff, yet I diligently took notes regardless, repressing the urge to yawn. Things would be over soon. Then, lunch. Another quiet, peaceful meal on top of the roof. Ah, beautiful. A perfect way to spend an hour, quietly reading and enjoying the seaborn breeze while slowly munching down a meal accented with MAX COFFEE. Thank you, Gods.

"Alright, everyone. It's about that time. After lunch we'll continue learning about the Great Hi******** Disaster."

That's my cue. Quickly sliding my things into my bag, I stand up. As I'm partly hunched over my desk, however, a hand slams down onto my desk. I freeze, and look up. Yumiko Miura is looming over me, her death glare in full effect. I actually wince. This is not only unusual, it isn't good. No one ever bothers me in class; no one wants to be seen _around_ me. For her to be doing this in the open with a majority of the class still here...gulp.

"Hikio."

"A-ah, yes. Miura, may I help you?"

"Go out with me."

 _Eh?_

"Eh?"

"EHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

The entire class seemed to agree with my statement. She leaned forward however, the glare closing in on me at rapid speeds. _Dangerous! Dangerously close!_

"Did I stutter? Come on. I can't cook or clean, so you'll have to do that."

"Jumping to marriage so soon?! I never even said yes!"

"You will. Right?"

I began to sweat. However, I could see Yuigahama stand up.

"Hikki! Go out with me, not Yumiko!"

"JUDAS!"

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

One of the nameless girls in our class fainted. I could begin to hear the boys whispering promises of my death; something along the lines of 'riajuu explode'. This isn't good. I need to get out of here. Hina Ebina shot up.

"Forget HikixHaya! It's HinaxHiki! Rotten eyes go with rotten personality, we were practically written for eachother!"

The class made another loud dramatic sound. Someone began screaming. For a moment, I thought I could register pitchforks being raised. As the three of them stared at eachother (with Hina panting wildly, her glasses fogging up), Kawasomething stood as well.

"N-Not you too!"

"...Sorry, Hikigaya...but you already confessed to me and all…"

"When was this?!"

"You don't remember? I've been thinking about it this entire time, and...I love you too. I don't mind if you're a househusband as long as you watch over Keika and Taishi…"

 _Hoh. Kawasaki might be a good choice, then._

They broke out into an argument. Someone was still screaming and the girl who had fainted was beginning to convulse as the twist kept twisting around. The group of jealous men were starting to light torches. Bad. Bad, bad bad! Slowly, activating my natural camouflage, I crept towards the door. I need to escape this Hell before things get worse! The door opened in front of me, however, and I was forced out of my mobile hiding spot as everyone turned to face the new guests.

"Ah, hallo hallo!"

"Hello."

"Hello, everyone~!"

"H-Haruno, Yukino...Meguri?! Why are you here?"

Haruno spoke first.

"Oh, I can taste the misery in the air, so I'm here to collect."

"Nee-san caught wind of...it's not important."

"Haruno dragged me along...hello, Hikigaya! You're looking quite well!"

"Y-Yeah, thanks, anyway if you would excuse me, I need to get going…"

Haruno's hand pressed against my chest as I attempted to walk by her. Her eyes cut into me; they looked hollow.

"Ah, Hachiman, where are you going? We need to get you a tuxedo, of course."

"O-Oh...why would I need a tuxedo? And please, I must be on my wa-"

"For our wedding, of course."

"You mean OUR wedding, Nee-san."

"This looks fun; can I get married to Hikigaya too?"

"What's going on here?! Is this 'pick with Hachiman' day? Was there a memo I missed?"

Hiratsuka-sensei slammed her fist against the table upfront, however. I forgot she was here...that girl is starting to foam at the mouth, why has nobody sent for help?!

"All of you seem to be forgetting that we had arranged to marry as soon as he graduated!"

"No we didn't!"

"Quiet, Hachiman! Don't talk to your wife-to-be-like that!"

Miura's eyes had the same hollow appearance as Haruno's. In fact, they all seemed to be...similar, in that regard. There wasn't a hint of life in any of their gazes, except for Meguri. Her eyes were warm and filled to the brim with enjoyment.. Then they all turned to me. I briefly eyed Hayama for help, but he was practically a statue of shock and confusion. The person screaming had begun coughing, his throat dry. What is this abstract purgatory?!

"Hey, Hikio. You choose me, right?"

"Hikki~. Tell these _horribly incorrect_ people who your choice is~."

"HinaxHiki...HinaxHikki...HinaxHikki…"

"C-Come on, I have to get to work soon Hikigaya…"

"Yes, Hikigaya. Tell these people - and Yukino - who you choose. Or am I just an old nee-san to you?"

"Hikigaya. Come. We have many things to plan for...I wonder if there are Pan-san cake ornaments…"

"This is so much fun!"

"Hikigaya…"

Hiratsuka-sensei cracked her knuckles, her teeth starting to grit. I did the only thing I could.

I ducked down just enough, leaping through the gap of Haruno's legs and the doorway like a frightened cat. Before they could process what was happening, I began to sprint down the hall. I could hear a loud clamoring behind me and many feet rushing and then thuds of impact as an entire class tried to pour through two small doors. _Where do I go?!_ As I moved with great panic and alacrity, I could hear a pair of feet rapidly approaching mine. Miura, the tiger, was gaining on me with enough speed to cause my heart to nearly burst.

"I play _tennis_ , Hikio. My stamina is great. You can't outrun me! Nobody says 'no' to Yumiko Miura!"

"I never even gave you an answer!"

"Nobody _runs_ from Yumiko Miura without giving an answer, either!"

 **Bad! Bad bad bad!** Still running, I took a sharp left, and Miura slid, not expecting the turn. I could hear another faint sound of impact and a gasp. I left Miura in the dust, for now. As I kept moving, I found a brief spot of respite. The infirmary! Yes, perfect! The door was open, yet the nurse was gone. I hid behind the screen with the bed, leaning over it to catch my breath. _Why me?! Why was all of this happening to me?! I made it a point NOT to get noticed! Are they all controlled by parasites or something!?_ As I mourned my own luck, however, I could hear feet approaching, slowly. Methodically.

"Hiiiiikkkkkiii~."

 _No._

Dropping down, I stealthily rolled under the bed. If this weren't such a dire situation, that would've been really cool, actually. +10 Hikigaya points. The door slid open, and I tensed. I could see feet practically skipping inside, the door closing behind her with a soft sound.

"I wonder where Hikki is~? Is he hiding in the infirmary~? If he is, _I sure am glad he's already in a place with medical supplies~!"_

 _Scary. Scary, scary scary._

"Come on, Hikki~. I'm sure Sable and Kamakura can get along. We can too~! All you need to do…"

My vision was filled with a smiling pink face as she bent over, her teeth bared as she spoke.

"Is say yes."

That's when I began to scream. I rolled out from the other side and kicked the dividers over as I did so, bursting through the door with an unwarranted amount of force. _T-The library! It's just ahead! There!_ However, as I neared my new destination, Ebina stepped in front of the door.

"I'm willing to accept your confession to me as genuine! Come, let's both be horribly rotten and selfish together! Maybe we can get Hayama in on it too?! Ahh~!"

"Not a chance in Hell!"

Sharp right. Legs cramping. Lungs failing. Move. Keep moving...but where? Where where where?! Maintenance closet! Unlocked door! Unexpected! I ripped the door open and moved inside, closing it behind me. Panting and sweating as I ran through the halls, I slid back first down the wall, landing next to a broom.

"Find that riajuu bastard!"

"He's always on the roof, look there!"

And there goes the angry mob...whew. Roof is out of the question. Other classrooms are a no go...where do I go?! I can't stay here forever, can I? The door opened right as I thought it. Oh, Gods, you are evil. Kawasaki stepped inside, slowly closing the door behind her. As she faced me, her face was a mix of slight anger and embarrassment.

"H-Hey. So, uh, about the...dating thing…"

"Absolutely not! The timing is terrible and everyone is chasing me around! You included!"

"Y-Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry about that...ah, jeez...it's just that...Keika really likes you and Taishi likes you and I like you and…"

"You can stop, please It's very sweet and all, and I appreciate it a great amount, but I'm not ready for a relationship."

"O-Oh, well...uh...that means there's hope, right? Yeah...it's fine...I can wait. Sorry to inconvenience you like this, and all…"

"...I-It's fine, Kawasaki. Thank you for being so considerate."

"It's cool, really...see you around, Hikigaya…"

She almost looked dejected as she opened the door and stepped out. I felt a twinge of guilt. Kawasaki really was the best choice. However, she stopped. Someone in front of her got on her tiptoes. I could only make out a smiling silhouette.

"Ahh, hallo hallo, Hikigaya. Ready to become part of the Yukinoshita family?"

Panic and paranoia took hold of me as I burst upright. Muttering an apology to Kawasaki I bumped into her, purposely sending her colliding into Haruno. The duo fell, and I was off once more. The agony was driving me to drooling and tearing up, my legs demanding I stop. The Student Council room wasn't far. I just need someplace where I'll be left alone! Please! I need to escape this Hell! I ripped the door open, slamming it behind me. A hand rested on my shoulder, and a chilling voice whispered into my ear at such a close proximity that I thought it was Death. Death would've been preferable, at least his boss fight is fun. My hand stayed on the door handle, twitching. Paralysis and exhaustion taking hold...

"Hikigaya, relax. You're safe here, with me...would you like something to drink?"

"Y-Yukinoshita...why are you doing this? You, of all people…"

"Please don't hate me for this, Hikigaya. If you like, I could put on the cat ears. Would that make you feel more at ease?"

"No, then this would just turn into some degenerate's fantasy!"

"Truly, I do fear for my chastity around you sometimes...but if we are to be wed, perhaps I need not fear anymore…"

With that sentence I forced the door back open, forcing myself forward with everything I had left. Teacher's room...an adult there has to help me. Someone HAS to be there to help me! There's no way that it'd be empty! As my hand opened the door, with a hoarse voice I gasped.

"P-please, help me! I'm being chased!"

"Ah, Hikigaya, hello!"

"I knew you'd come right to me, Hachiman...Meguri, restrain!"

"Okaaay!"

Meguri's arms flung around me, and I was brought into a tight, clenching embrace. I was too tired to move, and I tried. She's too soft and cuddly. I can't escape this teddybear-like vicegrip! Hiratsuka-sensei placed her hands on her hips in triumph.

"Did we win?"

"Yes, we did, Meguri! I won the most, though. Hachiman, I hope you like Gunpla. There's going to be a lot of it in our room."

The door behind us, however, was practically forced apart. A crowd of very _, very_ angry potential suitors outside of the door. As they began to funnel in, Meguri found herself overwhelmed, and we fell to the floor. I took the shock of impact and looked up, eyes widening in horror as the great wave of hands and faces began to descend upon me.

"Hikio, I'll fix that rotten EVERYTHING of yours!"

"Hikki, let me love you! _Or I'll tear out your heart._ "

"HikixHina! HikixHina! HikixHaya with Hina assist!"

"S-Sorry, Hikigaya, but I can't take no for an answer! I have a family to look after!"

" _What's the matter, Hikigaya? Afraid to make a deal with the devil~?"_

"Hikigaya, it's _very unwise_ to make me run. But it's okay. Once I _sink my claws_ into you, you'll never want another woman…"

"Yaaay! Dogpile on Hikigaya~!"

"Be a man, Hachiman! Take responsibility for this pounding in my heart!"

My own hands went up to defend myself, and they were quickly grabbed and restrained while being simultaneously squeezed.

"W-Wait! Get off of me! Stop! **STOP!** "

My protests were soon drowned out in my own screams, and gradually, the world went black.

* * *

A report was pressed on my desk by some rookie. Don't know his name.

"Here, Mister Delicious. Straight from Chiba."

"Thank you. Go get something to eat, kid. You look a little thin."

"Lunch isn't for another hour, sir."

"I'm relieving you early. It's been a busy day…"

"T-Thank you! Do you want something…?"

"Coffee. Black. Thank you."

The young man saluted, and left. Nine missing persons in one day, another with shred vocal cords and the other stuck with epilepsy. What on Earth happened…? I opened the file placed on my desk and took out all the intel we had. Yumiko Miura. Yui Yuigahama. Hina Ebina. Saki Kawasaki. Haruno Yukinoshita. Yukino Yukinoshita. Meguri Shiromeguri. Shizuka Hiratsuka. And the only male to go missing, Hachiman Hikigaya. Witness reports say there was a mass confession to Hikigaya, and he fled, with all the confessors chasing him. It can be assumed that eventually, he was caught. They've been gone for over two weeks now, though...is he still alive? The only evidence we have to it is a note found hastily scrawled near Sobu High. The transcript is typed out here, a much better alternative to the chicken scratch that was initially on the piece of paper.

 _My name is Hachiman Hikigaya. I am a prisoner. I do not know where I am. What I do know is the identities of my captors. If the police are investigating this, then you too know them. I am stuck in a perpetual Hell of being used like a toy. Compromise was possibly the worst thing that they could've decided on. Please, tell my little sister to be strong. And also, help me. Please, search every house you can in Chiba. I'm bound to be around here somewhere! I can't take another embarrassing hug or I'll die! I beg of you, save me!_

 _\- Hachiman Hikigaya (help!)  
_

Haaanh...this will be a troubling case indeed...

* * *

 **I'm not sorry for anything because this beautiful mess was fun to write. Rest in peace, Hachiman. Forever forced to be a cuddlebuddy by a group of unstable women.  
**


	16. Chapter 15

The snow had begun to come down, quite heavily. Yukinoshita walked slightly ahead of me as I trailed behind her, bike moving begrudgingly over the snow. Her hands were behind her back, one wrist clutching the other, as she moved. A large burst of wind caught me off guard, and I winced from the chill. This was only going to get worse. I'd be an apathetic realist snowman by the time I got home, or worse. With each step, the snow seemed to accumulate more and more, and I was beginning to get worried if I'd ever get home. Speaking of home, I noticed that Yukinoshita's pace was fairly...relaxed, given the dire weather situation around us. She was practically out on a midday stroll as all of the ice elementals in existence were having a party. To be fair, though, she herself qualifies as one…

"H-Hey, Yukinoshita...shouldn't we, well...pick up the pace?"

"We'll have plenty of time to reach my apartment, Hikigaya. Don't worry."

"It's not reaching your place I'm concerned with…"

"Hm? Say again?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

I could hear faint giggling ahead. As the streets grew colder and darker, we finally arrived outside of Yukinoshita's apartment. Visibility was absolute zero, with heavy snow and fog blocking everything past two feet. I hope a man doesn't come by asking about his daughter… Yukinoshita turned to me, and smiled. A fair amount of snow was accumulated on her shoulders. Then, she opened her mouth.

"Hikigaya, I must insist you spend the night."

"No."

My reply was instant. No hesitation, no thought; base instinct. She frowned, however, and her eyes began to narrow.

"I _insist._ If you go back out there, you'll end up hurt, sick, or worse."

"Again, no. I'll be fine."

" _Hikigaya._ "

That tone was unusual. I gulped, gripping the handlebars of my trusty steed.

"I'm sorry, but really; I don't want to be a bother, and Komachi will probably be worrying…"

"I have a large apartment to myself and you can call Komachi. You also won't be a bother because I'm extending the offer to you as thanks for walking me home. With this, we'll be equal. It's not like we have classes to attend tomorrow."

"While that may be true...I still don't like the idea."

"And why not?"

"Well...no, nevermind. If I elaborate further you'll mutter something about having the police on speed dial."

"Hoh? Perhaps I should, now. Regardless; come in."

"Hey, I never agreed to doing this to begin with."

"Wipe your feet, of course."

"Are you listening to me?"

"There's also a space for your bike. Come, it's quite chilly, even for my taste…"

 _Urgh._

Silently, I bowed my head in appreciation and followed Yukinoshita in. As the door closed behind us, a large, thundering boom came from the skies overhead. Yep, glad I'm not walking, mhmm. As I stepped inside the elevator, Yukinoshita looked over to me. There was a hint of girlish glee in those eyes.

"I hope you'll find my abode satisfactory."

"It's this or being buried alive...so I'm in no position to complain, am I?"

"I suppose not. But, knowing you, I'm surprised you didn't try to dig yourself a hole in the snow to sleep for a thousand years."

"And miss my little sister's first day of highschool? Or her graduation? Or college? Never."

"Perhaps Isshiki is right when she mentions you being a siscon…"

"Not."

"Mm."

The elevator door finally opened, and Yukinoshita lead the way. The apartment WAS large, unnecessarily so. Modern, dark furniture, a few pieces of art, and a television surrounded by a sizeable library. Even as the lights came on, things were still scarcely lit. Dimmer switch? Even I had to admit that was a bit much. It certainly added to ambience, though. +5 Hikigaya points. Yukinoshita removed her heavy winter coat, letting out a soft sigh of relief as she did so. When she looked to me, I gave her an inquisitive expression.

"Coat, Hikigaya."

"A-Ah, right...where do I-"

"Pass it to me. I'll hang it up for you."

"No, really, it's fine, just point out where it goes."

" _Hikigaya._ "

"Gah…t-thank you, Yukinoshita, my most gracious host."

The last bit seemed to really get her as she grinned. I undid my blue overcoat, handing it to her. She disappeared into another room, and I was stuck looking around. This place must get lonely - so high from the ground you can't hear traffic, so it's practically dead silent. Outside, I could only register grayish black with specks of white howling in circles, the occasional flash of lightning in the distance. My own reflection looked tired, beaten, and...mildly embarrassed. However, when I saw a face forming behind me, advancing towards my shoulder, I almost screamed. I turned, preparing to meet Yukinoshita - but was met with nothing. She, herself, finally came in from the other room.

"Enjoying the view?"

"...What little of it I can make out."

I could process a bit of sweat rolling down my forehead. Yukinoshita gave me a somewhat matronly smile.

"Please, have a seat...would you like some tea?"

"Ah, no, you don't have too. Really."

"I'm making myself some, anyway. I'll assume that polite no is now changed to a yes?"

"Don't make choices for me…"

"So yes to tea."

"Geh...please. I'm freezing."

 _I feel like she's trying too hard to be a good host, but so far she's on point with all of these questions. Maybe she'd run a good hotel?_ As I sat down on the couch, I actually began to sank down into it. The leathery material, while seeming firm, was actually quite soft. Surprised, I found myself pressing back into the couch, sliding down it slowly into a slouch. _Oh. This. THIS is life. I can feel my primal Sloth emerging…_ In the kitchen, however, I could barely make out Yukinoshita working. I saw things being poured into cups and...I'm not sure. I'm working off of silhouettes here. Really, turn the lights up! However, she soon stepped out with two cups. One with Pan-san, and the other...with a different Pan-san. I could feel my own flat expression. _Yukinoshita, you really are one-dimensional when it comes to this…_ As she placed my cup in front of me, I took it with slightly uncharacteristic vigor. The warmth radiating through the cup was lovely, bringing my frozen fingers back from death.

"I think you'll enjoy it quite a bit, Hikigaya. It's nothing like what we have at the clubroom."

"Hoh? What is it, then?"

"A surprise. Go on, try it."

"Cat's tongue. I'll let it sit…"

"Blow on it."

"Eh? No, really, it's fine."

"If you don't, I will."

That glint. She's serious. _O-Okay! I get it! Puffffff. Pufffffff. See!? Blowing!_ Somewhat embarrassed, I began to frantically attempt to cool down my drink, the look in her eyes softening gradually before she stifled a laugh. The heat was still rising off of the cup, but it was nowhere near as intense before. Very carefully, I took a sip. Sweet. A hint of...cinnamon, honey as well. But there's something else in there...what? My eyes went wide in astonishment - this is arguably one of the best cups of tea I've ever had. Yukinoshita was beaming.

"Fufu...I see you're enjoying it."

"It's...good. Thank you."

"Thank me by drinking more. It's improper to let good tea get cold."

"I've never heard of that tradition…"

Dubious lie aside, I kept drinking. My entire body began to heat up as the warmth circulated through my bones, my throat starting to become slightly numb from the mixture. Chamomile? Earl Gray? I can't tell. All I know is that I want more of it. Yukinoshita, however, stayed oddly silent, her eyes closed, a smile on her lips, and taking careful drinks of her tea. I almost feel bad - mine have become progressively more uncivilized in terms of quantity and gap inbetween sips. But it's fine, really. I'll keep drinking...ah.

"Uh…"

"Done already? You really did enjoy it, then."

"S-Sorry. It's been awhile since I had a hot drink I enjoyed as much as this."

"Hoh? Was that praise?"

"Not at all."

I gave a very slight smile, but tensed. My eyelids felt as though they just grew weights. I fought an urge to yawn, a sudden, extremely strong one. The numbness in my throat was beginning to spread to the rest of my limbs as well, and I felt incredibly weary. I sunk back even further, eyes struggling to stay open and my teeth gritting.

"H-Hey...what...was that tea?"

"Just chamomile. You seem tired. Would you like to rest here tonight?"

"N-No, really...I'm fine...just need to…"

As I struggled to sat up, I tipped over. My lower half was still in a sitting position, and my upper half was slouched over. Yukinoshita quietly stood up and moved over to my side of the couch. Lifting each leg gently, she placed them on the couch. I found it difficult to move, now. What should be a swinging arm registered only as a muscle twinge. My eyes started to close, despite the looming panic building in my heart. Something was wrong. I knew this. Yet, as my eyesight clouded, so did my mind. As my vision faded completely to darkness, I could hear one final thing.

"Pleasant dreams, Hikigaya."

* * *

I waited until Hikigaya was fully asleep. His eyes had been closed for over five minutes now, but some part of him was still awake. Now, he's completely entrenched in dreams. Even if he wasn't, the solution he drank would be enough to prevent any actions against me. Slowly, I dropped down to my knees, sitting in front of him. His sleeping face was adorable, his rotten eyes closed, with a serene look overtaking his normally annoyed one. Hesitantly, I raised my hand up. I brushed a bit of hair away from his forehead, and froze, expecting him to grab my wrist. He did no such thing, however, not even moving.

"Hikigaya. Are you awake?"

No response.

"Hachiman."

Still, no response.

"...D-Darling."

Nothing. The pounding in my chest multiplied tenfold. I could feel myself starting to drool but slightly, cheeks flushing dark red. Even my breathing rate had increased. Hands, normally kept chained downward, began to freely explore the unknown territory. I had squeezed his cheek, poked his nose, rubbed his head, ran fingers through his hair, everything I could possibly imagine. The entire time I was borderline hyperventilating, trying my hardest to keep myself in control as I slipped. It was then that I noticed something. As Hikigaya began to quietly snore, I noticed the faintest signs of drool dripping from the left corner of his mouth. What I did next, I am not proud of. As I protested to myself mentally, screaming words of denial, my body leaned forward. My tongue ran across my lips, and I could hear my own heart beating wildly. Should it explode now, I'm sure I would die happy, but it did not. Very carefully, slowly...I pressed my lips against his. My hand began to clench a bit of his shirt as I did so, and I gasped at the atrocity of my own actions. Yet I could not pull away. I did not _want_ to pull away. Rather, I moved back just enough to change the angle. His lips still tasted of honey. I began to melt. I was putty in the arms of a sleeping man who could do nothing. I felt...devalued. But I did not care. If this moment could last forever, I'd stop time. Silently, I stayed there with him for what seemed an eternity, connected at the mouth. Occasionally, his lips would move in a way that I feared was his awakening, but luckily, it never was. When I _did_ finally pull away, there was a string of saliva. I could only feel myself blushing more. I stood up, legs shaking, and opened the door to my bedroom.

The collage of Hikigaya's photos was coming along quite nicely. I had everything from candid shots to sleeping shots. Nee-san may be... _difficult_ , but the camera was certainly a lovely gift. It made the project far, far simpler. How many photos was I approaching? Hmm. Close to seventy, I think. No matter. I'd double it in three days, at least. Reaching across my bed, I took the Pan-san he himself won for me. Taking it back to the living room, I gingerly lifted his arm, placing it in front of him. Holding the camera up, I smiled, a bit of his essence still lingering on my lips.

Click.

* * *

 **HERE WE GO  
**


	17. Joke Chapter 2!

**Forgive me but I had too. This was too much fun. Three days off, though, so no exhaustion preventing work on the actual thing! Yaaaay. Here we revisit Chinamizawa and see how Hikigaya learned to deal with his current situation.**

* * *

Hello.

My name is Hachiman Hikigaya. Seventeen years old. Loner.

I am currently being held hostage. I have been for awhile now. Where I am, I'm not sure. I'm chained into the room. I can move around, just fine, but the chain is only long enough to be pulled taut if I take two steps outside. Truly, this is a horrible fate I find myself in! Or, that's what I initially thought. As I lay here, enjoying my only break for the day, I find myself wondering just how truly bad my situation is. I miss my sister and Kamakura dearly, but...I've more or less been forced into a life of house husbandry! Is this actually Heaven?! All day with nothing but magazines and TV and...well, females. Ah, speaking of which, it's about time for her turn…

Almost directly on cue, Miura opens the door, stepping inside and gently closing it behind her. It's an action that I still cannot associate with the fiery beast that she is. As she stepped towards me, I sighed and sat up. She looked annoyed at the loud exhaling, though...time to diffuse her using the skills I've acquired in my captivity! Not-So-Loner Technique #45! Sweet talk!

"Hello, Yumiko. Came to visit me for today?"

"D-Don't flatter yourself so much. You should be happy that I even showed up to see you, Hikio…"

"You come here everyday; it's something I look forward too."

She began to blush, idly playing with a lock of her hair. She's actually quite easy to handle, if you know how to speak. A lot of tiger maulings have taught me to be gentle with her. Do I agree with talking like this? No, not at all. I feel like some creepy harem manga protagonist who's way too good with words. I moved over slightly as Miura got closer, and she sat next to me on the bed provided. Slowly, she leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder, she herself letting out a sigh.

"Long day?"

"Yeah...I'm exhausted."

"Want to tell me about it, or…"

"No, Hikio, it's fine...t-thank you, though. For a rotten creep, you're not that bad of a boyfriend...I guess…"

"H-Haha...thank you for the praise."

"It wasn't praise."

"Right."

I could see the faintest hint of a smile forming at the edges of her lips. Using my free hand, I began to pet her head, and the smile began to bloom more. Almost lovingly, she began to grind her cheek into my shoulder. _Miura diffused. Currently in deredere mode. Big brother tactics work just as well!_

"Hey, Hikio?"

"Ah, yes?"

"Thank you."

Before I could respond, she leaned up a bit, planting a kiss on my cheek. Lipstick! Pink! Unexpected! As I flushed and began to mutter, there was a knock on the door. Accompanying it was the sound of panting. Has it already been an hour? Jeez…

Miura stood up, dusting herself off - before placing a hand on my head, rubbing my hair.

"Ahh, that's all I get for today, huh? Well, it certainly made me feel better...so you pass for today. _Be good, Hikio."_

"Y-Yes, ma'am. Have a nice day, Yumiko."

She seemed pleased with that, giving me a smile before she left my side. _Really, she's a nice girl underneath the queenly behavior. It'd be nice if I wasn't trapped here, but still._

The door opened, and inside ran a four-legged beast! Cerberus has finally come to challenge me, eh?! Oh. No, this was not Cerberus. Instead, I was attacked by a not so wild Sable, who jumped on my lap and began licking me eagerly. I see him every day, yet he never fails in his energetic greeting. Despite being more of a cat person, I found myself smiling and petting him. _You're no Kamakura, but you're quite the little energy ball. Just like your master, I suppose. Although not as creepy._ On the topic of Sable's master, I could see one of mine out in the hall speaking with Yumiko. I caught a wicked pink sidelong glance, however, and cringed. _And I thought Miura was scary. Eesh..._

As Yuigahama stepped inside, the door seemingly clicked into place by itself. This is an exaggeration, as she obviously must have started the momentum of the door closing before she walked in, but it was still creepy. Her eyes seemed both distant and focused as she stepped towards me. When her arms outstretched, I briefly imagined myself being caught and strangled by an apparition, but I instead was just hugged, my face being stuck into her soft stomach. I could register fingers going my hair, much as I was doing to Sable.

"Ahh, I missed you Hikki...so did Sable, I think!"

"It's only been a day, Yui...less than that, probably."

" _Even an hour away from you feels like an eon…_ "

"Oh, that so…? Well, you're here now, so-"

" _Shh._ "

My sentence was cut short as I was pushed back. Sable jumped to the left of me, as Yuigahama fell to my right. Her arm wrapped around mine, pinning it in place as Sable rested on my left, tail wagging happily. Briefly, I considered that that if Yuigahama had a tail, it would be going just as wild. Leaning up, she kissed my cheek. Then my lips. She dotted me in a hail of them, still clutching my arm close to her body as she did. Her face was pink as her head, breaths labored. Sable began to lick my cheek, and I was trapped between two excited dogs having their way with a toy. I could hear Yuigahama muttering something under her breath, and I'm not sure I want to know what it was. Almost like a small chant. I could only lay there and take it, starting to blush a bit, even through all the defenses I'd raised over the course of my incarceration. All of this was still embarrassing. When she moved up towards my ear, I was worried about what she might say. Promises of death, of fulfillment of my greater purpose in the afterlife? Or maybe saying she'd cook dinner tonight?!

"I love you, Hikki...let's get married sometime, okay~? We can have some kids, too…"

"I-I think you might have to fight the others for that right, Yuigahama…"

" _Gladly."_

There was a wicked smile as she spoke those words, eyes glinting like a knifes' edge. _Hoh, that comparison might be a little too accurate!_

Knock knock.

Yui's face was flatter than Yukino as she spoke. Wordlessly, she kissed me before rising up, headed towards the door. Patting her lap, Sable gave me one last lick and rushed to her side. As the door opened, I sat up, and I could make out the faint silhouette of my next guest. One exited, and the other stepped in; Hina Ebina. Yuigahama slammed the door behind Ebina, causing me to jump. Ebina, however, simply gave me a warm smile, taking a chair with her. Sitting it in front of me, she sat on it, her pose rather dignified...normal.

"Hello, Hachiman...Yui seemed upset."

"Well, you know her and her uh…"

"Desire to kill all of us?"

"...Yeah."

"I'm glad she doesn't. Here I am giving into a selfish, rotten desire, yet she holds hers back...ahh, she really is a saint when it comes to patience."

"Mmhm. So, Hina, what is it today? More Comiket books?"

"Oh, no...I thought we could just talk."

"That's unusual."

"I know. It's almost as if I'm a person underneath the fujoshi facade."

I cracked a smile at that, and she returned it. This was Hina. She was surprisingly enjoyable to be around, when she was being herself. She admits her faults...and even if she does nothing to correct them, that's more than most people do. Despite trying to get me to have a relationship with Hayama (lol), I oddly enough found her company some of the most pleasant.

"How's life behind bars been treating you?"

"Well, I'm being taken care of in between being passed around like a doll to the others - yourself included - so I suppose it's not all terrible."

"You almost seem resigned."

"If I were to be rescued, the police would've come here by now. There's nothing to be gained from dwelling on hope. All I can do is enjoy what little I can, here."

"Heh. Who knows? Maybe one day a key will slip under your door."

"I'll be looking forward to that."

"Good luck out-running seven borderline psychotic women."

"Only seven? What about you?"

She smiled.

"I never said which seven, Hachiman."

What should've evoked fear only drew another grin, and even a dry laugh. She returned it in kind, and for the first time all day I felt at ease. She leaned over her chair, however, and planted a kiss on my forehead. Somewhere in the distance, Tobe screamed.

"You're still my selfish desire, too. Even if you'd be great with Hayama…"

"It'd be a cold day in Hell."

"Hehe...SakiSaki, I know you're out there. Come in."

Through the door I could hear a 'Geh!' followed by the sounds of impact and embarrassment. After a brief moment of silence, and Hina's smile, the door slowly opened, with Kawasaki peering in the doorway.

"H-Hey."

"All the way in. It's your turn."

"I-I know, I know, I'm coming in…"

The door slowly opened outwards, Kawasaki coming into full view. She was bright red, and fidgeting. Even after all this time, she was still so shy. Ebina stood and advanced towards Kawasaki, giving her a squeezing hug. Saki, however, looked to me in embarrassment. _N-no! I'm not a soft, cuddly girl at all! Don't get the wrong idea!_ These were her thoughts, I imagine. Mmhm.

"I'll be off, then~! SakiSaki, give Hachiman a big hug for me~!"

As she left the room, closing the door behind her, Kawasaki was still burning hot. I took the initiative; which is something I hate doing. But if I didn't, she would just stand there vibrating in fear.

"...Hey."

"H-Hey right back at you...d-d-doing okay?"

"Yeah...you?"

"Fine! Fine, really, I, uh...just a little flustered, yeah?"

She rubbed her own arm, looking away from me. She was arguably the most normal out of everyone in this cabal of crazy. I did, however, gesture for her to take a seat. She bowed almost immediately and chose the chair. I think if she sat on the bed, she'd catch fire.

"So...how's Keika doing?"

"Ah! Keika? She's doing fantastic! Her daycare has said nothing but good things about her lately. She even did a super cute crayon drawing of us together!"

"I'm glad to hear that. Does she still like eel?"

"Loves it, but it's not like we can have it every night…"

"I'm sure it's just a phase. If only she was like that about her vegetables, huh?"

"Tell me about it…"

Kawasaki actually began to smile as the conversation shifted to her family. Yes, this was the way to diffuse a SakiSaki bomb. If I didn't, she'd just sit there shaking and blushing and occasionally asking something about wanting to hold my hand. Her eyes, however, focused on me. Her arm raised, palm open. _Oh. I see. Am I a psychic?_

"H-Hachiman...can w-"

Before she even completed the request, I placed my hand in hers. I did nothing else, just placing my palm against hers. While this should make my heart pound and explode with thoughts of dating, love, and who-knows-what-else, I've become rather jaded to it all. Perhaps this is a downside? Mm. Kawasaki, however, was tensing like a startled cat, mouth slightly agape. Gently, I squeezed it.

"Come on. You've been trying to ask about this for a week. It's fine. You're probably the only person here who understands how loners work."

Very, very slowly that grip was returned, the girl named Kawasaki trembling before me. She looked as though she might shatter if I said anything else, so I was content with just this. _Ahh, her hand is getting sweaty. She might be freaking out. Her thinking about her sweaty hand is probably freaking her out more. She's stuck in a cycle of worsening panic. Oh nooooo…_ This is the lovelife of Kawasaki, or at least the one she had with me. I was quite content with it. Then came the knocking. The door opened of its own accord. The Yukinoshita sisters.

"Hallo Hallo, Hikigaya!"

"Hachiman."

"Eh?! A-Already?!"

"It's about that time, I think…"

Kawasaki looked a bit sad, but the glare coming off of Haruno was enough to make even her budge. As tough as she was, Haruno was an extradimensional force not to be trifled with. Combined with the nearly-silent storm brewing around Yukino herself, even I was forced to twinge in surmounting worry. Kawasaki gave my hand a slight squeeze before letting go somewhat begrudgingly, rising off of the seat. Quickly muttering a flustered goodbye, she left the room, sidestepping the demon sisters. When the door clicked to a shut, they both turned to me. I think I could feel my blood freezing.

"Aw, you don't look so excited to see us~."

"He would be fine if you didn't insist on always joining me…"

"I don't interfere, do I?"

"All the time."

As they began their quiet, bitter bickering, I slowly moved back into the bed. They weren't focusing on me. Maybe if I just...yes! There we go. Hidden. They'll continue fighting and I can spend this time in peace, not fear.

"Ah, he went back to sleep!"

"...!"

 _Don't move. Don't even breathe. If I don't move, they can't possibly see me. I can't see them, they can't exist._ However, when the comforter was briskly pulled away from my body by Yukino, the cold reality that they do exist was forced back upon me. Her eyes were enough to freeze a man solid. _Gorgon!_ I turned to stone, metaphorically, as she looked down upon me. Then, however, she propped her knee on the bed. Then the other. Looming over me, her figure began to fall. Or, rather, descend gently, until her head was on the pillow next to mine. She placed a gentle kiss on my lips, which left me surprised. _Eh?_

"...I missed you."

"A-Ah, well...I, uh…"

 _Ah, how do I respond to this!? This was unexpectedly cute!_ However, a voice spoke up.

" _Boring."_

Yukino looked annoyed. I could see Haruno standing behind her, arms crossed with a look of disinterest looming over her face. However, she stepped forward. Moving around to the foot of the bed, she began to crawl up it. She looked like a horribly oversized spider as she advanced towards me. She stopped next to me, her smile wide, before she leaned in. She spoke, but not exactly quietly.

"Hey, hey, Hachiman. Have any of the girls tried to get you into bed yet?"

"Nee-san!"

"I...no, thankfully."  
" _Booooooring..._ Maybe you'd like a little hands on education regarding the subject?"

"No, thanks, I'm good. Really. I have a feeling you'd suck out my soul or something…"

"Only a little bit~."

Yukino's arm clasped around mine as Haruno spoke. She was practically shaking mad. Haruno's smile widened as she saw the opportunity to torture both myself and her younger sister. She leaned in just a bit closer.

"Hey, kiss me."

A shake of fury from behind me.

"I'm fine, thanks."

" _That wasn't a request."_

Before my protest could continue, the spider that is Haruno was upon me. My free arm was pinned down as she pressed her weight on my chest, her lips pressed against mine. Her eyes were partially open, the same look of distant contempt glassing them over as she did so. She was gauging my reaction. Waiting for Yukino's. _Don't move. Don't breathe. Just let her end it._ _She'll get bored eventually._ I could feel a small bite on my lower lip, and I repressed the urge to jump. I made horribly uneasy, slightly angry eye contact with Haruno, undeterred. Yukino's nails were beginning to dig into me. Finally, Haruno pulled away from me, sitting up and looking away towards the wall. I could see her twirling a bit of her hair around her finger.

"Really, you're so boring...I was hoping you'd toss me off or something…"

"Why on Earth would I give you what you wanted?"

"Mm. Boring…"

My now free arm reached over, free from the tyranny of Haruno's bossom. I touched Yukino's head once, and her reaction was similar to receiving an electrical shock. She quivered for a moment before she looked up to me, face red and eyes moist. With a slight sigh, I leaned down, kissing her forehead. Yukino was not to be detonated. Everyone in a five mile radius would die. I need to carefully make sure that she isn't about to go on a killing spree.

"Are you okay... _dear_?"

Another convulsion. Her face was beginning to flush more. She clenched my arm just a bit tighter, nodding her head like an embarrassed child. Really, things like this weren't her strong suit. It probably took more than enough for her just to get into the bed like this. Once more, I sighed, reaching down for the blanket she ripped away from me. Lifting it upwards, I placed it over us, before closing my eyes. This should be enough, for now. However, I could detect movement! Yukino's head popped up just a bit, planting a kiss on my cheek, before she retreated back underneath the blanket. Ah, getting embarrassed now...this is seriously cute. I hate this; why do the prerequisites of this have to involve kidnapping?! A soft rapping from the otherside of the door drew all of our attention.

"Helloooo! It's my turn, I think!"

"Ah, Megurin is here...come, come, Yukino. I think poor Hikigaya needs a bit of a break…"

"R-Right...I'll be back tomorrow, Hachiman."

"Me too~!"

" _Yes, her too..._ have a nice night."

"Yeah...later."

The Yukinoshita sisters waved to me before advancing towards the exit. I could see Yukino looking back, seemingly not wanting to leave, but she did regardless. Meguri came in, smiling happily and patting her lap.

"Hikigaya, here boy!"

"I-I'm not a dog!"

"I know!"

"Urgh…"

I rolled out of the bed, standing up. Quietly, I moved towards Meguri, my chain rattling which each step, until I was close enough to her. She gave me a tight, squeezing hug, jumping excitedly while giggling. _What the Heck, this is so cute! How can Meguri make kidnapping fun?! I hate this! I want to die!_ As she began to grind her cheek into my chest, I felt like my heart might pop.

"How're you, honey? I hope everyone else has been treating you well."

"I-I'm fine, thanks...you know this is wrong, right? Before you seemed like you were just going along with it…"

"Wellll…"

She leaned up on her tiptoes, kissing my lips softly.

"I kind of fell for you a while ago~."

"When?!"

"Mm...I think when you carried my boxes for me?"

"Over something that small?!"

She gave me another warm smile. It was, dare I say, genuine.

"I don't think it's such a bad thing. The circumstances could be better, but…"

Her smile wavered a bit, brow furrowing.

"I'm technically an accessory to kidnapping now. I can't just go and let you go, can I…?"

"...Not without some sort of repercussion. Even if I were to escape, I'm sure the others would hunt me down with the same fanaticism they had when I was first captured."

"Hehe."

"What?"

"I'd help them, of course."

"Guh."

Meguri pet my head gently, sweetly smiling to me as I blushed. Seriously, who can say such threatening things will being so adorable? I really might die here. From heart disease. The heart disease known as Meguri. A terrible fate, indeed. However, Meguri gripped onto my shoulders.

"Up!"

"Ah...aren't you a little old fo-"

"Up, please~."

"...Yes, ma'am."

She lept up just a bit, and I hooked my arms under her legs. As I held her up, she began to laugh quietly, still grinding her cheek into my chest. Meguri's requests are...childlike. Simple, really. Slightly degrading? Yes. But, by no means unpleasant. Honestly, compared to being forced into kissing or prolonged cuddle sessions, I'd rather have Meguri by far.

"I love you, Hikigaya~."

"Mm…"

"Come oooon, say it back! If you don't, I'll bite your cheek. Ahhhh~!"

"O-Okay, okay! I…"

I proceeded to grumble. Meguri gave my cheek a slight nip.

"Say it properly!"

"IloveyouMeguri."

Nip. _Ah, that one hurt a bit! Come on!_

"Pro-per-ly~."

She was smiling. She was so sweet that I think I may die of diabetes. I cleared my throat, starting to blush a bit before looking away.

"I love you, Megurin."

"Good Hikigaya! Here's your reward!"

"It's not necess-"

 _Smooch._

Meguri gave me another soft, fluffy hug. I want to melt. This is driving me insane. Then, however, I registered the three pounding thumps on the door. Before either of us could respond, Hiratsuka-sensei (or Shizuka, as she wants me to call her) was standing in the door, a panting, drooling mess. Her face was red and her hair was disheveled. It was far too late that I noticed the bottle.

"Meguri, out! Hachiman, bed!"

"What."

"Oh, dear…"

 _Please, police force! Help me!_


	18. Chapter 16

**As a precaution I will state that there are some adult themes in this here chapter. Nothing explicit! It's also shortish. Aaa. POV switches around a lot, but I hope the cues I set up there will make it more obvious who is who. Don't worry, Yui is coming!  
**

* * *

Setting the camera aside, I once more took my kneeling position in front of the sleeping Hikigaya. He would be asleep for hours. I'm not sure what I should do with him. What _can't_ I do with him? The "closet" was well prepared. Soundproofing, sturdy steel shackles...no. That will wait until the situation is truly dire. Leaning in once more, I rested my head on his chest. I could hear the soft, gentle beats of his heart, and I quivered. Just who does this muscle beat for, I wonder? How much space do I occupy in it? Carefully, I moved my hand down his chest. His frame is lithe, yet still definingly masculine. If it weren't for his rotten eyes, he'd be a flat-out stunner. My hand kept its' descent downward, and I stopped just shy of an area I shouldn't dare be near. My face once more flushed red, and I could feel my heart starting to pound harder. ...He's asleep, right? Then there's no problem. He won't know. My fingers were already moving before I had made up my mind. The button was undone quickly, and so was the zipper. Below these lie...b-boxers. I see. I'm not sure what I thought he wore. I never gave it much thought. Perhaps he's not incorrect when he implies that _I'm_ the deviant. This is terrible. _I'm_ terrible. What I'm doing is...unfair. But in doing so I'm putting myself far ahead of Yuigahama. I ask not for her forgiveness, but for my love's. I wonder...can he feel this, as he sleeps? Ahh, don't think about that...

* * *

How long has it been since I fell asleep? I'm not sure. I keep having this horrible nightmare, yet every time I think it's over, I'm there once more. _Chinamizawa._ Eugh. Creepy. I'm still sleeping; the act of acknowledging that I'm asleep _should_ wake me up, or at the very least give me some sort of lucidity enough to control my dreams. But, I have neither. Just the knowledge as I go through my predestined course, watching myself from a third person perspective. Up ahead, I can see Yuigahama. She's waving, smiling and clearly excited to see me...yet I'm turning away, a look of dread on my face as I begin to run, teeth gritting. Why am I running? What's going on? Is she angry with me? However, Yukinoshita steps out of the corner 'I' was going to turn, and I stumble backwards. She as well dons the eerie grin, and she takes a step forward. The panic is only increasing as I can see myself beginning to lose my cool, Yuigahama stepping closer from behind me as Yukinoshita advances. Horrible giggling begins to fill the air as they get closer and closer, the 'me' I'm watching, and I watch him against a wall as they both set in on him. As their arms stretch outward, he screams. Their fingers grip him by the collar, some on his face and others on his hair, and they fall over him, still laughing as he's pinned to the ground. Just before I can see what happens next, the dream is over, starting in another location once more. How many times must I see myself walk down this road? However, I did feel a jolt. A surge of deep, pleasurable satisfaction. Maybe this dream is turning around? My luck might be changing! Good end, here I coooooooome!

* * *

As I finally moved away from Hikigaya, I almost fainted. All of my blood was currently located on my face, nervous sweat rolling down my forehead. That was embarrassing. That was embarrassing to the point where if he was awake, I'd die. I should die now, but I'm too happy to die. So many new photographs to hang up...I'll be busy for awhile. I smiled in an attempt to alleviate some of the anxiety, even if it's already over. Even if he doesn't know it, I'm far ahead of Yuigahama. That's all I can ask for, for the moment. We're closer than ever, technically...in some cultures, I think we legally should be wed. I doubt Hikigaya would go through with it, however, given his stance on marriage... However, in my bedroom, I could hear the musical jingle associated with Destiny Land. My phone? Who on Earth would be calling this late? I left Hikigaya and moved into the room, locating my cellular device and checking the number. Yuigahama. I felt a guilty pleasure as I answered the phone.

"Hello, Yuigahama."

" _What's Hachiman doing at your apartment?"_

"I haven't the slightest clue of what you're speaking about."

"His GPS signal matches up directly with your apartment.. He's with you. He has been for hours."

"And how would you happen to have his signal?"

" _Answer the question, Yukinoshita."_

"I don't have to answer anything. If you don't mind, Hikigaya is calling me back…"

" _Excuse me?"_

"I'll send you the photographs later. Have a nice night, Yuigahama."

I could register a scream from the other side of the phone as I ended the call. My head rolled back, and I let out a shuddering sigh. That felt _good_. I know I must have exacerbated things a great deal, but that just felt so, so good. I peeked out a bit and could still see Hikigaya, his chest rising and falling with each breath. It was...an enjoyable sight. If he could stay here forever...what a dream. Opening my fairly spacious closet, I ignored the shackles, video camera, and twin bed I had hastily set up. I instead opted for a spare blanket and pillow before stepping outside, closing the door once more. Draping the blanket over his sleeping frame and lifting his head just enough to allow the pillow under it, I smiled. With a soft kiss to his forehead, I departed for my own bedroom. What I did...was unforgivable. I should probably be arrested. But, what he doesn't know can't possibly hurt him, right? All he'll know is that he took some strong tea and fell asleep...and that's for the best. I wonder if one day he'll be sharing this bed with me? I really _am_ a deviant...Pan-san still has a faint bit of his drool on him. Mm...I'm glad he doesn't have to see me like this...

* * *

 _Kill her. Kill her. Kill her. I'll kill her, I swear. Kill her. Kill her. Kill her. Kill her._

If I keep biting my nails, they're going to be bloody. What did she do to Hikki? He never so much as even moved after sitting down. What photographs? _What did that interloper do?_ She was lying, with that last part. I could tell if he called her. I can make out his voice, even if he WAS in the other room over a phone. He never called her. But again, what photographs? _What photographs?_

Ping. Mail. Sender, Yukinoshita. File attached. Sleeping Hikki cuddling a Pan-san plush. Oh, how cute. I can only see red. I'm starting to shake...Sable looks worried. Carefully, I set myself on my bed, laying down and closing my eyes. Tomorrow is Saturday. I'll just take him for myself, then. I'll meet up with him, and we can have a nice day together without her. A day with just me and Hikki. I'll beat her then. I'll make his heart swell with enough love to the point of bursting. All the stops, everything I've got. When I'm done with him, he'll want to elope...my time is coming. Time to shine. I close my eyes smiling, excited for tomorrow, for him. Drifting to sleep, I think pleasant thoughts.

 _Kill her. Kill her. Kill her. Kill her._


	19. Chapter 17

Very slowly, I began to regain my senses. First came the sensation of something soft, thick, and fluffy being laid over my body, with something equally soft (yet uncomfortably warm) under my head. Then, the horrible, pulsing headache. My hand reached up and covered my eyes, and I let out a soft groan. _What happened last night? So hard to think…_ _I remember something with tea, and I got really tired...then the nightmares set in._ As I opened my eyes, my vision however was obscured. A gray silhouette was slowly reaching down to my head, a smile plastered upon it. It was female in shape, with a hint of pink coming from the area where its eyes _should_ be. It almost appeared to be made of some manner of translucent static, something about it not _quite_ human, despite the figure it was donning. I froze, words caught in my throat, and closed my eyes, leaving them shut for but a moment before reopening them. It was gone. Very slowly, I sat up. I could see daylight trickling in through the window, the snowstorm seemingly subsided. I breathed a sigh of relief at that, and looked around. Still dimly lit...ah, what's this comforter!? Light blue Pan-san merch?! _Mr. Panda?!_ _Oh, well technically pandas are bears. Maybe this isn't that bad._ Still, did Yukinoshita tuck me into bed? The sudden deep urge to die fills my body. Rather than get up, I chose to lay back down and put the pillow over my face, bringing the comforter on top of that. Maybe the weight combined with my own desire to stop existing will be enough to stop my body's response. Where is Yukinoshita, anyway…? In her room? With a few shakes, I tumble the comfortable bedding off of my form, standing up. I nearly fall backwards, my legs like jelly, but gradually waking up along with the rest of my body. Ignoring the specter, I awkwardly wobbled my way towards Yukinoshita's door. On the other side, however, I heard some very... _worrying_ sounds. Quickly, I was back on the couch, sitting up as straight as a pole. _Let's just wait, then! Ah, where's my phone?_ Next to me on the floor was my bag, which I quickly scooped up. Inside, my cellphone, almost never used; it's rare for me to get calls and texts from people other than Komachi, but recently my phone has been exploding. As I thought this, sure enough, there were over a dozen mails from Yuigahama. The most recent one was a simple message.

"hikki! ( ´・ω・`)/ lets go out together today! meet me the train station by 10! i luv u!

\- yui

PS; Show up."

 _Ahhhhh, I don't wanna go anywhere...wait, what time is it? Hoh, 9am!? I'll never make it back to my home in time! And she said 'by' ten! Is she already there!?_ Sweating, I dialed Yuigahama's number, leaning back in my seat. Almost immediately, she answered.

"Yahallo, Hikki! Are you almost here?"

"A-Ah, no...I just woke up. Look, I...can make it, but I might be late. I need to get home and shower and-"

" _Get home?_ Where are you _now_ then?"

"Oh, that's...uh…"

 _I can't tell the truth! I'll die! I'll be killed!_

"...Zaimokuza's place. We watched PreCure last night and the snowstorm started."

"Ah, the chuuni? That's good, I'm glad you're spending time with your friend!"

"We're not really friends, per say…"

"But, Hikki?"

"Yeah?"

" _Are you sure you don't mean Yukinoshita's apartment, on her couch, next to a blue Pan-san comforter? Or should I call you Mr. Panda instead?"_

Ice. A freezing, chilling feeling deep in the pit of my gut. I stammered out a response seemingly on autopilot, mind frozen as the cold liquid that is anxiety coupled with paranoia began to sink inwards. On the other end, I could hear her giggling.

"But you wouldn't lie to me like that. How about I go to your place, instead? I'll meet up with you there!"

"R-Right...sure...t-that works...I'll be there in twenty minutes, give or take…"

"Okaaaay! I love you, Hikki! See you there!"

"Later…"

I hung up the phone, still shaking. Out of the corner of my eye, I could register that same static-like apparition leaning against a wall, smiling. I need to get going, now. Yuigahama will be waiting for me...but where's my coat? Ahh, where did she put it? Standing up, I attempted to retrace Yukinoshita's steps. It wasn't quite the door to her bedroom, but one near it...ah, here! Opening the door, I took a quick look inside. I could see coats, mine included, along with numerous boxes and rolls of film. They were hastily, sloppily labeled with different indications. "Pan-san". "Cultural Festival". "Service Club". The last one caught my attention the most. I don't recall her taking photos... I wonder if these are things she's collected over the months? Ahh, I shouldn't be snooping. I reached in and took my coat, slowly donning it. I've missed this comfortable warmth quite a great deal...like a blanket you can wear! I gave myself a goofy smile, and turned. Yukinoshita stood before me, the front of her body obscured from the light being cast behind her. In her hand, however, was a blade. A chef's knife to be exact. The smile was stuck on my face, as the muscles had frozen, preventing it from turning into a look of fear. Silently, she made eye contact with me. Then her mouth opened.

"...Would you care for eggs, Hikigaya…?"

At first, I squeaked. It was a horribly embarrassing sound, and her eyes glistened with admiration. _No, don't find that cute! Ahh, stab me!_

"N-No, thank you. Something came up, actually, and I need to leave...I was going to leave you a note or something, you were uh...still asleep by the time I had woken up."

"Ahh, I see...something at home? _Someone_ at home?"

"N-No. I just never got the chance to tell Komachi where I was. She was worried sick."

Acknowledgement washed over Yukinoshita's face, and she nodded.

"That's true. You never did call her like you were suppose to...I think you enjoyed my tea a little too much."

"Mm. It was very good. I doubt I'd have it again, though. I never want to feel like that again."

"You know, you looked like you enjoyed yourself _quite a bit_ as you slept. Twitching, wriggling in the throes of...sleep. P-Pleasant dreams?"

"The opposite, really...interesting choices in wording, Yukinoshita. Why were you watching my sleep, anyway?"

"You fell asleep in my living room. On my couch. I wasn't going to simply walk away so early in the night."

"Ahh, that's fair...still. I told Komachi I'd be home in twenty minutes...so, I really need to be going. Thank you for your hospitality."

"It required a great deal of patience to put up with your slothful nature, but I'll accept your modest apology."

Smiling, Yukinoshita gave me a small hug. Briefly, I wondered if she would plunge the knife into my back, but she did no such thing. As she pulled away, I could register a slight blush. I returned it. _Ahh, what's with this constant switching between fear and embarrassment?! How much of this is in my head?!_

"I'll...call you later, Hikigaya."

"Oh? S-Sure. I'll be waiting-"

I cut myself off, putting a hand over my mouth. Yukinoshita looked exceptionally pleased. I bowed my head and quickly left, retrieving my bag and bicycle before getting into the elevator. As I reached the ground floor, I sighed and wheeled it out. Mounting it, I began the slow trudge home. To Komachi, Kamakura...and Yuigahama.

* * *

 **Surmounting panic and paranoia in the mind of Hikigaya. Will it worsen? Who knows. His sanity is at about 75%, give or take.  
**


	20. Chapter 18

My legs were burning as I finally reached my house, the rapid exhaling of my breaths leaving white puffs. Door wasn't broken off of its' hinges, which was always a good sign! Hastily parking my bike, I made my way up the stairs, being careful to avoid slipping. Komachi is in there! Kamakura is in there! My ma- _research materials_ were in there! And knowing Komachi, she'd let her right into my room, Kamakura's mass wall of fur not deterring her in the slightest! Really, I should get a better door guard. Or everything guard. Kamakura, you're really bad at this. As I reached for the door, bag slamming into my right side with each step, the door opened. I almost fell forward, but caught myself. Standing in the doorway was Yuigahama, a nice smile plastered on her face.

"Welcome home, Hikki!"

"A-Ah, Yuigahama...good morning. Is Komachi awake?"

"Well, she is, I guess! But she's not here. She left you a note on table. Come in!"

She smiled, tugging me by my sleeve. I was dumbfounded and pulled forward into my own abode. _Komachi? Out? On a Saturday? Impossible. Improbable. She was here to let Yuigahama in...unless!_ As we reached our destination, she leaned down and picked up the note, handing it to me. Unmistakably, it was her handwriting; it even included one of her adorable self-caricatures.

 _Dear Brother,_

 _YuiYui is here! She said you two had a date planned. I figured that you two could use the privacy, so I left out to do a few errands! I won't be home for awhile (I'll make sure to take my time), so feel free to do_ whatever you want _.Be a good boy, though. With love (and lots of points!),_

 _Komachi Hikigaya._

That cheeky little...What's the big idea, leaving a highschool boy alone with a highschool girl?! Especially one who may slit my throat! Eugh. Yuigahama, however, was beaming. Pressing herself close to me, she began to whisper to me. The soft blowing in my ear caused me to shudder, blushing slightly.

"See? Just us. I wonder if this is what it's like when you're married…?"

"I-I wouldn't know. Your mother would probably be more informed on that than I am…"

"Dummy. That's when you're supposed to propose to a girl."

"I don't even have a ring."

Yuigahama pulled back with a giggle, her hand still gently clasping my sleeve. I returned the smile somewhat uneasily, beginning to fidget. _I just need a few moments alone. Time to activate my escape!_

"Hey, Yuigahama…?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to shower. I didn't get the chance to at Zaimokuza's, so…"

"Ah!"

She let go of my sleeve with a slightly surprised noise. It seems she's completely forgotten about me needing to get clean. She gave me an embarrassed grin but nodded, opting to instead sit down at the table. She seemed to be blushing a bit more, however, taking out of her phone in order to diffuse the situation brewing in her mind. I quietly made my way to the bathroom. Okay. Yuigahama - in house. Komachi - safe outside, or as safe as she can be. Kamakura - probably asleep. Me? Completely isolated with her. This is dangerous. One wrong move and I could raise a death flag. Another wrong move and I could raise a _complete yandere_ flag! Cringing, I began to undo my own outfit. A quick shower and a change into some clean clothes will me do well. It'll all be okay. As I throw my dirty clothes into the hamper, I turn the valves. Hot, then cold, test the water, a bit more cold, good. Immersing myself in the water, I give a gentle sigh of content. The heat is comforting, combined with soaps and shampoos for maximum relaxation. Sigh. What am I to do here? No matter what I do, something will happen. I can't not do anything because she'll get suspicious. If I do too much, she'll try to live here permanently. I can't wake up to Sable on my lap with Yuigahama on my arm while Kamakura grumbles in the window! Endings like that don't happen to loners! We only get BAD ENDS because we're made to be unlikable so the heroine can narrowly avoid death. This is the burden we so selflessly take on. With a clink, the water abruptly stopped, pipes protesting from the sudden lack of water as I turned the valve. As the sound of flowing liquid ceased, though, I could hear a panicked squeak and a door clicking shut. _No. Nuh uh. Nope. Didn't happen. Just low SAN score. Ignore it and it'll go away._ Locking the door for good measure, I began to change into something more...comfortable. A good loner always keeps a spare set of clothes hidden in the bathroom under his spare towel! Paranoid? Not in the slightest. Being prepared is the key to victory. So is diversity. Here; shorts and a T-shirt. Standard, casual, and most of all, clean. As I unlocked the door, I could hear another yelp followed by footsteps. _Ten seconds, Hachiman. Wait ten seconds. Let her hold onto SOME dignity._ Silently, I stepped out, rubbing the back of my still wet head.

Yuigahama sat peacefully, face flushed red and tapping on her phone. Sitting across from her, I cleared my throat.

"Hey, I heard some strange sounds in the shower…"

"D-Didn't come from me. Didn't hear anything. Nope."

"...Right. So, what did you want to do?"

"Uhm...well…"

She looked away, knees starting to rub together as she idly moved. _Danger, danger danger danger. Please, stop this cute, embarrassed and unsure acting. It's lethal! I'll die, you know?!_

"M-Maybe I can see Hikki's room?"

"Absolutely out of the question."

"Geh! Immediately shot down?!"

Yuigahama leaned over the table as she pouted. However, the motion accentuated her...ahh...it accentuated _Yuigahama's Yuis._ _Yes, a tasteful way to put it._ But, the motion only reinforced the notion in my mind that bringing her into my room was a mistake with horrendous complications. Averting my eyes (I'm such a gentleman, honestly) I began speaking.

"It's a mess, I'd definitely need to rearrange things, and a boy and a girl going into the boy's room while no one is around is a surefire route to mistakes."

"W-Why would it be a mistake?!"

"So you were planning that all along…?"

"Geh!"

She went redder, but instead raised her hands and shook her head.

"N-No, no! I just wanted to see, honest!"  
" _See what, exactly? Those noises in the shower-"_

"I already said they didn't come from me! Grr...if you don't show me I'll just go myself! Girlfriend's privilege!"

"T-That doesn't exist."

"Does too! Here I go!"

She pushed herself up from the table and began marching down the hall. I waited for her to stop, but she did not. _No. Not like this._ _This is not how the Hachiman will fall._ Standing, I began to briskly walk to catch up with her as she laid her hand on the door knob. As it began to turn, time slowed to a screeching halt. I could see my bed. My pillows. My collection of books stacked on the table. Everything. Her eyes widened in mild amazement, and the doubts began to swirl in my head. _No! What if she sees my embarrassing eighth grade syndrome manga that I never got rid of? Or if she gets the wrong idea from seeing a box of tissues that I keep on my desk incase I get sick?! Or she finds the_ _RESEARCH MATERIAL?!_ _No, no, no!_

"Wow! Hikki's room is a lot cleaner than mine!"

"Ah?"

"All these books and...it really says 'Hikki', I think."

"I-Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

As she stepped inside, I was forced to accept my fate. All I have to do is make sure she doesn't go into dangerous areas. With a soft sigh of happiness, she began pouring through my bookshelf, going over each title. However, she began to peer at me. Slowly, I could see her floating towards the mattress. I merely raised my brow in response, but quickly realized what she was up too as she lifted it, checking under it and responding to the lack of magazines with a soft huff.

"Hikki really does hide it well…"

"I have no clue what you're talking about. Really."

With a triumphant feeling looming in my chest, I decided to sit on my bed. _Yuigahama will never look in my old middle school textbooks hidden in my closet, underneath my summer clothes! Hoh! Truly, something that outplays even my little sister could easily outdo Yuigahama! Haha!_

However, my thoughts were interrupted by flipping pages. The closet door open. Yuigahama sitting on the ground, eyes wide in amazement. They cast downwards to her chest, however.

"I-I see...so Hikki likes this sort of thing…"

I couldn't respond. My own thoughts were replaced by screams of protest. She kept flipping pages however, gradually growing redder by the second. _I'm already dead. I'll kill myself while laughing wildly. It's the only honorable path to take._ She smiled up to me, a nervous sweat rolling down her forehead as she did so.

"H-Hey, Hikki…"

"No."

"I didn't even say anything!"

"No."

She began pouting again. Rather than staying there, however, she began to advance towards me, rather rapidly. I crawled backwards as she got closer, pinning myself to the wall next to my bed. She didn't stop, beginning to crawl on the soft mattress, towards me. It's really too warm in here. I can feel my face burning up. Haaaah, troublesome...

"N-Now let me talk! Hikki, can we...cuddle for a while?"

"...You're on my bed."

"That doesn't change the question!"

"You're...on my bed, Yuigahama."

"Hikki!"

Her arms squeezed me closer, and I tensed. As she leaned in closer, however, I could register a pair of lips near my neck. I tried to respond, say something, but the second she connected I froze, letting out a gasp. _What's with this five second stun? Totally imbalanced._ Her fingers dug into my shirt as she pressed her body closer, laying herself over me. Ashamedly I admit that I couldn't fight back, face burning as I winced. If things were any worse, I'd have probably let out a girly groan. _Seriously, Ebina would die if she saw this and Yuigahama happened to be a boy. That thought helps calm me down, though…_

"Hikki?"

"Y-Yes?"

"I love you."

"Saying that while doing this is really unfair…"

"I'm an unfair girl."

"H-How so?"

"Shhh…"

I could feel teeth. They weren't malicious, but they made my own grit in response. This is bad. If I stay here, I'll die. I'll die by making a mistake then being forced to marry Yuigahama. I'll then live happily with a dog, cat, little sister, and wife, becoming a corporate slave to support us all but not caring because I'll come home to a happy family! I can't do that! No!

Moving my head away from Yuigahama, I look at her face. She's panting, hands still dug into me, with a bit of drool dripping from the right corner of her mouth. Her chest rises and falls with each frantic breath, eyes barely open. I can see the buttons in her top are slightly undone, revealing but a glimpse of what lies beneath. However, as a responsible, somewhat foolish man, I look away.

"T-That's enough for now, _Yui…_ "

"A-Ah...no more?"

"Please…"

"Nnn...alright…"

Slowly, she pulled herself back, opting to just lay on me instead. She was warm; not uncomfortably so. I could make out the slightest hint of sweat on her face, cheeks burning as her eyes avoided meeting mine. I did the same, clearing my throat.

"You uh...you hungry?"

"A-A little...would you like to go ou-"

"I can cook something. Don't worry. For now, though...please get up."

"R-Right! Sorry!"

Almost immediately, Yuigahama springboarded off of my body, standing at attention as though she were in some manner of military. Rising to my feet, however, I pat her head twice.

"You're relieved."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it. Come on."

As I walked by her, however, she reached out, clasping her hand around mine. When I looked back to her, she merely smiled, nodding her head.

"Lead the way!"

"You know where the kitchen is…"

"But I want you to take me there anyway."

"What, are you a child?"

"I'm your girlfriend!"

"Gah…"

Logic I cannot argue with. Horrible, horrible logic. As I lead the way, I was a bit happy I decided to go along with it; my face was bright red from that. Seriously, she has so many hidden weapons completely ready to topple the S.S. Hachiman that it's not even funny! Is she a warship!? Perhaps an aircraft carrier...but I doubt the things on her chest could fly. They sure can bounce though. Hahaha...eugh. Even _I_ thought that was gross. Stopping at the table, I insisted she sit. However, she just kept clasping my hand.

"I can help!"

"No."

"Yes I can! My kitchen-item handling skills are top notch!"

"No."

"Hikkiiii~!"

"...You can pass me what I need when I need it. Alright?"

"Right! Ah, but what are you making?"

"Curry."

"You really like curry, huh?"

"A man can live off of curry and water for his entire life and still be a happy one."

"That's a yes…"

Resigning myself to working with Yuigahama, we began to work together. Water boiling, rice, vegetables, all of the works. Very diligently, she obeyed my every order to the letter, passing me exactly what I needed when I asked. It was surprising to see her so competent. Although, there was an accident.

"Yuigahama, knife please.

"Okay! Here you g-"

Her hand slipped as she released the grip a bit too early. It was my fault, honestly. I had been much faster on the uptake before; she probably had gotten used to it. The knife fell, but not before slicing my finger. As it clattered to the ground, she let out a gasp.

"A-Are you hurt?! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm-"

"It's just a cut, don't worry...it doesn't look that bad."

Her hands gripped mine, inspecting the wound. A single slice across the tip of my index finger, a viscous red liquid beginning to ooze out from it. It stung like Hell, but besides that it would heal nicely. However, Yuigahama wasn't content with that. She looked up to me.

"Here...my Mom used to do this when I got a bruise or something…"

Leaning down, she kissed the cut. I winced, both from the slight pain and surprise. She held her lips there for but a moment before pulling back, giving me a soft, worried smile. Then I pointed to my own lips.

"You, uh...got some…"

"Eh? Oh!"

Before I could even begin to reach for a napkin, she ran her tongue over her lips quickly. It was very unladylike and slightly worrying. The blood that was there, bringing an even redder color to her face, was now gone. Her eyes went a bit wide when she realized what she had done, and she covered her mouth with one of her hands.

"OhgoshI'msorrythatwasprobablyreallyweird-"

"Don't. Don't worry about it. The cut feels better already…I appreciate it."

She was blushing again. _Is that an appropriate response to blood ingestion? Eesh._

"Now; shall we get back to work?"

"Yeah!"

* * *

Salty. A hint of metal. Warm. Inside me. Inside of me...given freely. Some of him inside of me. I should've ran my tongue over that cut. I should've sucked it until it stopped bleeding. Some of him inside of me. Some of him inside of me. Ahh...I was so close to so much more, but he got embarrassed. It's fine. This is fine. Next time I won't stop. Hikki loves me, and I love him...it's been enough time, right? I think...we should become one.


	21. Chapter 19

Sitting at the table with Yuigahama after eating was odd. She was still flushed red, moving slightly in her seat. What she thinking about, exactly? Only here, quiet and so slow, could such an environment be considered bizarre. Clearing my throat, I spoke up.

"I hope it was to your liking. Your help in preparing it was much appreciated."

"A-Ah, yeah! It was, like, totally great! And I was happy to help! Sorry again about your-"

I raise a hand, silencing her. She quickly quiets up, giving me a slight nod. She does, however, stand. When I open my mouth to ask her what she's doing, she quickly raises her _own_ hand, reflecting the silence. _Ah! What high level sorcery you hold…_ With a smile, she moves next to me, quickly wrapping my arm with her own as she pulls it into her chest. As the stun affects my ability to move, she leans up just enough to plant a kiss on my cheek. While I should be used to such things by now, they're still quite effective against me. As I turn to her with a look of incomprehensible astonishment and embarrassment, she smiles, chuckling and rubbing her face on my shoulder.

"Hikki~."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Can I stay with you in your room tonight?"

Time froze. Everything took on a soft tinge of blue. I could see what appeared to be God himself (the Christian interpretation of God; you know, the one that doesn't have a name? Just 'God'? Weird. At least his son and Buddha had a really fun show) giving me a smiling thumbs up, white beard flowing in a breeze that I could not feel nor comprehend. Wait, is it God or the Judge from Phoenix Wright?

"My child, your life has lead to this. This is what your strife has been for. Claim your reward!"

With that, he thrust his hand outwards, and a magnificent gail burst me back into reality. Time was slowly beginning to tick forward again. Gotta think, fast!

"Absolutely not. Your parents would never agree to it. Your dad would probably come and beat me half to death…"

"Ah, they think I'm staying at Yumiko's!"

"M-Miura…? Is she in on this too?"

"No, I just asked for a favor, is all! So! Can I?"

"K-Komachi-"

"Isn't coming back tonight! She's staying with her friend!"

"What? No she isn't!"

"That's what she told me! Didn't she say it in her note?"

Judas. Backstabber. Double crosser. Rikimaru. I'll remember this. Yuigahama pressed herself against me a bit more firmly, her chest grinding against my shoulder. _Crap, this is bad. This is beyond bad. My choices in the great visual novel of life have lead me down a path with an unavoidable 'relationship deepening' scene!_

"I-I can stay on the couch and you can use my bed. It's fine, really."

"You really are a dummy, Hikki…"

Yuigahama pouted, punching my arm. _Ah, there was some power behind that!I_

"You'll be coming with me."

"No way. I don't want to become a father before I'm out of highschool."

"W-Who said anything about that?! I didn't! Hikki, what are you trying to say?!"

"Ah…"

I could see her face was bright red, with my own beginning to turn the same shade. For the first time since middle school, I began feverishly stumbling over my own words, attempting to find the fire blanket to put out the rising inferno. However, in doing so, I spilt oil, dropped dry wood, and broke a window. It wasn't until Yuigahama placed a finger on my lips that I stopped. She began quietly, arm quivering.

"Uh...well...if it's with Hikki, then…,"

 _Don't finish that sentence. Please. I'm begging you. Don't finish it._

"I wouldn't mind…"

A small sound resembling a drawn out gasp emerged from my lips, and I felt somewhat dizzy. Her chest was beginning to rise a bit more frequently, breathing becoming shallow as she looked at me with that same unsure expression. _Say no. Say no. Say no. I'm sorry, but no. I'm sorry, but-_

"Y-You can come. I'll take the floor…"

"W-We can share the bed."

"That's not a good idea…"

"Please."

"Yui-"

"Hikki, please…I want to do this. Y-You do, too...I love you. You love me...right?"

 _Urk._ I respond truthfully.

"Of course I do. Don't make me say it, though…"

"Then...what's the problem?"

"..."

Everything she was saying _was_ logically correct. From a purely third person standpoint, people dating for this long would normally be doing these things. But...emotions aren't logical.

"I'm not ready."

"Eh?"

"It's...nothing to do with you, really. I just...don't feel ready."

"Ahh, so that's how it is…"

Yuigahama solemnly nodded her head, appearing a bit dejected. However, she looked right back up to me, smiling.

"If that's the case, I just have to be patient, right?"

"I-I guess...you sure are hellbent on this, though."

"A-ah?! No! I mean, I-"

"...It's fine. Really. It's...sort of flattering, in a weird way."

' _Weird' doesn't even begin to describe it. I feel all gushy and warm inside, yuck. I continued._

"The offer still stands for me to use the floor."

"Hikki...I want you in bed _with_ me...just, hugging me or something…"

"Ahhh...that so…"

"Don't reply like that, dummy! I just...I was thinking, if that's what it's like for married couples…"

 _Plok. Critical shot right through the chest. Even with my stance on marriage, something about that was unexpectedly cute! What's happening here?!_

"Hoh, I get it now…"

"S-So will you?"

"...As long as you don't try anything funny, sure."

She gave me an earnest smile before leaning up slightly, planting a kiss on my lips. This girl really is a handful…

* * *

There's someone else, isn't there? It's Yukinon, right? There's no way he'd reject me if she wasn't around. The way he looked away, stammering, he was covering for her. Trying to lie. She's got claws in him. Horribly venomous ones, poisoning his mind and corrupting his heart. Even now, as I'm offering everything I have, he rejects me? No...he's weak to a direct assault. I almost had him earlier. If I try that now, he'll crumble. He'll melt. I'm a horrible, selfish girl. But I'll take him, everything he has, and claim it as my own. When we become one, there'll be no room left for an outsider. A pesky, black-haired outsider, intent on stealing what is rightfully _mine_.


	22. Chapter 20

The walk to the bedroom was silent, an air of disaster looming overhead. Each step seemed to take an eon, the soft sound of impact made by cotton-covered feet echoing throughout the house. I couldn't even see Kamakura anywhere. That's probably for the best; he's a smart little guy. He could most likely _feel_ the panic in the air and went to go hide under the sofa; assuming he can fit under there, of course. Yuigahama strode behind me, her steps a mere three paces behind me, and her breathing quiet. It was nerve-wracking. _Hey, you're the energetic one. Say something to lighten the mood! I feel like I'm about to spontaneously liquify into a puddle of anxiety._ Any tingle, sense of hesitation I felt in my body was multiplying rapidly, reproducing faster than I could qualm the one previous. With a soft, ominous click, the door to my room unlocked and creaked open. The lights were off, leaving only the silhouettes of various pieces of furniture. A faint hint of moonlight shone in through the window, some objects illuminated in a ghostly silver light. I pondered the pristine quiet incredibly briefly before I fumbled, reaching for the light switch. A shame to ruin such a blissfully quiet room, but I doubt Yuigahama shared my sentiments of deep awe and boundless joy when it came to the silent symphony of the night. As the light brought glorious incandescence to the area, I registered the disappearance of a vague visage in the corner of the room. A curvy, feminine figure, with a complexion that I couldn't quite make out; shifting in and out of reality, mostly out, with a clearly defined smile and a pink hue where its eyes should be located. Whatever it was, it was gone. Just my imagination. Stress, yeah? Horrible thing. Yuigahama, however, pressed herself against me, urging me into the room. I couldn't speak, just complying. Both of us were terrified. Once she was inside, I very carefully closed the door, the latch clicking to indicate that it was closed. In the very last attosecond of the door being opened, I could register that same smile and slightly translucent being looking in from the hallway. I turned my head just enough to get a look at Yuigahama, who had taken a seat on the bed. She was looking at me, biting her lower lip with a chewing motion as I stood. With a deep sigh, I turned to face her.

"I call the wall."

"A-alright, Hikki…"

 _That soft, scared voice._

"...It'll be okay. We're just sleeping…"

"Y-Yeah. Just sleeping! Nothing else."

 _The doubt in that last bit. A soft curve of a smile forming at the edge of her lips._

"S-So, Hikki...c-come to bed."

 _Hrrk._

Very slowly, Yuigahama moved to the right, patting the bed next to her while wearing an uneasy smile, brows slightly furrowed. My heart was beginning to pound in my chest. There was something... _wrong_ about her. Her lips were glistening. Her eyes seemed...particularly engaging, and although I was nowhere near close enough to her, I could still pick up the faintest hint of strawberry coming from her hair. Each slight muscle spasm of her legs or arms caused me to freeze, her chest rising and falling with each breath. Ahh, I'm getting warm. This is just the lie of youth! Remember your past hardships! Remember that-

 _I'm about to be in bed with a girl._

Fwooooooosh. Nope, it's too late. Blushing like an idiot.

"H-Hikki? Are you alright?"

"Yeah! Totally! A-Okay, haha..:"

"...What was that?"

"Ignore it. Move over a little more…"

She complied promptly, like a well trained dog. Urging my legs forward, I sat next to her and pet her head. She seemed not to understand the gesture was insinuating that she was a properly learned bitch, but accepted the sensation regardless, rubbing herself against my hand. However, her arm wrapped around mine. She fell back, tugging me with her. As we fell towards the bed, I could see her blushing, smiling face. My head connected with something soft. It was not her, ahem, _Yuis_ , but rather my own pillow. Then she moved.

"Hey! W-What're you-"

"Shh."

Fingers pressed against lips as Yuigahama moved her body, one of her legs slowly moving over me. I felt a twinge of panic when I realized what she was doing, and I attempted to sit upright. However, the digits on my lips quickly moved down to my chest at the first sign of movement, pinning me onto my mattress. I could _feel_ the adrenaline beginning to course through my veins, breathing becoming more labored as the sound of my heart throbbed in my ears. She sat up just a bit - on top of me - straddling and pinning me to the bed with her waist. She then leaned over my trapped body, gripping my wrists with her hands, effectively disabling them. _Bad. This is bad._

"Yuiga-"

"Yui."

"Can you-"

She moved before I could finish the statement, and I let out a horrifically unmasculine sound. It was one of shock, with the slightest bit of terror accenting the fringes as I saw myself losing control of the situation. I can handle words, banter and debates...but physical attacks, I crumple against. Especially physical attacks of _this_ variety. The girl currently on top of me let out a smile.

"I think someone's ready after all."

"Eh? What?"

"Don't play dumb, Hikki…"

As she moved again, I let out a grunt. Her weight was pressing against me in a horribly uncomfortable way. That's not to say that she's overweight by any measure, but rather the pressure was causing me discomfort. Her smile widened a bit, face dark red with beads of sweat rolling down her temples. She was pressing against a horribly dangerous place, and I winced.

"Hikki, come on...it's not good to lie to yourself, you know? You gotta be...genuine~."

 _Ow. Ow, ow ow. Please._

"I'm...not lying to myself about anything…"

"Hmph. At least some part of you is being honest...maybe I could meet him?"

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Liar~."

I was starting to sweat buckets. Even my voice is cracking...a-am I seriously about to lose this battle?! It can't end like this! No!

 _Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt._

"Ah, Hikki...y-your phone-"

"I'll get it!"

"It can wait…"

"What if it's Komachi? I need to know. Please, get off of me."

"Aaauuuuu…"

Yuigahama sighed, rolling off of me and onto her side, facing away from me. The caller ID; Yukinoshita. _Oh, thank you God or God-like being!_ With haste, I answered.

"Moshi Moshi."

"Hikigaya. I've been waiting for your call."

"Ah, Komachi, I've been waiting for you to call. It was very nice of you to tell me that Yuigahama was spending the night."

" _What?"_

"You'll be back tomorrow, right? Good."

"I'm coming over."

"That's not necessary. I can entertain Yuigahama perfectly well by myself. Your friend will be mad if you leave early. Plus, it's dark and dangerous."

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

"I said that's not-"

 _Click._

"Ah…"

 _Really, how troublesome..._

* * *

 **A thousand apologies! I've been getting curb stomped with work. Hell, I've been working on this for three days in my free time! Thank you for the continued support, even if I've been locked down.**


	23. Chapter 21

The knock on the front door was stern, forceful - slightly hurried. You see, normally when you knock on a door, you space out each individual thump. _Knock-knock-knock!_ These, however, were in rapid succession, knuckles blazing across the wooden door; and not stopping. Yuigahama sat up, half open eyes blinking hazily.

"Ah...who's that, this late? Komachi…?"

"Komachi has a key…"

"Then...w-who is it?"

"Only one way to find out. Stay here."

"Eh?! Why?"

"I don't want you getting hurt."

"...W-Why did you act so cool just now?! What are you plotting to do to me?!"

"Eh…? Nevermind. Stay here."

Yuigahama crawled under the covers, peeking out at me from the foot of my bed and comforter.

"Be safe, Hikki...if something happens, just yell!"

"If I have time too."

"Geh…"

She shook slightly as I closed the door. Far, far down the hall I could practically see the door shaking on its' hinges, dust flying from the wall beginning to crack. As I took a single step it flew forward, a stygian beast with blood red eyes flying in towards me at breakneck speeds, claws drawn - it appeared very feline in shape. I could register a voice as it descended upon me; and I blinked. Gone was the creature, the door still being not so gently knocked upon. I blinked once more, legs slowly unstiffening as I began my advance. One lock. Another. And the one on the door. As I pulled the door open, I peeked. Staring back at me was a ghostly white figure composed of snow, bright pink lights its' 'skull' where its' eyes should be glaring at me. I could register a horribly sharp, painful static screeching, and once more, I blinked.

Yukinoshita stood in the doorway, staring at me with a sense of unease. One hand clutching my head, I opened the door just a bit more.

"Komachi ran into you and told you to come in her place?"

"Correct."

A good cover. Very Komachi-like.

"Has she been-"

"Don't talk about it. Please. I don't want to think anymore, just sleep."

"Right. Take me too her, then…"

"...She's in my room."

"Ah. I see. You're disguting."

"She forced me in!"

"Disgusting...second door on the left?"

"Ah...how did you know?"

"Lucky guess based on the general make of your house."

"Right…"

Creepy. Totally creepy. She stepped ahead of me, leading the way in MY house. I felt uneasy thinking about it, but followed at a distance. I must look like a disheveled mess. Eugh. She did, however, stop outside of the door, pointing at it. My eyes met hers, and the directive was clear.

 _Sacrifice yourself._

I quietly muttered 'demon' under my breath, and opened the door.

"It seems Komachi ran into a certain someone…"

"D-Don't tell me Haruno is out there!"

"...Close enough."

"Hello, Yuigahama."

"Yukinon!?"

 _And now it gets fun._

* * *

 _ **Loud apologizing. Sorry, I've been getting four hours of sleep in between work shifts. I drafted this up as quick as I could and I apologize for being so damn busy/exhausted. Every review asking me to update was a knife in my side - not in an angry way, in a pleading "I'M SORRY" way. But that doesn't mean stop - it keeps me going. This is incredibly short and serves as a brief move into 21 (which is coming HOPEFULLY soon) and to let everyone know what's going on.**  
_


	24. Chapter 22

Yuigahama shifted her gaze between Yukinoshita and myself, each slight stare in my direction laced with confusion and anger. Slowly, I put my hands up in a gesture of self defense; that I was just as confused as she was, just as unsure of where this was going, and just as startled. In reality, I knew two of those in advance. The plot was simple; Yukinoshita defuses Yuigahama's advances. Easy. But now that she's here...what am I to do? What will she do? The loud sound of a throat being cleared drew my attention to the Ice Queen.

"I was summoned here by Komachi-san. She caught me on a walk and told me I was urgently needed here...but it seems that all I'm interrupting is a plot of Ecchigaya's."

"Eh? What?! This wasn't-"

"Wasn't what? A plan of yours, to trick Yuigahama into the worst decision of her life?"

"H-Hey! This isn't anything like that, Yukinon! I'm just watching Hikki tonight, Komachi asked!"

"...She left you alone with _him_ , unsupervised? I fear she may have your soul marked for collection…"

"Thanks, I've always wanted to be cast as Lucifer."

"Lucifer? Hah. You'd never be able to fill his shoes. Beelzebub is more your type. Lord of flies...disgusting, just as you are."

"Beelzefer...flies…?"

"Ugh. Now that you're here - and intruding in my room - what do you plan to do, Yukinoshita."

"Watch over you two, of course."

"What?!"

The outburst was from a clearly distraught Yuigahama, leaning over the edge of the bed to the point where she was almost falling off of it. Yukinoshita folded her arms under her (lack of a) chest, glaring at me rather than the one who just caused the commotion.

"It wouldn't be right to leave you alone in this man's 'care'. I'd be an accessory to whatever it is he's going to do to you."

"Honestly, I just want to sleep…"

"Y-Yukinon, you're being mean to Hikki in his own home!"

"Hoh? I thought I was merely protecting my friend."

"Really, can I just go take the couch? I want this night to be over."

"Hikki!"

"Mm. That would be wrong, forcing you out of your own bed in your own home...but we can't use Komachi's or your parents, and the couch is too small for both of us…"

Yukinoshita rubbed the underside of her chin before giving a slight twitch. I could almost see the physical manifestation of a ghostly light bulb.

"I suppose we all just have to...share the bed?"  
"Wh-"

"Absolutely not, Yukinoshita."

"Why not? The obvious solution would be to have you in the middle where we can both keep an eye on you. This way, we all get to sleep soundly."

"B-But, Yukinon-"

"Sleep soundly? Do you have any idea what you're insinuating?"

"That friends share a sleeping space? If I recall correctly, you've slept next to Totsuka and Zaimokuza. I personally have been forced to share my bed with Yuigahama. What's the problem here?"

"Yukin-"

"There's a significant issue regarding our genders and the differences between them…"

"Oh? Is that it? Don't worry. I plan to keep a close eye on you, to protect the purity of both Yuigahama and myself."

"Aaaaaaugh!"

Yuigahama rammed herself facedown into a pillow, falling back with it. She thrashed around idly like a dying insect before finally becoming still. Still face down, she began to speak - somewhat muffled.

"Fine, whatever...let's just go to bed, okay?"

"Yuigahama, you can't be seri-"

"She's on board with it, Hikigaya. Are you worried?"

"T-That's-"

I could feel myself growing warmer. Don't blush now! That'll look super, super bad!

"Don't get any indecent thoughts. It's just sleeping. Now, where is the bathroom? I must change."

"You bought sleeping clothes?! Did you plan this?"

"Of course not. Just lucky, I suppose."

I could see the faintest hint of a smile as I walked past her, opening the door and stepping out. She followed suit, Yuigahama still lying defeated on the bed. Yukinoshita pressed the door closed behind her, walking uncomfortably close behind me. I could _hear_ her breathing as she exhaled and inhaled dangerously near me. I could also hear a slightly wet sound. I could envision her, in my mind's eye, opening her mouth to say something then immediately closing it as she wasn't sure of it.

"Here. I'll go back to the room."

"You'll do no such thing."

"Eh…? Why not?"

"I can't have you alone with her. Who knows what you'll do."

"So you'd rather be alone with me?"

"That-...I'm willing to make sacrifices for her."

"Right...well, there'll be no sacrificing or any sort of deranged, degenerate fantasies you have about me. I'll wait, sure. Close the door behind you, lock it if you want."

"Mm. I'll just be a moment...no peeking."

"Wouldn't if you paid me."

Yukinoshita gave me a gentle grin before stepping inside. I could hear the door click shut...but not the follow up of a latch. This has gotten out of hand. Sharing a bed with them is absurd. BEYOND absurd. This is like a fever dream...or an unofficial fan work for some popular manga. I could hear clothes rustling in the room next to me, causing me to shiver and move further away from the door. Seriously, absurd. Now that Yukinoshita is here WITH Yuigahama, I can't say no to both of them - they'd just follow me wherever I went! And I can't exactly sneak away...I can't leave them both in my house alone. It's not that I don't trust them, it's more that Yuigahama would start speaking to Yukinoshita about what she found in the closet and then I'd REALLY be in for it! I'd have to change schools. Countries! I'd never live it down. Finally, the door clicked, and opened up. I prepared for the worst...but instead found Yukinoshita wearing a surprisingly _cute_ outfit. Matching pajama top and bottom, purple, yet covered in black cat paw prints. _Cute. Too cute._

"What are you looking at? Creepy."

 _Too bad the person it's on is totally uncute._

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Let's go. I want this night to be over with."

"What's the matter? Not fond of being able to sleep between two beautiful ladies?"

"One of you is planning something and that makes me incredibly uncomfortable, coupled with the fact that I'll be in skin-contact with both of you. It's...weird."

"Don't get any ideas~."

"Don't plant any in my head!"

"I've done no such thing, pervert. Now, let's go, shall we? Yuigahama might already be asleep."

With a quiet grumble, I began to step in the direction of my room. However, Yukinoshita's hand grasped mine firmly, squeezing it.

"What are you-"

"Nothing. Let's go."

She squeezed me a bit tighter. Oh. _Oh._

"Buh…"

We stepped in tandem, Yukinoshita striding beside me, giving a faint smile. It was nothing like Haruno's; it suited her, nicely. When I opened the door, she relinquished her grasp, and we stepped in. Leaning back against the headboard was Yuigahama, idly flipping through my research material. We both froze like deer in headlights. Then Yukinoshita stepped in.

The pleasant aura was immediately replaced with one found only in the fifth circle of Hell.

"Ahh, I see. Hikigaya, just what were you two planning on doing with all of this~?"

"W-Wait, Yukinon, you've got it all wrong!"

"Just kill me."

"Hikki!?"

* * *

 **A THOUSAND APOLOGIES but hey I got to come home early from work due to problems and managed to churn this out woo don't worry violent yandere groupsex will occur next chapter maybe that is a joke who knows (do you?)**

 **On a serious note I have plans to write an Isshiki one-shot later. Most people probably won't like it - it'll get messy.**


	25. Chapter 23

With Yuigahama to my right and Yukinoshita to my left, most people would consider themselves lucky. They would think that they were slain heroically and ended up in a perfect Heaven, rewarded for their good deeds. I, however, feel quite the opposite. I can feel piercing glares from both sides of my body as I try to lay completely still, even stifling the rate of my breathing. Yuigahama's hand clenches mine, squeezing it tightly, to the point where her nails are starting to dig into my wrist. Yukinoshita, however, seems content with just locking her fingers with mine. I think I can register purring.

"You know, Hikigaya, you don't need to pretend to be asleep."

"Yeah Hikki, we know you're awake."

I shudder in response, but begin to snore. Sweat rolls down my temples as I shake under the covers, the two women at my side growing increasingly more discontent. _Leave me alone! I'm sleeping! Can't you see that?!_

"Ahh, Yukinon, I think he really IS asleep...what should we do?"

"I'm sure that Hikigaya must have a photo album of his Middle School years around here somewhere. Perhaps we should locate that and educate ourselves?"

"Ohh, that could be fun!"

"NO!"

Bolting upright, I frantically shift my eyes between the two. Yuigahama is stifling gut-wrenching laughter while Yukinoshita merely smiles.

"Ahh, rest well?"

"Snrk...I-I think he had a nightmare…"

"...I'm going to the couch."

"Oh no you're not!"

 _Pomf_. Yuigahama presses herself against me, pushing me back down onto the mattress. Yukinoshita joins her, pinning down my free arm with her weight.

"Come on, Hikki! Let's start a family!"

"H-What?!"  
"Yes, Hikigaya. I'm sure that my genes should be able to purify any of yours that I find... _distasteful._ "

"Yeah! Come on, it'll be fun!"  
"G-Get off of me!"

"Don't struggle. This is supposed to be romantic for us all, you know."

"Yukinon, get his pajamas!"

"Right."

"S-Stop! Don't! Get off! GET OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I bolt upright in the shadows of the room, sweat rolling down my brow. Across from me, on the two futons I had set up, lie Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, both sound asleep. Still shaking slightly, I sit there, staring at the two as I pant. My heartrate is going crazy. With a particularly loud sigh, I lean back, attempting to get comfortable again. Slowly, I blink.

When my eyes open again, Isshiki's face is dangerously close to mine.

"Hi, senpai!"

I let out a scream.

* * *

 **This is a fairly short mini/joke chapter to let you know where I've been. I'm not dead - but I feel like that, for the most part. A lot of real life stuff has come up that has drastically cut down my time/motivation to continue working on the story. I haven't abandoned it, not at all - but I find myself extremely tired and time-crippled 80% of the time. I still come by daily to read when I can on my breaks, but for actual writing there's next to no time to actually sit down and do it. Hell, I only get six hours on my off days anymore. I wrote this up as an apology and update, so please forgive me.**

 **To everyone else who writes and reads this, keep up the good work. I'm counting on you!**


	26. Chapter 24

Dark was the night.

Darker was the aura of malice, anger, and possessing intent that swirled around my fairly small bedroom. Yuigahama to my left, and Yukinoshita to my right, both facing opposite directions their backs to me as I stayed put in the center, on my back, staring at the ceiling with a mild sense of panic. Any slight shift, down to a leg or arm movement, would cause them to turn their head subtly. They thought they were coy about it, but I've become used to feeling eyes on me. My ability to feel the eyes of predator is unmatched! But, this is incredibly uncomfortable. I'm a side sleeper! But if I turn to one, the other will snap my neck instantly. I wear a frown that no one else can see, and fidget. The rustling of hair on pillow cases alerts me to their investigation, and I let out a sigh.

"Let me sleep on the floor. I can't do this."

"No way."

"Out of the question, Hikigaya."

"Look, I can't sleep on my back! It's uncomfortable!"

"So sleep on your side, Hikki!"

" _Yes, Hikigaya. Feel free to sleep on your side."_

W-What was with that venom in the last line?! Was that a threat? That totally was, you know?! With sweat rolling down my brow, I began to toss and turn, attempting to get comfortable without giving one side bias. Alas, it was completely impossible. If I turned too much, I would be closer to one than the other, and the one opposite of me would begin pulling out their respective knife! Aaaaugh!

Wait.

Yes!

Flipping over completely, and drawing a slight gasp from Yukinoshita as I do so, I begin to lie on my stomach. With a slight sigh of triumph, I can finally feel my body begin decompressing. Stomach sleeping is the ultimate way to sleep, in retrospect. Letting the entire front area of your form sink into a blissfully soft surface is almost like letting it leech the riajuu's memetic tendencies and parasites out of you, purifying each and every zone of your being until you awake as the ultimately refreshed lonesome creature you were always meant to be. Truly, stomach sleeping is the laziest- I mean, most effective way to sleep. I actually smiled as I heard them both sigh, my eyes closed as I calmed my breathing. I can ignore them like this. I've won! Hikigaya is number one in the wooooooooorld! However, my eyes do open briefly. I can see Yuigahama looking over her shoulder at me, her face mostly visible as her gaze locks with mine. She's wearing the same smile as she was earlier, eyes barely open. Slowly, however, her tongue runs across her own lips, and I feel my face flush. I can't look away as her tongue continues to do slight movements. Flicking out nonchalantly, moving in small circles…

Briefly, I register myself licking my own lips. Those movements, although I can't _physically_ feel them...I can feel them against my own. I'm twitching slightly as she continues, the blush on her face growing stronger and stronger as I crumple. What is this crazy ranged attack?! It's insane! It's unfair! It's…dangerously arousing. Ah, no, I meant dangerously wrong! Yuigahama shifts a bit as she begins biting her own lip, a small film of sweat running down her face as her face is as red as her hair. Silently, she mouths my name as her legs grind against themselves, unable to stay still. Wait a second. I look a bit closer. Where is her hand…? I can see her arm, and I can register enough movement to tell that muscles within it are transmitting movement down to her wris. Trailing it with my eyes, the logical detection would be that it ends at…-

DANGEROUS!

The slight grin she wears blossoms forward a bit more at my realization, and I recoil. Her free hand moves up to her lips, pressing a finger against them as she keeps her eyes set on mine. I hate this. I hate this, but I can't look away. I can't bring myself to close my eyes for more than a few seconds. The slight hint of drool coming down the corner of her mouth, the silent panting as she occasionally seizes softly, the restless movement of her legs, it's all...sickeningly entrancing. If I turn my head, it'll just hurt my neck...I-I'm stuck like this. She suddenly winces, however, closing her eyes completely for but a moment. With her line of sight snapped, I close my own eyes, blushing furiously. I manage to keep them closed, despite feeling her eyes on me. I can see her through my eyelids, watching me and still going. Eventually, the feeling of being watched fades, coinciding with a soft sigh, and I am alone.

I didn't sleep that night. Time passed at an agonizingly slow pace. When sunlight finally began to beam into the room and I felt Yukinoshita rising, I put myself on a timer. Sixty seconds after she leaves, I rise as well, the dark bags under my eyes intensified by exhaustion. Advancing towards the bathroom, I open the door and step inside. However, the door closes behind me, and before I could register what's happening due to my extremely slowed reaction time, I'm assaulted by the cat. Yukinoshita's ability to attack is faster than a cobra! Her arms snake around my torso, clinging me closer to her as she proceeds to rest her head on my chest.

"Y-Yukino-"

"Silence."

She keeps herself pinned to me, putting so much pressure into her hug, it's as if she's trying to merge with me. Shakily, I bring my hand to my head and pet her. I can't fight back. If I appease her, that will be enough. She twitches a bit at first, but begins to actively move her head into my hand, grinding against it. Slowly, her grip loosens on me until it's gone completely, and she stands before me blushing.

"Sleep well…?"  
"Not at all."

"Mm. I found myself to be quite comfortable."

I give her a weary grin.

"I'm sure. Do you mind if I splash some water on my face or something…?"

"Not at all, Hikigaya. Take your time."

I bend down, turning on the sink. Leaning over the basin, I let the water run over my hands and through my fingers. However, in the mirror, I can see Yukinoshita still standing there. Creeeepy.

"Uh...did you...need something?"

"Oh, not at all. Why do you ask?"

"Then, why are you still here?"

"Am I not supposed to be?"

Gah. Not this.

"Nevermind…"

Grumbling, I splash the water into my face. It's cool, and a bit shocking. I repeat the process a few times, letting the liquid wake me up a bit more each time, as well as returning my desperately depleted SAN score. When I finish, Yukinoshita passes me a towel, which I take gratefully. However, as I begin to thank her, she moves back forward. Her arms stretch out, and I move back - directly against the sink.

"H-Hey, what are you-"

I'm cut off by Yukinoshita. She places her lips on mine, almost forcefully, and holds herself there with her eyes closed. Immediately, my eyes shoot towards the door, wide with fear. Her arms have gripped themselves against my side, nails digging into my back. Her lips are soft. Almost always worn in a pout or a frown, I'm not sure what I expected. However, I cannot enjoy this. Yuigahama...if she comes in here now, I'm dead. I'm deader than dead. Yukinoshita holds the pose for another twenty seconds, though it feels like five minutes, and finally pulls back with a slight smile on her face.

"Good morning, honey."

I'm at a lack for words. Yukinoshita is dangerous. This entire day is dangerous. But, it's over...soon enough. I'm glad Yuigahama is still asleep.

* * *

"Hey, mama. I'll be home a bit later today…"

"Ah, Yui! How'd it go?"

"Not as good as I would've liked...Yukinoshita showed up."

"What? How did she know?!"

"Hikki's little sister told her where we were!"

"Nooo! That was such a good plan, too…"

"I-It's okay! We still were able to share a bed, just...all of us…"

"Yui! You didn't!"

"No, we didn't! I didn't! Nothing happened!...well, almost nothing…"

"Hooooh?"

"He, uhm, was able to see me...ahhh…"

"Don't worry about it. Continue on course, dear. Don't let that raven haired outsider take away your husband."

"Yes, mama~. I love you, see you later!"

"Bye bye, sweetie!"

Closing my phone, I give a glance to the sky outside of Hikki's window. I'm glad to have an understanding parent like my Mom. Whenever she tells me the story of how she and Dad met...it's so strikingly similar to me and Hikki, it fills me with determination. Ah, I just hope Dad's doing alright. She's always so assertive with him when I'm not around, never keeping his shackles comfortable. Mm. But, he'll be okay. Everything I've learned, I've picked up from Mom's teachings! And I'll be a better wife to Hikki than anyone could possibly imagine! Yeah! Go Yui!

* * *

 **ayy what up friends**

 **Don't worry, the Isshiki oneshot is still up there. I was going to write THAT today, but I got this going instead. It's kind of brutal though, so people may be spooked.**

 **Also possibly more Chinamizawa?**


	27. Isshiki OS heyo

**So hey this one is a bit mean. If you don't like abuse, however mild, then I suggest you skip this. This is the Isshiki one shot AFTER I decided against some of the more horrible things.**

* * *

We go now to a distant time and place, an alternate reality in the unending ocean of parallel dimensions. The exact coordinates are unknown, but when one finds themselves there, they know. The only known contact from the reality was a brave explorer, who was only able to send one message from the strange place. The message was a cryptic question, and with it an equally cryptic answer.

 _Can such a Hell truly be man made?_

 _If Isshiki is in charge, then yes._

The cuffs were hanging sturdy against my wrists as I was lain against the wall, my arms held stiffly upright against the stonework as my legs were left free on a sitting pose on the floor. With my good, non-swollen eye, I could barely see through the darkness. Vague shapes of furniture, instruments of torture and pain, and God knows what else. My lips were dry, and upon running my tongue over them, I was met with a horribly bitter, metallic taste that seemed to stick and clot on my barely moist tongue, drying it further. I had been unconscious for quite some, by that point. I'm not entirely sure why, either. I remember displeasing her. I remember snippets of a scolding...then a swift kick to the face, and a crack. The splitting headache, in reference, should've been a dead giveaway to the fact that head had made fairly rapid contact to a stone surface, but that's not important. In a vain attempt at seeking some comfort, I moved my arms against the shackles, the old steel digging into my wrists painfully.

To be honest, I'd much rather have them slit. As I contemplated this action, the door clicked.

"Ahh, senpai. Trying to leave is no good, you knoooow?"

Instinctively recoiling, my arms stopped their movements and fell limp, legs attempting to slowly work themselves in a backwards crawl despite being backed to the wall. As the door closed behind Isshiki, I was momentarily bathed in suffocating darkness. Something about that - knowing that she was in there, but I couldn't see her - filled with me an even greater sense of dread, and my heart began to pound harder. However, the light clicked on but a moment later, bathing the small room in a yellowish light, produced by a cheap light bulb that was bought without any thought to long term alternatives. Just another indication of what I feared my fate would be. Stepping forward, she pulled a chair from the splintering brown table and pulled it forward, sitting in front of me. As she took her seat, I cast my face down to hide it from sight. I could still register her smile out of the corner of my clouded vision as she leaned forward, cheeks resting on her fists.

"Hey, hey, senpai~. Don't you have something to say?"

I remained silent. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. It was foolish, however, as almost immediately her foot shot forward and impacted into my stomach with a surprising amount of force, knocking the wind out of me and causing me a great deal of pain. I gagged as tears formed in my eyes from the agony, choking on air, _for_ air, and nearly vomiting. Isshiki, however, calmly put her leg right back down, keeping her soft smile.

"Come oooon. Be a good boy, senpai~. Maybe I'll pet your head if you do?"

I was still coughing up my own agony as she spoke, eyes closed and teeth digging into my lip as I attempted to stifle myself. Opening it slightly, I sawIsshiki's leg fly forward once more, and I braced for impact, seizing everything I could. However, it stopped just shy of where she had already kicked. She presses her foot against the point of contact, however and ground her heel into it, causing me intense discomfort.

"Say it. Say it or I'll kick you again. Or, maybe senpai is into that? Let's find out…"

"W-Wait! I'll...I-I'll say it, so please...so please, don't...don't…"

A wide smile beamed across her features as she leaned in extremely close to me. The vision in one eye was blurred, but the other was enough to take in the full horror of her visage. Eyes wide, smile frozen in time, and skin stained with a few splashes of brownish-red material. My gazing was, however, cut short, as the pressure on my gut was reappeared. I grimaced, wincing slightly as though I was a punished child.

"Say it."

"W-W...Welcome home, my...c-cute...wife..."

I choked out each syllable. I did my best to hide the venom in each word. I kept my eyes averted as I spoke, and kept them closed as I finished, unsure if she would accept it. Slowly, however, the pressure from my stomach receded, and a soft pair of lips placed themselves on mine. I winced, eyes still close as her mouth violated mine, a slimy, alien parasite wriggling its way inside and pressing against my tongue. I could taste my own long-dried blood once more as her tongue passed over my lips, and I wanted to scream. Nothing about this resembled a kiss. This was a lion devouring an antelope. When she finally pulled away, she seemed content, a blush on her face. My own pallid, pale cheeks did not reciprocate the color.

"See, senpai~? Was that so baaaad? Hey, hey, you're thirsty, riiiight?"

I gave a nod that was barely noticeable. She took out a bottle of water, unscrewing the top and holding the newly opened end towards my mouth. My lips parted instinctively, but as they did so the bottle was swiftly moved away.

"Ah-ah-ah! Say 'please'!"

"...P-please...honey…m-may I have some water…?"

Pleased, she placed the bottle in my mouth a bit assertively. It wasn't painful by any means, but it was emasculating. As the cool liquid flowed into my mouth, I felt a bit of relief. Taking slow, deep gulps, I drained the bottle almost instantly. Silently, with a cool demeanor, Isshiki pulled the bottle from my mouth and replaced it with a full one, free hand petting my head, running her fingers through the blood-matted clumps of dark locks that adorned my dome. I felt even less like a person at that point as the Irohas flowed down into my stomach, bringing me sweet, slight relief. When the second bottle was reduced to crumpling plastic it was removed from my mouth, and I was left with her dangerously close to my form. I still couldn't bring myself to look at her directly. Much like a dog, I could only look away as my 'master' bore her eyes into my soul. I felt guilty, like I had done something wrong and was awaiting punishment.

"Hey, hey; what do you saaaay?"

"...T-Thank you, honey…"

A leg impacted in my side swiftly, and I let out a groan of anguish. Her facial expression dropped.

" _Say it properly."_

"T-Thank you for the drink, dear! I love you!"

" _Good boy. Now...let's just relax a bit, alright? The two of us._ _ **And I mean just us.**_ "

Isshiki looked at me. Rather, she looked _through_ me. And as she did so, I felt some small part of me quickly scamper away.


	28. Chapter 25

Having seen off Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, both of which left together to do whatever it is they do in their spare time (despite the desperate attempt to get me to go with them), I sat down on my couch exasperated. The little sleep I got was uneasy, leaving me physically and mentally drained. Why do riajuu wish their life was like whatever Slice of Life/Harem that they saw on TV? It's nothing but a headache that leaves you feeling emotionally battered. Not that I have a harem. Pfft, the thought is hilarious. Kamakura lazily hops on to the seat next to me, sprawling over and letting out a long, yawning meow. I pet behind his ears and nod silently, silently communicating that I feel the same way as he does. I sink back into my comfortable position a bit more, back halfway down the sofa's supportive cushion as I close my eyes.

Frankly, I hate this. I never wanted any of this. A girlfriend was nice enough. I was content with that. Then everything sort of spiraled out of control, out of hand, and now I'm stuck in between a wolf in heat and a snow leopard. I couldn't even imagine how things will progress past this point - nor do I want too. I imagine that it'll be worse than anything I could ever come up with. It's my fault, as well. I had never spoken against it, and my actions with Yukinoshita only worked to complicate things further. The only person I could feasibly blame here is myself, and that makes me the angriest. What did I hope to gain from all of this? Not even I know. Sitting back up in my seat to avoid ruining my posture anymore, I visibly disturb Kamakura, who gives me a noiseless glare. Yeah, I deserve it, little buddy. A familiar tone begins to buzz through the air, one that until fairly recently I had considered entirely alien. The tone is one of the few stock phone ringtones I considered most pleasant, never bothering to add a custom one due to my lack of contacts (by choice). Checking the caller ID, it is none other than Yuigahama herself. Woman, I just banished you from my castle not even forty-five minutes ago, why do you already seek to contact me? _Wow, that sounded dangerously close to me in eighth grade. I need to be careful._ Pressing the accept with a sigh, I hold the phone up to my face.

"What is it, Yuigahama?"

"What's with that super mean tone?! Jeez!"

"Nevermind that, why are you calling me? Did you forget something?"

"No, no, nothing like that- Hey! That tone was just as rude! Booooo!"

I can almost see her sticking her tongue out at me through the phone.

"In that case, what's up? You don't normally call me."

"Well, well, me and Yukinon went home, and Mama...I-I mean my mom wanted to know if you would like to come over for dinner tonight!"

My brow arches at that. I've met Mrs. Yuigahama once or twice before, and both times she was an extremely pleasant, if not touchy and inquisitive woman. She gave off a matronly air alongside a bubbly personality that caught me off guard quite a few times, even causing me to blush. That's not to say I'm into older woman, but I'm not exactly against them. Ah, wait, I'm not into Yuigahama's mother at all! That'd be weird! The point stands, however, that she is quite a nice woman as far as I can tell. I have no doubt in my mind that Yui is telling the truth about her mother being the originator of the invitation.

"Mm. That actually doesn't sound too bad. If you don't mind me being tired, that is. What time?"

"Uhm...ahhh...seven? Seven! A-And don't worry about dressing nice or anything."

"I don't dress nice normally…?"

"Oh, no, I meant-"

"I'm kidding. Seven it is. I'll see you then, okay?"

"Un! Bye bye Hikki!"

I set the phone next to me with another sigh, pushing myself upward. It's noon now. Dinner in seven hours? Easy. I'll take a nap, wake up at five, then prepare and leave by six. Groggily rising to my feet, I head into my bedroom, ignoring the events of the night previous, and collapse into my bed. I set the alarm and put the volume on maximum before resting my phone on my nightstand and closing my eyes. I don't mind _this_. This is normal. A date with my girlfriend's family, for dinner? That's as normal as you can get. And there's _witnesses_. That's the most important part! Ahh. Something to look forward too. Closing my eyes, I drift into sleep that's hopefully more restful than what I had earlier today.

* * *

"He said yes, Mama! I'm so excited I think my heart might burst!"

"There there, sweetie. Come on, we have to prepare, don't we?"

"R-Right! Okay, so you pour _this_ into the drink, and _this_ into the food as it cooks?"

"Other way around, dear. My, my...I remember when my mother taught _me_ all this...a few bites of tonight's dinner and there'll be no way he can resist you. You'll be the only woman he'll ever want to look at it again."

"Ahhh...I'm so embarrassed…"

"Don't be! Be excited!"

"Y-Yes Mama!"

* * *

The blaring alarm jolts me out of my dreamless sleep, drool pooling at the corner of my mouth as my eyes groggily open despite my body's protest. Rolling out of bed (and on to the floor), I begin my crawl towards the shower. I need to prepare for my dinner date. Komachi is on the couch as I move by, looking at me in confusion.

"Onii-chan, you have legs, y'know."

"Too tired to use them. Need to get to the shower. Need to go somewhere."

"Oh? It's unlike you to move anywhere you don't absolutely HAVE to be. What's the occasion?"

"Dinner. Yuigahama's house."

"Wow, really? That's great! I'll have to cook less tonight!"

"Oi, you don't even need to cook that much to begin with."

"Still, it means I get to be a little lazy, you knoooow?"

Stop it, Isshiki.

"Mm. I need to get ready, though, so don't mind me."

"Okaaaay!"

Moving into the bathroom, I use my patented "instant nudity" technique that I developed in first grade to quickly move into the shower. I do not consider it a Loner Skill, as most of them do not result in being arrested. I blame my eagerness for baths as a younger child for development of such a horrible tool. Scrubbing and brushing myself rapidly, I find myself grinning slightly in anticipation. A nice, relaxing dinner with my girlfriend and her mother after all of this terror? Sign me up. Ah, I should really keep this hopeless optimism in check, it's not a good color for me. Hastily drying and dressing myself into something "appropriate" (appropriate being the only thing I can describe a dress shirt and slacks as), I give myself a smile in the mirror. It looks unnatural, and would probably get me arrested. Yep, I'm good to go.

"Komachi, I'm going to get a head start on the ride over."

"'Kay! Tell Yui-san and Yuigamama-san that I send my regards!"

"Yuiga...mama?"

"Don't worry about it! Shoo, shoo!"

With Komachi locking the door behind me, I take a deep breath and look around. The sky is an orangish color that's almost on the verge of pink, a few birds arguing with each other as the sound of cars seems to be just barely registering to my ears from all around without one actually being in sight. Getting on my bike, I crack my neck before pedalling forward. I've been to her house before, I know the route. It shouldn't take me too long to get there...ahhh, is it okay to arrive early? If I dally I can get there by 6:45...is that okay? I was always taught that it was better to be early than late, but being early would usually give you scowls from the people organizing the event as they would slack off and desperately attempt to get everything ready before the designated time. You being early means you caught them with their pants down. Perhaps it's better to not go at all...but Komachi would beat me into a coma. Whatever. Let's go.

* * *

Standing next to Mama, I carefully follow each of her instructions involving the proper dosage of the liquid inside the small glass jar. Too much, or too little, and the results would be catastrophic for all involved. I can see her soft, patient smile out of the corner of my eye, and I return a nervous one of my own. Hikki will be here soon, won't he? Aaahhh, this is so embarrassing! A hand pats my shoulder, however, and I look. Still smiling, Mama gives me a warm hug, one hand petting the back of my head.

"Relax, sweetie. He'll love it."

"B-But how will he react when we ask him to spend the night?"

"Don't worry about that. Mama can be very persuasive! How do you think I got with your father?"

"I-I don't know! I don't wanna know!"

"Ahhh, I was just about your age too…"

"Gah!"

As Mama laughs, there's a loud knocking on my door. Sable begins to softly bark, and I glance up at the clock. 6:52...He's early, but not TOO early. I wonder if he did that on purpose? Probably. I give myself a quick glance over. A skirt, a shirt, and a little bit of makeup...nothing particularly eye catching, but I did tell him not to dress up. Mama gives me a thumbs up, and I take a deep breath.

"C-Coming!"

With a trotting speed, I move up to the door and take a quick peek outside the peephole. Ohhh, it's definitely him. His back is turned and he's rubbing the back of his head, but he doesn't realize he's messing up his hair! Hikki is cute. Undoing the several locks, I open the door with a smile.

"Yahallo, Hikki!"

"Y-Yo."

"Come, come! Mama is waiting!"

Gripping his hand before he can respond, I tug him inside. As the door closes behind him, I redo each of the ten locks with dangerous speed - he doesn't seem to notice. But, that's okay.

Him not noticing things is a key point to this evening.

* * *

 **If you haven't been checking out 80K Hikigaya's, Weewah's, or Rubix22's work, go check it all out. Special shoutout to Rubix, though, because that short story was spooky as fuck and I loved it. Anyway, this story may or may not be wrapping up soon, considering how this is basically the final dungeon area, all things considered. SAN score hovering around 70. Thank you all for 400+ reviews, and all the follows/favorites. It means a great deal to me.**

 **And don't worry, I haven't forgotten Chinamizawa. I have a special idea involving Hiratsuka, but that's all the teasing I'll let out.**


	29. Chapter 26

Stepping inside Yuigahama's residence invoked some feelings of embarrassment mixed with apprehension and anxiety. Behind me, I could hear the clicking of locks falling into place. However, I noticed that there were more than just a few sounds indicating safety. Six...seven...eight…

"Ahh, 'Hikki'! Come in, come in!"

My concentration was shattered by what appeared to be a disembodied head peering around the corner of a wall! Pink hair, soft eyes, dangerously youthful skin, and the Yuigahama Ch-

"H-Hello, Mrs. Yuigahama. Thank you for having me."

"Oh, nonsense! I'm always happy to see my little girl's big strong boyfri-"

" _Mama!"_

Mrs. Yuigahama's teasing was cut off by her daughter, who had now taken my side, blushing furiously and pouting. Mrs. Yuigahama, however, broke out into a smile before chuckling, planting her hand on her chest as she did so - not that I paid any special attention to that. Really. When she finally caught her breath, she made a brief gesture.

"Well, make yourself comfortable - you can hang your jacket up on the hooks behind you, then join us in the kitchen. Yui, sweetie, can you come help me something in here?"

"Eh? Ah, sure!"

Daughter ran to mother as they both gave me a warm smile. I briefly considered returning it, but I felt that if I did, I'd be arrested almost immediately. I began to undo the zipper of my jacket, turning to the hook as I did so - but before I hung my coat up, I took a brief glance at the door, not staring, merely taking a mental photograph. Ten locks, in total, kept the door shut. _Ten locks_.

 _The Yuigahama residence isn't exactly in the best part of Chiba, but nothing warrants ten locks._

All of them were simple turn or chain locks that could be undone, but if someone is in pursuit…

I shook my head roughly. _No, no. She wouldn't do anything, not with her mother here. Don't be stupid._ My coat took its' place on the hook, next to Yui's and her mother's. There was a fourth hook, of course, but it was empty, indicating that her father wasn't here; probably for the best. Straightening out my shirt and checking my hair, I let out a soft sigh before advancing into the kitchen. They both stood over the stove, Yui's face looking as though she just made a colossal error, while her mother had a face of understanding.

"Uwaaah...W-Will it-"

"Yes, sweetie, it'll be fine. Just be more careful. Too much is bad, makes the taste far too strong."

From behind me, a loud noise blared. Immediately, my heart flew out of my body, and into a small box. Turning to face my opponent, I found not a monster after my soul…But Sable, who was now eagerly standing on his hind legs, his front paws on my lower thigh for support as his tail began wagging with alacrity. I grimaced briefly at the sudden, intense affection, but immediately relented as I knelt down slightly to pet his head. His tongue made contact with my skin in between each stroke, and I found myself giving a slight smile.

"Ahh, it seems Sable found out his hero is here."

"He really likes Hikki!"

"Heh...he's a loud little guy, isn't he? Startled me."

Sable looked at me with eyes of admiration as I got back up to stand properly, and began running around my legs in a small circle as I just stood there. The Yuigahama women seemed extremely pleased with this, both of them silently smiling and chuckling as Sable went on a grand sprint. However, eventually, he slowed down, rubbing himself against my leg and sitting next to me happily, tail still wagging. _Sable, I misjudged you. You're, like, totally a total bro! Eugh, Tobe is rubbing off on me._

"Is it fine if I take a seat, Mrs. Yuigahama?"

"Of course! You don't even need to ask. We are related, after all."

"Mama!"

"What? You're always telling me about how badly you want to mar-"

"Stoooooop! Stop stop stop stop-"

Ignoring the comment, I quietly take a seat at the table, watching Yui smack her mother with a soft dish towel wildly. The sight is...humorous, and would be more so if the idea of marrying Yui wasn't planted into my head by her mother. Yui looks over her shoulder at me embarrassingly, almost apologetically, but I raise my hand in and wave it in a dismissive nature. The kitchen was moderate in size, and nothing special. A few baubles and knick-knacks adorned shelves not needed for cooking materials, with family photographs lining the walls outside of the kitchen down. There was one shot of Yui, her mother, Sable, and a man that caught my attention, however. It's easy to assume that the man is Yui's father; I had never seen him before, and looking back now, I almost wish I didn't. He was an average man, as far as I could tell. Average height, black hair...but upon closer inspection, he looked incredibly tired. Not a tired that one can relate to lack of sleep, but a deeper exhaustion. An exhaustion that I'm quite familiar with, having to see it in the mirror when I wake up. The look of apathy; of having given up most hopes. The smile on his face was faint, but there; the bags under his eyes noticeable from a mile away. One could assume that having such an energetic family while working really sucks it out of a man, makes him tired. But that look wasn't something you get from losing a few hours of sleep. Without really thinking, I speak.

"Hey, Yui...what does your father do for a living?"

"E-Eh? Papa? H-He…"

"Yui's papa works out in Mihama at an investment company. He usually doesn't get to come home until late...so you'll be missing him tonight."

The visage of the man flashed through my mind once more as I gave a slow nod. That would make more sense, and would account for the stressed, pained look _. An investment company? How horrible. That poor soul…_

 _At least he has a nice home to come back too._

"There! Done!"

Yui's triumphant sound breaks me from my detective work, and I give a few blinks of confusion. She, however, holds a steaming plate with an _incredibly_ proud look on her face, as though she just discovered and simultaneously cured a disease. What exactly the plate has on it, however, I cannot tell, as she's holding it close to her chest. Mrs. Yuigahama stands behind her daughter, wiping her hands clean.

"It only took about...twenty different tries, but she finally made something great."

H-Haha...thanks for the help, Mama…"

"You're my daughter, it's my job to teach you how to keep your husband happy!"

"WH-"

"Now, now, go on, give it to him!"

Yui, now bright red, looked between her mother and myself nervously. I shifted in my seat, not really sure what to say or expect. _Her mother just praised her. She has to be a better cook than her. I'll live. I'm going to live. I won't die. I won't-_

"H-Here you go, Hikki! Dinner is served!"

The plate was thrust into my viewframe with such force I'm shocked it didn't collide into me. On it was something I was not expecting. Something I was not anticipating, an outcome I had not previously calculated into my prophecies. Yui had just served me…

Curry rice.

I looked at her. She was still blushing and fidgeting, her mother patting her shoulder assuredly.

"...It took you twenty tries to make curry rice?"

"H-Hey! Cooking isn't easy! I...wanted to make sure that it was perfect! Because, I...I-"

I quickly raised my hand to silence her, giving her a brief nod. If she had to say that infront of her mother, neither of us would ever hear the end of it. She was smiling regardless, patting her daughter's back violently and whispering phrases of encouragement as Yui shook her head with just as much energy. In the confusion, I took my eating tools into my hand and assessed the plate. The smell...was of curry rice. Beefy, slightly intoxicating and highly enticing, not a hint of anything burnt. The rice had the right texture and consistency, at least to the touch of the utensil. With a small sigh and a smaller prayer, I took a small portion up to my mouth. Blowing on it carefully, I could see Yui staring at me with eyes full of hope and anxiety, her mother hunched over slightly with the same look. Closing my own, I braced for the worst, and took it into my mouth.

Almost immediately, I was struck with the flavor. The impact was so strong I stopped chewing, my eyes widening slightly. The texture, the spice ratio, the meat, and the vegetables…everything came together perfectly. This could easily pass for something one obtained from a master chef! _You're trying to tell me Yui made this?! Yui Yuigahama?! Whaaaaaaat! I don't believe it!_ Chewing and swallowing my test bite, I calmed myself down. If I make myself seem too excited, she'll lose control of herself. Instead, I gave a small reply.

"...It's the best curry rice I've ever had."

 _That wasn't small!_

"R-Really?! Really really?!"

"I told you, Yui! Trust Mama's secrests!"

As Yui and her mother celebrated, I took another bite. And another. Yui watched me with admiration as I ate her cooking, the result of her hard work and dedication, with wide eyes. _This is embarrassing! I'm not an animal in a zoo! But...but this is so good, so I can't be mad!_ _Komachi, I'm sorry, I've failed you as a brother...I like her curry rice more than yours, I'm the worst!_ As I plowed through the meal, I realized; I was the only one eating.

"Are, uh...you two not hungry…?"

"Oh, believe me. We've had our fill on…'failed' versions. There's enough in the fridge to survive the whole winter…"

"I said I wanted it to be just right! This is just right!"

"The last one had a touch too much pepper...the one before that, salt…"

"Just! Right!"

Yui asserted herself in a dominant, prideful stance. Her mother merely sighed, muttering something about leftovers for the next week. I, however, kept eating. It was delicious. It was perfect. I couldn't get enough of it...I've never praised a dish as much as I did this one. I loved it, every morsel, every time it even touched my tongue. I loved the rice. I loved the meat. I loved Yui.

 _...Huh?_ _Why did I think that? Of course I love her._ I could briefly feel a cold sweat breaking over me as I slowed down my eating. I was mostly done, but I needed a drink. Before I could even open my mouth, Yui handed me a small glass of water, smiling happily. _When did she even get that…_

"T-Thanks, Yui…I love yooo-ooour cooking!"

 _What the Hell is going on? I...didn't say that, I didn't WANT to say that, I-_

"C-Come on, Hikki, you're embarrassing me...I'm glad you like it so much…"

She rubbed her arm in a shy manner, face red as she looked away, still gazing at me from the corner of her eye. I felt myself blushing for some reason...and burning. Hotter, hotter, and hotter still. My face was flushed, and my mind was growing …? Was I growing sick I had cycled over, but…

"Uhm...Hikki? Are you...feeling okay?"  
"...Y-Yui, go get him some more water. He looks like he's about to faint!"

"I'm fine...just...feeling kind of...warm...dizzy...urgh."

The room began spinning, slowly at first, but soon enough it was rapidly. The sky felt as though it was violently tugging me upwards as the ground held my feet firm, the two engaged in a childlike tug of war. My vision began to blur, and sounds turned into torrents of rushing water and distant screaming. I tried to stand, but I could register myself falling...and being caught. A small, muffled sound of impact, my frame being supported by Yui and Mrs. Yuigahama, the former having a terrified look on her face. I could make out shattered fragments of conversation as I was being moved.

"Door...yo...room...end...ight...ever…"

The last thing I remembered before the black stillness overtook my conscious form was being gently laid to rest on a bright pink surface. Like falling down into a field of flowers…

* * *

Things had gone without a cinch. Hikki loved my cooking...the substance Mama gave me took effect faster than we had intended. I'm not sure what she said it was, but that it would make him love me forever. What he said in the kitchen...must mean it's working!

I don't like how he asked about Papa though. Maybe he could hear him in the basement...hmm…

* * *

 **yo whatup i'm here kind of work sucks life sucks but what's up**

 **I have two other fics swarming around my head.**

 **One with a primarily Totsuka focus and the other is just plain stupid. We'll see what's going on. Sorry for the delay; love y'all.**


	30. Chapter 27

**If there's any formatting issues with line breaks, point them out. This chapter was written in FF's document editor rather than Google Docs, so things may look funky. This is the second time I've revised this.**

* * *

Slowly, through horrid tidal waves of confusion and nausea, I pulled myself from the ever-tightening grip of blissful sleep. As my rotten eyes began to adjust to the horrifically low light levels in the room, the fog that polluted my mind began to fade. _Where am I? I remember eating Yuigahama's cooking with...a frankly embarrassing amount of pleasure, but then I grew tired. Sleepy, sleepy, and sleepier still, until I..._

Slowly, I sat up. Or, rather, I attempted too. My body was still heavy from sleep - and, on top of that, there was something on top of ME. Looking forward, I could see a small brown bundle of hair and energy currently sleeping on my stomach, curled into a petite ball. Upon closer inspection, however, I realized that I was also lovingly tucked in under a soft pink comforter, on which Sable made himself quite comfortable. The softness under my head I attributed to a pillow in the similar shade of pink, and the weight on my left arm...

Was Yuigahama.

My face exploded into a flush, and I began an attempt to move. However, I halted once I realized she was asleep, using my shoulder for a pillow as her free arm was draped across my chest in a hug - another thing that held me down. Feeling in my legs returned gradually, I slowly positioned them off of the bed. In an awkward 'L' shape, I slowly rolled my body to the left. Very carefully, Sable slid off of me, still dead a sleep, until he was parked gently next to Yuigahama's thighs. _Thighs. Thighs thighs thighs._ _Focus!_ The final step of escape was simple. With my now clear path to the right, I slowly back myself out of the bed, moving backwards on my knees. As I began moving, however, Yuigahama's grip tightened to deathly levels, and I froze.

"Nn...no thanks, Mama, I've had enough to eat...couldn't stomach...another bite..."

Her grumbling ceased, and with it, her hold of me. I stayed still for at least ten seconds before moving again, freeing myself from the bed completely. As I stood and slowly backed away, I finally turned when I had reached the door. However, Yuigahama made another noise. A noise of covers moving. Shooting a look back over my shoulder, I held the knob firmly. She had shifted, facing the other direction, before settling.

"...Maybe another..."

With a twist of the knob, the door opened slowly, and I gave myself enough room to escape before clicking it back shut behind me. The abode was completely black, only the vague outlines of things visible. I felt like the thief that Yukinoshita had always made me out to be, skulking around someone's home at night, but I quickly disregarded that train of thought. In my pocket, I reached for my phone, and felt a small surge of relief when I found it there. The screen displayed that I had a single message.

"Bro, where are you at? It's getting super late! It's not nice to keep your sister waiting!"

Below that, however, was a response.

"hikki fell asleep! if u don't mind, komachi, can he spend the night? we have a room he can use"  
"Ah, that's fine! Seriously, though, falling asleep at a dinner date? When he gets back, we need to have a talk..."

 _Komachiiii...It wasn't like that, honest!_

I briefly considered the drubbing I was going to get from my adorable little sister before a sound registered in my head.

 _Klik klik klik klik. Sigh._

I focused, attempting to discern the location of the noise. Stepping slowly, I avoided tables and other pieces of furniture as the sound became louder and louder. Eventually, the trail lead me directly to a door, a thin sliver of light beaming through the bottom of it. Very gently, I tried the knob, and it was unlocked, revealing a pair of stairs that lead down to an illuminated, finished basement. Using every point of stealth I had allocated, I began to step down slowly, closing the door behind me. The lock engaging, however, had made more noise than I had anticipated, and half way down the stairs, I heard a voice - and saw it's owner.

"Is that you, honey? I'm sorry, I'll be to bed shortly, so please don't wor-...ah."

Slouched over a desk stacked high with papers was a man. He was roughly half a foot taller than I was, with messy dark hair and a slightly developed beard. Thin black frames adorned his eyes, the pupils of which were dangerously similar to mine. We stared at each other for an eternity, my body frozen on the stairs, and my words trapped inside of my throat.

"...You must be 'Hikki', I guess..."  
"...Hachiman Hikigaya. You're..."  
"Yui's father. You can call me Mr. Yuigahama, if you so wish to do so...would you, uh, like to take a seat? There's coffee, if you want..."

The man gave me a slightly worried smile, almost looking apologetic. I crept down the stairs completely, and took a seat nearby his desk. The chair was stiff, but not uncomfortable.

"You, uh...don't see surprised that I'm here."  
"Well, Yui had told me that her boyfriend was here, asleep after something about curry...I hadn't anticipated you being up and moving, though."  
"Wait, you know about-"  
"About you and my daughter, yes. Don't worry, I understand what's going on."

His expression grew slightly more solemn after he spoke that sentence, almost wincing. I readjusted my position in the seat, suddenly nervous.

"...You do?"  
"H-Heh...If I'm right, she might be a little pushy. Gets it from her mother..."  
"What are you insinuating?"

He rubbed the back of his head, coughing quietly.

"That you're most likely in the same boat I was a long time ago."  
"...Hanh?"  
"My little girl...that is to say, Yui, really likes you."  
"Well, I could gather that, but-"  
"No, no, you misunderstand me. She _really_ likes you. Catch my drift?"  
"...Sorry. No."

He let out a slight sigh. It wasn't one of irritation, but something far more bitter.

"She doesn't intend to let you go, is what I'm saying."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, that even if you were to break up with her right now and leave, you'd wind up back here before you even got half way to your house. She loves you, in the same way my wife loves ME...dangerously so."

I began sweating, looking at the seated man with an increasing amount of underlying fear. Slowly, he turned in his chair, and stuck his foot out. Attached to his leg was a manacle, which kept him tethered to the desk. He gave me a very flat, matter of fact look with an underlying hint of sadness as he shrugged. I nearly jumped up and left, before he reached down and undid the thing himself, his leg once again free.

"She likes it when I wear that, haha..."  
"...How long?"  
"Hm?"  
"How long have you been here?"  
"Ah? As in, with my wife...? Mm...almost twenty years now, I'd say."  
"You've...been held prisoner for twenty years?"  
"...I wouldn't say that. It was closer to two years."

I gave him an incredulous look. He continued.

"I mean...yeah, you can say I started off here against my will, but...that faded sort of quickly."  
"How...?"  
"When you're someplace for that long, well...feelings will eventually become mutual. I mean, she never hurt me or anything like that, y'know? Took good care of me, kept me happy, stayed with me all the time..."  
"And you never thought to escape?!"  
"Mm. I did. All the time, actually. And, you know, on one occasion, I did."  
"...What happened?"  
"Well, she had forgotten to properly secure the cuff there...so I just sort of took it off. When she was in the bathroom, I made a break for it. Right up the stairs, outside, and down the street. Boy, I never ran so fast in my life! I ran and I ran and I ran until my legs couldn't go on, then I ran some more. I ran until I didn't even know where I was anymore, and I stopped for a break. It was the first time I had been outside and around in over a year, and I felt free, you know? Great. I thought about my next move. The police, obviously. But then what?"  
"Huh?"  
"Well, I thought about it for a long time, out in a park around three AM. I'm free, I tell the police, she's arrested, but then what? Go back home? Try to finish school, get a job and support myself? What was I supposed to do? It had gotten to the point where everyone I knew thought I had abandoned them, or gone off somewhere, or worse. I was alone, with no resources to my name, be it people or monetarily. I stayed there for a few hours, staring into the sky and thinking, running plans through my head...and the only option I had was to go back."  
"And you-"  
"Walked the entire way back. Eight miles, slowly, all the way back. My body was drenched in sweat, and my legs felt as though they were about to snap, but I walked it. And I got to that door. And I thought real hard about what I was doing, what I was committing myself too by going back in there. I thought about what it would mean for my future, what it would mean for my safety, everything. I took a deep breath, and I opened that door. I found her in the living room, sobbing and curled in a small ball, as if she were waiting for the authorities to come and get her. I mean, Heck, she didn't even turn to me when the door opened. And I felt bad. Real bad. Then I called out to her, and she froze. Her head turned to me, and she gave me the saddest look I've ever seen in my life. Some things happened, we hugged, and then, y'know...we got married. I had - and still have - free reign to do whatever I wanted. With her guidance and support, I got a steady a job, and a few years after that...well, our daughter came into the mix. Now I'm here at one AM tryin' to finish up stock reports so I can go to bed...when you wander in."

I stared at the man, mouth agape, as he told me his story. This man... _is crazy! Totally crazy! Why would he-_

"And, I know, you're probably thinkin' I'm crazy or something..."

 _Geh._

"But, love is funny like that, you know? And, no, it isn't Stockholm syndrome or anything like that, it's just..."

He leaned over his desk, his cheek resting on his hand as he looked off into the distance - more accurately, the wall.

"I've never felt so loved before in my life. At first, yeah, I thought she was...creepy. Crazy, really. And...you could argue that possessive is a type of crazy, I suppose, one based off of insecurity. But I found myself drawn to her, regardless. To her kindness, her embrace. Her...genuine qualities, you could say."

He gave a dry laugh.

"Boy, all the things I could've avoided if I had just stayed with her to begin with! Man, I was a dummy when I was your age. I thought she was _soooo_ scary, that I was actually ignoring her feelings."

I shift uncomfortably, averting my gaze, as the man's words were beginning to hit dangerously close to home.

"Feelings that I'm sure Yui has for you."  
"I..."  
"Hey, you can trust me. I recognize the excitement in her voice, the energy she has when she mentions you. Mirrors the wife, at her age. She really, you know...loves you. Ahhhn, my little girl is growing up..."

 _Hey, don't get sentimental now!_

"But you're scared, right, Mr. Hikigaya?"  
"No, it's not that, it's..."  
"Unsure of what you want?"  
"...Yeah. You could say that."  
"Heh, well...with Yui, you're gonna be getting a life long commitment. I can guarantee you that girl will go through Hell and high water just to make you happy. Yuigahama women are like that. But she'll expect your complete trust, since she'll be giving you hers. Understand?"  
"You're being awfully calm about throwing your daughter into the arms of a man..."  
"I know better than to try and dissuade her, and you don't seem the scummy type - or you would've already told her to leave you alone, or abused her feelings. In other words, I have some faith. You remind me a bit of myself."  
"And what I refuse the path that Yuig...your daughter has laid out for me? What if I want to go in another direction than the one she has planned?"  
"You'll shatter her heart and soul into a thousand tiny pieces, and from the damage she will not recover."

While the rest of his speech had a fairly upbeat, positive tone to it, the manner of which he spoke in the last reply he gave was chilling. It was no assumption, it was a stated fact, and it was not one he was pleased with. I shared the sentiment.

"...And what if there's someone else?"  
"Interested in you, or you interested in them?"  
"...I guess you could say it's a yes on their end, and vaguely on mine."  
"Mm...then that's something you'll have to figure out, Mr. Hikigaya. It's your life. But you'll be hurting someone. Can I ask you a question, though?"  
"Shoot."  
"Can you say, with utter certainty, that you love my daughter?"  
"...That's a pretty blunt question."  
"I know. But, do you? And, please, consider everything I've told you."

I gave it some thought. I had begun dating Yui because I loved her, true. But over the past few weeks, I can safely say that I had felt that love straining due to my own perceptions of aggressive behavior from her. But, now, I take into consideration what Mr. Yuigahama has said to me. Her insecurities. Her fears. Her feelings. Thinking about it all, I pause. I take, and exhale, a deep breath. _Despite all this. Despite everything I've done, she's done, said, and tried, I can say..._

"Yes."  
"I'm glad. I won't call you son-in-law just yet, but...Heck, it sure seems like that might be the case, huh?"  
"D-Don't go jumping to conclusions like that. I never said anything like that, and who knows what the future might hold."  
"If the future holds anything, it'll be because of YOUR actions, mister."

Gulp.

"But, you know, you don't have to worry about telling Yui anything you just said."  
"And why's that...? You'd rather keep this meeting secret?"

Before he could respond, a brown dog came into vision, sitting peacefully. As though he had been there the entire time.

"H-Hikki, you mean it...?"

Turning back, Yui stood on the stairs, one hand on her chest and the other covering her mouth, her face red and wet with tears that I could only assume were from happiness. Mr. Yuigahama gave me a slight, happy smile through a worn, tired face.

"Y-Yuigahama, I...u-uhm..."

I stuttered, tripping over my own words. She stood there, patiently, waiting for me to recover, still stuck in the same pose. Mr. Yuigahama, however, was mouthing words of encouragement. _What kind of dad is this?!_

"...Yui."  
"H-Hikki...?"  
"...I love you."

Her voice cracked as she winced, more tears pouring from her eyes as she wobbled on the stairs, taking slow steps down them before advancing towards me. As she came close, Mr. Yuigahama spun around in his chair, facing towards the wall as if we weren't there. Shakily, I bought myself to my feet and opened my arms. _Is this really fine? This path I'm choosing._ I thought those words at least a hundred times before Yui pressed herself against my body, wrapping her arms around me as she buried her face into my chest, sobbing quietly.

"Honey, are you awake down there? What's taking you so-...oh, my."

Yui paid no mind to her mother, still hugging and crying into my shirt. Mrs. Yuigahama herself had her hand over her mouth in astonishment, looking between me and her husband, who slowly brought himself up from his seat, moving around us and to her.

"We should go, dear. They have a lot to talk about."  
"Y-Yes...let's get some sleep, okay?"

As they ascended the stairs, I heard Mrs. Yuigahama talk.

"You didn't say anything silly, did you?"  
"Hoh? You have so little faith in me?"  
"Uuu...I hope you didn't feed him any cynical lines..."  
"Maybe one or tw- ow! Hey, no hitting!"

I stood holding Yui for what seemed like a century before her sobbing finally came to a halt. With a ruined yet happy face, she looked to me, still sniffling, and leaned up. She pressed her lips against mine, digging her fingers into my clothing, and I did not resist.

"Hikki..."  
"Y-Yeah?"  
"What about...Yukinon...?"

Chills.

"...We'll tell her together."  
"Are you s-"  
"It's our only choice."  
"O-Okay, Hikki. I...I trust you. Do you think she'll...take it well?"  
"...I can almost guarantee you she won't."

Her expression sunk further.

"But we can try to do what we can. For now, though, it's late...and I should be heading home."  
"N-No, it's fine, you can stay here!"  
"I don't have a place to sleep."  
"Hikki, don't be a dummy. It's fine."  
"Yui-"  
"Hikki."

She peered at me, pouting angrily before she pinched my cheeks, tugging on them.

"After all you said, you're still afraid to sleep next to me?"  
"I-I never said I was afraid!"  
"Then you're doing it!"  
"Wait! I never agreed to that!"  
"Come on Sable, we're going!"  
"Stop pulling me! I'll stay on the couch, it's fine!"  
"Nope!"

 _Gaaaaaaah!  
_

* * *

In their room, Mister and Misses Yuigahama listened to the racket coming from the hallway, all the way to the other end, where it ceased. Mr. Yuigahama gave a slight sigh of relief as he stayed next to his wife, who was currently wearing her light pink pajamas. He had gotten them for her months ago when he was out on a business trip, and she had been using them ever since. They looked cute on her.

"Honey...?"  
"Mm?"  
"Do you think I did the right thing with Hikigaya? Telling him...you know. Everything."  
"Well...he hasn't run outside screaming, and Yui is happy. I think you gave him a push onto a path that he needed."  
"Hm. I just hope it's one he ends up enjoying."  
"I'm sure he will...now, let's go to bed, alright~? I'm tired after all the cooking today!"  
"...So what did you put in his curry, anyway?"  
"Ahh...Valerian..."  
"Pfft. That's so like you."  
"S-Shush!"  
"Ow!"

* * *

 **hi**


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